How to Out-Fox a Fox

... or the sad, sad story of Jonas McGuillicuddy!

Old Jonas McGuillicuddy was as shrewd as a fox with sixteen college degrees, including one from Harvard. He took great pride in bragging far and wide how he could stretch a dollar bill further than anybody.

Jonas was a farmer, and a good one. He was as careful with his tools and equipment as a mother cat with her kittens.

But . . . one day he broke the handle out of his garden hoe . . . went to town to look for a new one... and ain't been the same ever since

Jonas bought most of his hardware stuff from a guy named Willard Davis. He'd run the store for thirty years, and knew everybody for miles around. Awful quiet fellow. Wouldn't get excited if his hair caught on fire.

“Need a hoe, Willard,”” Jonas said. “Whataya got in a good hoe for not too much money?”

Willard hauled out three hoes and laid ‘em on the counter. Before he could say a word, Jonas picked up one and remarked that it was just like his old hoe.

“How much?” Jonas wanted to know.

"$13.79," said Willard.

“Too much,” said Jonas.

“Oh?” said Willard.

“Too much,” repeated Jonas. “Why | can get the same darn hoe exactly from Whoozis and Whatzis for $13.49, ‘cause | looked in their catalog before I came to town. That's a whole 30

cents cheaper than your price!”

Willard didn’t say anything for a minute. Just chewed a couple of times on his pipe.

Finally he said, “Jonas, | ain't going to argue with you. You're a good customer. My

“

price of $13.79 is fair and square . . . but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll sell you that hoe ‘mail order catalog style.”

“Let me get this right, Willard, you'll sell me this here goe for just what it'd cost me by mail?”

“For you, Jonas, | will.”

“It's a deal!” Jonas barked, before Willard could back down. “Here’s your $13.49.” He grabbed the hoe and started for the door.

“Hold on, Jonas, you owe me just a little more money,” Willard said quietly.

“How so?” Jonas wanted to know.

“Well, said Willard, and he started to grin “it'd cost you 36 cents for a stamp to send in your order. That's $13.85 right there.

As Jonas started to turn purple, Willard wenton... “and then it'll cost your $3.00 more return postage from Montreal on your hoe. That's $16.85 and that’s what you owe me.”

Ever see a fox in a trap? He'll look everywhere for a hole to sneak out of. But, Willard had plugged every hole and old Jonas was caught fast. He knew it, too.

Jonas was breathing a little hard as he hammered $16.85 down on the counter. Willard thanked him, nice as could be.

Once more Jonas reached for the hoe.

“Git your Agnds off that hoe, Jonas!” Willard said. He was grinning again. “You_know darn well what kind of service you get from catalog outfits!”

Willard took the hoe out of Jonas’ stun- ned fingers, and laid it back on the shelf. “Come in two weeks from now, Jonas, and you can have it!”

RSy\ »,

aa

Castlégar News

Display Advertising 365-5210

Delivers the competition o POWER with iL

Pe ee to handle 14,1 Ibs.1

STIHL 064

new 1-2 combintation, MORE The.

199 Columbia Ave.,

lumbia (Wine House) “voli Whe: new. Stihl 064 packs-more i wee 239

engine but weighs in at an easy

SPECIAI ANNOUNCEMENT

Deborah Wetter & Shannon Semonoff

© 05 c0. 14.1 the

Kootenay Hair Show", May 3. FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE WE WILL BE OPEN THIS MONDAY, MAY 18

New %2:2077 York

TWO Raleigh Gran Prix bicycles, D apeods 160 each, ‘good con: wane Phone 365-788) tin/22

JOHNNY'S Buy of the Week

TOP tr 6 j $60. 12-yd. loads, $100. Pou! legebakolt, 359-7926.

CRESTON TURF

Over 10.000 sq.t. PHONE 428-2686 _ USED GUNS bought and sold

Wises Hardware, 5171, tin 93

Photocopyi Reductions ond enlargements - up toll'x17 Kel Print Stationery

Tee Courtyard Downtown tqvare

4-PCE. DRUM SET, $250; La: sailboat, $1,100; _motorbil 81XR100, $350. 365-3969. 7.

