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Self-help group aids widows and widowers

By JUDY CREIGHTON Canadian Press

The funeral is over, the flowers are wilting and friends and family have gone. °

Suddenly, for the widow or widower left behind, it seems if their world has come to dn abrupt end.

First “comes the shock, the initial numbness,” says ‘twice-widowed Joan Beall, 59, of Toronto.

“You_may be.unrelated to reality. Gradually, however, the anesthesia of shock wanes and denial takes over.”

Beall felt that numbness and devastating loss when her first husband, John Smith, died in 1974. Her second husband, Tom, died last year at 60.

FORMED GROUP

Putting aside her grief in 1978, Beall started a self-help group for widows and widowers in Toronto. Called People in Touch, it met every Saturday night “because that can be the loneliest night of the week.”

That experience, plus her second journey into widow- hood, inspired Beall to look into the emotional stages of grieving and mourning.

“I haunted libraries and read as much as I could on surviving death and how to adjust to the loss and set on a road to rehabilitation.”

The result is a 60-minute audio cassette called Coming to Grips with Grief, in which Beall is commentator.

“A lot of people are not inclined to read books about something as devastating as losing a partner, especially at the time,” she says. “And during those initial stages you have so many documents shoved in front of your mind, you can be in a state of confusion.”

LIKE A FRIEND

Beall believes a soothing cassette which can be turned off and on at will can be more comforting to a person alone and depressed.

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She tries to talk as a friend to her listener, to ease the intense grief he or she is experiencing.

For example, to achieve a sense of well-being and a positive outlook on life, “you must attend to your grieving exercises,” she says, explaining the usual stages of grieving.

“You are inclined to think this can't have happened. Surely I will wake tomorrow and find it was all a horrible dream.”

That denial often turns to anger, which in turn leads to guilt. As a result, “serious depression may take hold.”

Beall says one of the biggest problems in today's society is an unwillingness to accept death.

PART OF LIFE

“Death, like sex, is a fact of life,” she says. “At one time mourning was a recognized part of the life pattern and I honestly feel that the sooner we accept death as an integral part of life, the easier it will be for everyone.”

Consequently, Beall counsels her listeners to confront and accept the grieving process, because not to do so “can seriously impede future life.”

Her cassette is helpful particularly immediately after the death of a partner, when the survivor is most alone and afraid, and for the weeks and months of grieving that lie ahead.

Beall offers what she calls affirmative actions, or AA.

“Taking one day at a time, the philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous has been mentioned to me by a number of widowed people as being applicable to widowhood.

“They discovered that thinking about the possibility of an endless life alone, without partners, too early in grieving was . . . overwhelming.

“One day at a time was manageable.”

The cassette can be obtained by sending $9.95, plus provincial tax where applicable, to People In Touch, P.O. Box 101, Station U, Toronto, Ont. M8Z 5M4.

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PARENTS CUT BACK ON WORK TO RAISE KIDS

TORONTO (CP) — Margaret Coe nurses her baby at noon, Then she grabs a cheese sandwich and puts on her steel-toed boots.

“He's been really grumpy,” she warns Keith Wilson before hurrying to her afternoon job as a research chemist at Dow Chemical Canada in Sarnia, Ont.

Wilson isn't the babysitter. He's Coe’s husband and he, too, works half-days — as a clerk at Esso Petroleum Canada, a division of Imperial Oil.

Coe and Wilson, who are in their 30s, are among a small but apparently growing number of parents who have decided to cut back on their work time to bring up baby.

They live on what amounts to one salary, putting their careers on hold and searching for flexible employers.

In Victoria, physicians Linda Green and Ian Gibson, both 37, have shared a medical practice for four years. To care for their two children, Green works mornings and Gibson works afternoons.

“Once in a while I give him a kiss when I pass him in the hall,” Green says.

ALTERNATE MONTHS

In Toronto, tax accountants Douglas Hartkorn and Joanne Magee, both 32, shared a job last year at Clarkson Gordon, one of Canada’s biggest accounting firms, to care for their newborn daughter. He worked one month, she worked the next. He confides that he found the work more draining at home.

Those couples share an aversion to full-time child care and feel the wife's career is at least as important as the husband's.

“When we started, it was women who wanted to work less,” says Bruce O'Hara, director of Work Well, a non-profit group in Victoria that designs work schedules.

