Rage 6B

The C

Sun

Wednesday, September &. 1992

Wednesday, September 2, 1992

The Castlegar Sun

Page 7B

‘Woman searches for son she has not seen since 1973

Dear Ann Landers: My hus- band and I were divorced in 1973. "Cliff" refused to sign the ‘divorce papers unless | agreed to

Yet him keep our son, "Steve," ~who was then one- year old. At

time, I didn't have a job or S@pough moncy to take Cliff to teourt and fight for custody. {When I took a job out of state, | Cliff agreed to keep in touch and {let me know how our son was “doing.

Cliff kept in touch only spo- radically and never contacted anyone else in my family. Every year my grandmother bought Christmas, Easter and birthday cards for Steve, but she never was able to give them to him because Cliff never visited her. Enclosed in these cards were sav- ings bonds in various amounts.

: Grandma told me not to give these cards to Steve until he turned 18 because she was afraid Cliff and his new wife would cash the bonds and keep the

them? Will you please help me?-

- Needing Info in Pensacola

Dear Pensacola: Contact the Salvation Army. They do a splendid job of tracking down missing persons. You can rely on the Salvation Army to honor both your wishes and those of the per- son you are trying to find. They will never betray you or violate a confidence.

Please let me know if you find your son. I'm sure my readers would be very much interested.

Dear Ann Landers: I enjoyed the column you did about how American women are obsessed with their weight, but it mad¢ me wonder if you fully realize how women are being sabotaged by the advertising establishment that tells us we are nothing unless our bodies are perfect.

We are living in a society in which women are being brain- washed to feel imperfect. And why? Betause, as you said, it's a

money. As you might there is now a considerable ramount involved and I want my ‘son to have these bonds, even ‘though I haven't seen him since

‘She was a baby and don't know

‘where he is. Last I heard, Cliff was living n Grayslake, Ill.. I presume teve knows about me, but I lon't know what. he's been told

“and I don't want to disrupt his

life. Is there some agency that might be able to help me? The Treasury Department said if I send the bonds to them, they will hold them should Steve inquire. How could he inquire when he doesn't know anything about

POLLAINE E. EMDE 1480 Lore rag te "ASTLEGAR,

Res 365-3253

Grand

Americans spend $33 billion a year on the diet industry. Women have cho- sen to place i on their weight and looks because they have been taught that if they look better, they will be more lovable and have more fun.

I was bulimic. After seeing a very good counselor, I realized that I'd chosen to give an insane amount of power to those extra 10 pounds on my body. I know now that my life and my prob- lems are the same whether I'm 10 pounds overweight or 10 pounds underweight.

I bought into the myth that said my life would be better if I

ighed less, and I purchased all

to my readers.

Dear Ann Landers: I work as a secretary in a busy public ser- vice agency. One of my duties is to answer all phone calls and deal with the public. We have nine professional men in our office. The problem is their wives. Some of these women call several times a day. We try to answer all phone calls by the third ring. Can you imagine how annoying it is to be tied up on a line, with a customer waiting at the window, and then get another caller who asks, "Is Honeybuns there?”

These wives call to tell Daddy

that Junior hit Sissy, or they can't decide what to make for supper. Often their husbands are busy and it's very disruptive to have to listen to such drivel. If the hus- band doesn't return his wife's call within 10 minutes, she calls back wanting to know if Honeybuns” was given the message and if so, why he hasn't returned her call. She also wants to know how much longer his meeting will last. The one I hate the most is, “Why didn't you INSIST that he return my call before he left the office?"

Here's a message for wives of working men: Your has

hadn't had a date in 10 years, I had to respond.

Women aren't exactly saints when it comes to looking for a man. If you need proof, just read the “personals” published in the paper. I am really turned off by what females consider important qualifications for a suitable male companion.

The first thing they mention is looks. They want someone who is tall and ~~attractive.“ While some men may be interested in a trophy to hang on their arm, most men like myself want someone to love and to be loved in return. In the 10 years since my divorce, I haven't been able to estab! a relationship. No one is willing to make a commitment. All the women I meet want to, be

“friends.”

I'm a caring, affectionate man, honest and hard-working. I'm not rich but I live While

is depressed or not “feeling well” and misses Nora terribly. All this pressure has made our daughter a wreck.

This evening Keith's mother came to our home and asked to see Nora alone. They visited for an hour. When she left, Nora was in tears. It seems Keith has developed a skin rash. The doc- tor says it's “emotional.~ The woman told Nora it is her fault and she is morally obligated to go back to him “before he does something awful to himself."

Nora is beside herself. I am furious. My husband is fit to be tied. What should be done? -- On the Spot in N.J.

Dear O.T.S.: A 17-year-old is no match for this aggressive woman. Invite her over and tell her in Nora's presence that you are sorry Keith is ill but Nora is not to be used as a drugstore pre- scription to cure her son's skin

good looks are a bonus, I am pri- marily interested in intelligence. I am not threatened by a brainy female.

It makes you wonder what kind of world we live in when men who beat up on their girl- friends seem to get women who continue to love them, while the decent men like me get nowhere. -- Miami

Dear Miami: You sound like such a thoughtful, solid, decent man it makes me a bit sorry that I have an iron-clad rule against putting my readers in touch with one another.

Don't despair. Continue to go to resp ble places and keep

a job to do. He is ‘under a lot of He needs to concentrate

the diet “products.” Well, I choose differently now. I hope that the millions of women with eating disorders start to realize that they do have a choice. -- C.C., Littleton, Colo.