RATES AND INFORMATION Rates First 10 Words $3.75 Additional Words 20¢ 3 insertions for Price of 2 7 Insertions for Price of 4 Special Reduced Rates for

13x, 18x, 26x, 52x, 104x ere Also Available

Special Rates ore for Consecutive Insertions

Attention Getters

25¢ for each time ad appears (Minimum charge 75¢.)

Legal Ads Word ads: 20¢ per word tor one insertion; 15¢ per word for subsequent consecutive insertions. Minimum charge is for 20 words. Legal boxed ads 64¢ per agate line for one in sertion, 48€ per agate line tor subsequent consecutive inser tions

Payment Policy Payment may be made by cash, cheque or Visa and MasterCard credit cards. It is not advisable to send cash through the mail. Classitied Ads may be charged, but a $1 billing charge will be made it

e ad is not paid for seven dove ofter it first appears (This $1 charge does NOT ap. ply to Visa ond MasterCard charges.)

—) VISA a Action Ads Deadline “Word Ads” EOD CASNEWS loon Tuesday

SUNDAY CASNEWS 11 a.m. Friday

Classified Display Ads Deadline

‘Boxed Ads" SNEDNESO AY, cenews

o.m. Tuesday

SUNDAY CASNEWS ‘a.m. Friday Order by Mail

Print your Action Ad on a separate piece of paper and mail to: Action Ads

Box 3007 CASTLEGAR, B.C

VIN 3H. The Castlegar News reserves the right to classify ads under

appropriate headings and to determine page location

must comply with the British Columbia Human Rights Act. This Act states no advertisement may

limitation, or specitic the basis of on appticont's race, religion, colour, marital status, ancestry, place of origin, age, sex (unless the matter relates to the m

TRANSMISSION, Chev 4 spd. Society od. wanderd, Yurbe 0° ete. 3437-9th Ave.

GOLF CARTS and trailers. New shipment. Call Nick 365-5808.

mud terrain T/A's ri letter. $550. 365-3674.

Special!!! Armstrong MEDIUM

“A Classy Salon in the Suburb"

* Advanced Hair Design. perm and color techniques

© Our Workmanship is Guaronteed

365-3077

Ans. Service

SEAMLESS 5" GUTTERS BR Heavy gouge aluminum, con wot 5-year leakproot guoran- POI ea a —_ t0*. Free estimates. Call Mr. TOPSOIL, road and cement Gutter. 365-3240, 104,23 ravel, drainrock, ‘and sand: jackhoe sel Legebokott. Ph. 359-7926. ar 22

SEEDS Seamless

HANNAS SEEDS LIMITED path tedipredar Gutters Toll Free 1-800-661-1529 4° or 5" heavy gauge painted aluminum

ALFALFAS * CLOVERS 5-year leak proot guarantee.

GRASSES * CANOLA Large Discounts Available!

Call Mr. Gutter 365-3240

ASPARAGUS 7 Donald's South, Nursery noad Grand Forks, 442-5331 7/34

We Recharge <=

Automobile @ BEDDING PLANTS for sole. Dit. AIR fer ‘ent ayarieties 810 Highway

Blueberry Creek. tn/40 CONDITIONING GARDENING © UNITS FOR RENT

PHONE 365-5051 ‘ Very Reasonable Rates

TRAIL APPLIANCE

REPAIR ‘yrinseosay? 1055 Columbia Ave., Castlegar

EVERYTHING IS AVAILABLE NOW

, CRUSHED GRAVEL (for road

AT TROWELEX

This Space

RB US INES PLUG INTO THE CLASSIFIEDS - For More Information Call Display Dept. 365-5210

is Available

by Lynn Johnston

' THOUGHT They MGHT uae TO HAVE...