“In the last year, we've noticed a real upswing in interest by males.”

Accommodating companies can keep valued employees and can better fill what might actually be part-time jobs.

The downside is the disruption. Work Well, for instance, lets its seven employees work part-time. That means they're rarely all at work at once.

CALLS HOME

“We do a certain amount of calling people at home,” O'Hara admits.

Dow Chemical says flexibility can benefit everyone. But it distinguishes between part-time jobs, which it endorses when the work is too light to warrant full-time positions, and job-sharing, which it frowns upon.

For employees, the shared benefit is the joy of raising children. There is also the peace of mind that comes with knowing that a spouse is at home.

“He's there, so I feel so much better,” says Kathy English of her husband, David, an oceanographer in Victoria who uses overtime accumulated in summer to spend Fridays with their two pre-schoolers the rest of the year.

Frances Hunter, who has a job at Work Well, shares the care of her 11-year-old son — a special-needs child who needs constant supervision — with her architect husband, Richard.

JUGGLES SCHEDULE

Frances, 45, works three days a week. Richard, 57, works two days and juggles his schedule around his son's the rest of the week.

The dual-career, dual-parenting lifestyle can be con fusing.

Since September, Tella Sametz, a guidance counsellor in London, Ont., has alternated workdays with her husband, James Madden, a community worker.

“On Sunday night, we sit down with our calendars and we look at each other,” says Sametz, 36. “Sometimes as I'm going to bed, I can't remember if I'm working at home or at school.”

Hartkorn and Magee have left Clarkson Gordon and both have full-time jobs — he in a more senior position at a smaller accounting firm, she as controller of a real-estate company. They're thinking about another child.

Would they share a job again?

“It’s just too complicated now,” Hartkorn says., “Be sides, we just bought a new house.”

SCIENCE

Jonvory 20, 1988 Castlegar News cs

Type Am to surviv

BOSTON (AP) — Hard driven men with Type A per- sonalities are almost twice as likely as less aggressive people to survive heart di- sease, according to a U.S. study.

The research also chal: lenges the advice that heart attack victims should slow down and relax.

It casts new doubt on the theory that Type A behavior puts people at higher risk of getting heart disease — an idea already questioned by several other researchers in recent years.

“I am coming more to the opinion that Type A behavior may not have muchto do with coronary heart disease in the final analysis,” said Dr. Dav- id Ragland, who directed the latest study.

In the 1960s, a research project called the Western Collaborative Group Study concluded that men with Type A personalities were twice as likely as their easy- going counterparts (Type Bs) to suffer heart attacks and

en likely e attack

heart pain called angina.

That study, based on about eight years of followup, was the first major evidence of a link between Type A be havior and heart trouble. It's still the only study of its kind to find such an association.

According to the theory, Type As are ambitious, ir ritable, competitive people, always in a hurry. Type B's are more self-secure and pat- ient and don’t let small ag. gravations bother them.

In the latest research, Ragland and Dr. Richard Brand, both of the University of California at Berkeley, went back to the Western Collaborative study to see what happened to the same people years later.

They looked at 257 men, both Type As and Type Bs, who were identified as hav. ing heart disease.

To their surprise, they found that over the next 13 years, the Type As were only 58 per cent as likely as the Type Bs to die of heart prob- lems.

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BLIND PHYSIOS FIND WORKING A CHALLENGE

WINNIPEG (CP) — Helene Jacques's fingers expertly clatter over a computer keyboard while in unemotional tones a voice synthesizer reads back the patient chart the blind physiotherapy student is completing.

A touch of a braille-marked key and the entry moves from the computer screen to a printer that holds adhesive-backed paper. Once signed by the second-year student, the paper is then attached to the patient's full medical chart.

“It's probably the only legible writing on the chart,” chuckles Jacques, 33, a former registered nurse from Quebec City who lost her sight six years ago.

Jacques and Janet Schuster, 23, of Edmonton, are completing their first stint of hospital work after a year of classes with sighted classmates in what is believed to be the only program of its kind offered at a North American university.

Having passed their first year at the University of Manitoba's school of Medical Rehabilitation with B-plus averages, the pair found working with patients a challenge.

“It's so much different than in an academic setting,” said the blond-haired Schuster, dressed in a crisp white and blue uniform.