Re I'M GIVING : teonies f

EACH

Heavy duty all-purpose

plastic pails with tight-fitting covers and handles.

Need cleaning. $1.50 each.

CASTLEGAR NEWS

¥ Ave. "ian Bom

and si

Brocuad CompuTERZED

WATER A

| BioGuard Swimmi

am Sate

filters, heaters, motors, pumps and more. We al

LL GARY

tull line of chemicals.

968-7209 2706 Centre Ave.. Blueberry Creek VALK YR AQUATICS

ANTIQUE bedroom 1 crib without mattress, TV., stroller all in good conditon. 365. ar

RUSSELL AUCTION HOUSE

New & Used Furniture for Sale

Phone 399-4793

1979 GMC %-T. camper special New toilet, harvest gold. 365- 7971. eee 7

+) Hotpoint Air Conditioner

Pre-Season Sale

5,000 BTU Reg. $399.95

Good Selection of Other Models & Sizes in Stock

Columbia

SERVING CASTLEGA| & AREA FOR 44 YEARS!

WEEKEND WORK NO EXTRA CHARGE FREE ESTIMATES SENIORS & CASH DISCOUNTS

* Loading & Hauling * Back Hoe Work

* Road Gravel

* Concrete Gravei * Sand

* Drain Rock

© Top Soil

Thanks for Your Patronage

KINNAIRD TRANSFER tr.

Ph. 365-7124

Appliance L

READERS of the Castlegar News the

ing Pool Chemicals

For all your pool maintenance needs, call the experts! We install

ALMGND Tridge Tove condition, asking $600. Ph. 365- 5894 evenings. 3/

Iso carry a

PROVINCE-WIDE CLASSIFIED $129

APPLE PLUS ft cempurer. monitor, printer. $750. Phone af ter 6 p.m. 362-5955. 3/38

$0 FOR CASH! Coll us for details!

365-5210

se

MOFFAT Deluxe range, syorking condition, evailable, in June. $40. 365

FIVE lifejack: cneried sizes), $8 each. 365. stat “

B exe

berehip in the Br Yokon Com, unity Newspaper Assn. are of fered the most comprebi and. cost-efficient. advertising Program ever. For $129 per lace your 25 word “blanket” classified ad in more than 920,000 homes. Your Action Ad-will appear in over 80

WE CAN HELP YOU BE WORTH MORE TOMORROW THAN YOU ARE TODAY!

inonciel Counnetling

with more than 2.75 million readers! And there is a $10 discount tor cash. Call our Action Ad number 365-2212 tor details

tin/87

BLACK SANDY LOAM TOPSOIL

Call 365-3315

WILL PAY CASH for green black bear hides. Phone 365-3632 evenings, 365-6327. Grifone Taxidermy, 37

1055 Columbia Ave. Castlegar 365-5051 (Beside W.K. Power)

FOR SALE: School bus seats Idea! ter patios or poo! side. $25 each. Phone 365-3; or 365. 6485.

tins 1

2x4 & 2x6

HL

it. $140,

"Bedding Plants Now in Stock OPEN SUNDAYS

ARROW BUILDING

240-6th Ave. 365-2175

Call 365-3315

$132, minimum service charge SUPER FUN TRAMPOLIN| for outlying areas. 365-2600. 13° money-back guarantee $995. tin/20 Ph. 365.

PUBLIC NOTICE

Greyhound Lines of Canada Ltd.

announces that an

has been made to the Motor Carrier Commission to change

application

Passenger fares as follows

(a) Upwardly adjust the standard adult one-way fare five percent, not to exceed two dollars and fifty cents per ticket. Effective: June 15, 1987

(b) Mid-Week fare and one-half Excursion for round-trips between points served intra provincial. Effective: October 17, 1987 to December 17, 1987 and from January 18, 1988 to March 17, 1988 inclusive Mid-Week round-trip Excursion fares will be valid for the going portion of the trip; Monday to Thursday and the return trip will be allowed any day of the week within the limit of the ticket Limit of ticket will be 14 days in addition to date of sale.

Any objections to this application may be filed with: The Superintendent of the Motor Carriers, 4240 Manor Street, Burnaby, British Columbia,

V5G 3X5, on or before June 1, 1987

ig ahs Branch).

USED R.V. SALE & OPEN HOUSE Saturday, May 23 LET'S DEAL! coop prices

Popo PARKLAND TENT CAMPER

USED MOTOR HOMES 17’ Frontier 18 Aristocrat 21' Otto 26' Citation 23' Itasca Class A

USED VAN CONVERSIONS 81 Frontier Maxi Van ‘81 XTC Van

Bring Your Trades

MIKE'S MOBILE HOMES LTD.

Castlegar

a

JACK L. PARKIN Bus. 365-6664 © Res. 365-2694

ted Ag gf!) Mutual Lite of canada (] Mutual Investco

i € oes TV, color, good coat ion. $199. 365-5365.

38

G&G WOODWORK wooo WINDOWS

& DOORS * CABINETS * CUSTOM

FURNITURE © INTERIOR

FINISHING © GARAGE DOORS Soles Repairs

GRAHAM READ

RIM to fit tire size 145 SRI3 ie ik new Oe,

seyete. car,

any Alternator $20. Ph. =

BonaK 10 Ibs. ageeryeaiy grown rhuborb S04

perry. ph plants, KS 186 /doe "3 French $2.00 . 6239, 3/38 10. GREEN beddin, Nant troys, x24", 308 wach. 965-3701.

FLOOR LAMP and table ane, beeord set, $15. 21°21" fan, pile a 3/38

‘ond each item must have a price stated. We will run your ad tor 3 issues.

REGISTERED tiny silverti p reacup poodles for sale. 365-67 780.3

222- jenn aciieger

LADIES 18” Kuwahora mountain bik: . Excellent conan.

I p.m.

New Concept In Feeding Now Available SELF FEEDING BLOCKS 25 Kg. Blocks for Horses, Dairy and Beet

ARROW BUILDING

- AUCTION | Estate & Antique Sale

Location Russell Auction House Thrums, 8 Miles North of Castlegar on Hwy. 3A

Sunday, May 24

Castlegar. 365-2178 + Trot 268-

Sharp

USED TRAILERS

13’ Boler

14’ American 15° Aristocrat 15% Vanguard 16’ Travelmate 16' Scamper 17’ Scamper

18’ Layton

18% Vanguard 20 Layton

21 Prowler

21 Free Spirit 22 Triple E

23 Vanguard 25 Prowler

Dealer 5012

WIDE CHOICE OF NEW

1987 MOTOR HOMES & TRAILERS

10: OFF

PARTS & ACCESSORIES

Saturday Only

Phone: 365-5741

Antique Furniture is in Very Good Condition — PARTIAL LIST ONLY —

FURNITURE 8-Pce Walnut DR. Set 5-Pce. Duncan & Fite Diningroom Set — Butfet & Hutch — 5-Pce. Villo Maple D.R. Set _ ied 3-Pec

— Chit Maple Bunkbeds Dressers with Mirrors Chests of Drawers Chestertields and Chairs Small Writing Desk

~ Ook Chairs

EQUIPMENT 16-1. Self-Contained Trailer — Toro 770 Riding Lawn Mower 1976 Plymouth Fury, 4-Dr 1976 175 cc. Harley Dovidson

cTION = **

3:

Open SSELL Mon.-Set.

Hwy. 3A, Thrums sal 4793

GLASSWARE —_10-Pce. Setting, Noritake China — Old English, Victorian Crystal & Nippon Royal Alber!, Royal Bayreuth jueer nn and Depression Gloss Steamer Trunks — Linen, Comera & Equip. Lomps and Pictures

APPLIANCES Deep Freeze Washer and Dryer Spin Washer Dishwashers

PLUS MANY MORE MISCELLANEOUS HOUSEHOLD ITEMS |