MAKING IT

“Here you're out in the real world dealing with real people, You're not dealing with textbooks anymore. And that's where you find out if you're going to really make it.”

Getting into that real world in the first place wasn't easy.

A.J. Fernando, who co-ordinates the visually im- paired student program, put them through their paces right from.the beginning.

Schuster and Jacques were asked to walk down a corridor and raise their arm every time they passed an open door. He'd then tell them to walk down to the end of the hall and stop exactly 15 centimetres from the wall. They did.

“The two were no different (from other students),” said Fernando. “But they had to go through other hoops before they came here.”

Fernando refuses to give the two any extra help, unless it specifically has to do with their blindness.

“I said to them: ‘I will not cater to mental impair- ment around here. I will cater to visual impairment. Because you cannot see I will make sure you feel it. But if it’s mental impairment, you're out.’ ”

GIVEN PLAN

The pair were given a raised-line floor plan — a kind of braille map — to help find their way around at each of the two teaching hospitals that made up the first block of their clinical work.

They were also given a day to learn where furniture is placed in hospital rooms, and Jacques admits she gets miffed if a table or chair is moved.

They've been taught to go up and down stairs witha patient on crutches, and have learned special techniques to identify ailments, Fernando said.

The voice-synthesized computer, a talking timer for taking heart and pulse rates and a talking blood pressure unit round out the special equipment.

“The only thing we haven't been able to get over is reading EKG's and X-rays,” said a self-assured Schuster in a recent interview at the Health Sciences Centre's Rehabilitation Hospital, where most of her classes and part of her training takes place.

Instead, the two must rely on written reports, a system clinical liaison officer Giselle Darrow said is common in many hospitals.

But what really irks the two students is that because the two teaching hospitals are not hooked up yet to a full computer system, reports and charts have to be read to them.

“It's the worst thing that I've found because I’m able to do all the other things without any problem,” said Jacques, a recipient of a Terry Fox award for scholastic achievement.

“And one day when all the charts will be on computer I won't have this problem. So I dream about this day.”

Fernando said three more blind students are starting their first year in the special program, which began in 1986 with a $178,000 federal start-up grant and help from the Canadian National Institute for the Blind.

He said he's not heard on word of hesitation about the students from patients, and praised staff for looking upon the situation as a challenge.

Schuster said she was a little nervous before beginning her first work on the wards, but added she was no different than her sighted colleagues.

“Any student, whether they can see or not, when they come into their first clinical setting, are a little

Saskatchewan rate high

REGINA (CP) — Sask- atchewan has one of the highest death rates from asthma in Canada, says a study by the federal Health Department.

The study says the prov. ince also has one of the largest percentages of people admitted into hospitals be-

cause of asthma-related problems.

The report was published in an issue of the Canadian Medical Association Journal.

One of the report's six authors, Howard Morrison, said he can't understand why the Saskatchewan figures are so high.

Kids’ problems start at birth

CALGARY (CP) — The problems that lead to de- linquent children can start at birth, says an Alberta gov ernment worker who hopes to start a prevention pro- gram.

Most low-birth-weight babies don't respond socially as quickly as normal babies, says Dean Fixsen, co-ordi- nator of the William Roper Hull Home in Calgary.

If a low-birth-weight baby is born into a good, nurturing family — rich or poor — the

chances ‘for social and aca. demic success are good, Fix- sen says.

“But if you have a low birth weight coupled with other conditions, like a single-par- ent teenage mother, alcohol dependence, poor nutrition, they will likely have social problems.”

Under the proposed pro- gram, Fixsen says obstetri- cians would “raise the red flag” when a low-birth- weight baby is born so a pre. vention team could talk to the mother.

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Some of the factors most associated with the chronic respiratory disease, such as pollution and the use of sul phite food additives, are no worse than other parts of the country.” no worse than other parts of the country.”

He said the study did not set out to offer reasons as to the high numbers.

“We simply wanted to examine Canadian data after looking at studies from Great Britain, New Zealand and other industrialized countries that indicated asthma is on the rise.”

Pollution and tobacco smoke may be factors, Mor- rison said.

It is estimated more than 500,000 Canadians have asthma, which causes cough- ing and wheezing and makes breathing difficult. It can result in death if the swollen membranes of the bronchial tubes block air passages.

Dr. Howard Hopkins, a Regina respiratory specialist, said the study is important because it points out asthma is increasing even though

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