Dear Littleton: You've written one of the most sensible letters on the subject of weight that I have read in a very long time. Thank you for this wonderfully sane and convincing contribution

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on his work. He can't handle your marital, family or plumbing problems over the phone. Please save these conversations for after 5:00 p.m. -- Cranky in California Dear Cranky: Every husband who has a wife with "telephoni- tis” will bless you for writing that letter. I wonder how many office bulletin boards this column will appear on next Monday morning. Thanks for scoring a bull's eye.

Dear Ann Landers: reading the letters in-your ans umn from the 35- year-old woman in Oakland and the beau- tiful 30-year-old attorney who

your eyes open. She is out there somewhere. It'll happen one of these days. I promise.

Dear Ann Landers: Our 17- year-old, "Nora," is a high school senior. She went steady for seven months with "Keith," also a senior.

Three weeks ago, Nora decid- ed she wanted to go out with oth- ers so she broke it off with Keith, making it clear she'd date him from time to time, but not exclu- sively.

Keith's mother is determined to "patch things up.” She imme- diately wrote Nora a‘ long letter and sent her a beautiful sweater. She phones daily to report Keith

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Explain that Keith's rash is not the result of Nora's rejection of him but rather his inability to accept the realities of the situa- tion. Let her know that Keith must learn how to cope with dis- appointment and frustration because he is bound to be faced with it time and time again in the future. The boy needs therapy, not a mother who runs interfer- ence for him.

Assure Nora, privately, that she is not responsible for Keith's problems and she must not allow his mother to make her feel guilty -- no matter what.

Dear Ann Landers: A woman wrote you to ask whether her sister-in-law was wacky because she wrapped the in newspaper and tied it with a ribbon, sometimes “fussing with the bow for five minutes." You told her to relax with the knowl- edge that her sister-in-law had the most beautiful garbage in town.

You could be wrong. If that letter came from Chicago her sis- ter-in-law has stiff competition. My wife wraps her garbage in 9in paper left~ over from holi- days. She also saves boxes and ribbons and especially enjoys surprising the trash collector with

fancy "packages" from Marshall »

Field & Co. Any comment? -- W.C.R. Dear W.C.R.: No. I just wish I had some of that woman's spare time.

Dear Ann Landers: My par-

ents were divorced three years ago. It was a bitter parting and

= Hogstead

the wounds have not healed.

Their only grandson will be 5 years old next month and I am having a birthday party for him. Mother says she won't come if I invite her ex-husband. Dad is crazy about the boy and I don't feel it would be fair to exclude him. What should I do? -- Split Head

Dear Head: Landers’ law: If a person says, I won't come if you invite So- and-so" — that person should be told, "Sorry, we'll miss you.”

Inform your mother that she can come after the party, enjoy some birthday cake and ice cream and have the boy all to herself.

Dear Ann Landers: 1'11 bet you've never received a letter from a dog before. Well, there's always a first. This is a message from an adorable. mutt who lives next door to me. I understand dog language and wrote this down for him and promised to mail it to his master. I made an extra copy for you, Ann. I hope you will print it.

"Dear Folks: Well, you're off again and it's only 7 am. Will it be 10:00 or 11:00 tonight when you return? Thanks for leaving me some food, but it's too cold to eat out here. Well, 1 guess now that I've knocked over my water 1'11 chew on the porch for a while.

“That nice man next door will be over here pretty soon to give me some fresh water. I'm always glad to see him because he talks to me. Gee, I'm lonesome.

"I can't figure out why you people got m¢. I have never seen what the house looks like -- except the kitchen, late at night for a few hours. Please, will you let me eat a meal inside once in a while? _

"I'm only 6 months old. I know I've grown a lot since I was a puppy and I'm not as cute as I used: to be, but please don't greet me with, 'Bad dog,’ just because I chew open the plastic garbage bags. I have to do SOMETHING while I'm tied up here for 12 or 14 hours.

“Here comes that nice lady walking her dog. Boy, is HE a lucky hound. I wish someone would take ME for a walk. Well - - I guess 1'11 chew on the porch for a-while." -- Your Sad Mutt

Dear Mutt: Write again when you get to eat inside and see what the rest of the house looks like. Your letter would melt a heart of

stone. Prd

news:of-¢he

current compilation of the most things people do, edited by Chuck Shepherd. j Proof that true Stories are weirder than made-up stories.

-- St. Louis was plagued this winter by an early-moming jogger who threw girls down to the ground on their way to school and suckecl their toes.

NAMES FROM HELL

— The 50-year-old man, charged in West Haven, Conn., in March with having offered to pay a Yale University female student's tuition (totaling $26,000) if she would spank him, is named Alexander Bizzario. (He had lured her to his home to fill out grant applications but told police later that he had no grant authority.)

— Prosecutors in Waverly, Tenn., attempting in Noyember to build murder cases against two prison escapees, changed their minds and decided not to call to the stand the prison barber, an informant who would testify against the two Weighing against the barber's credi- bility: (1) He's in the slammer him- self for 1,964 years; and (2) His name is Ugga de Boogidie

-- James Dogg, 42, was charged with assault in Mandan, N.D., in May for beating up his girlfriend's mother, 86-year-old Regina Lafromboise, who had been joking about Dogg's name and making barking sounds.

CREME DE LA WEIRD

HOROSCOPES

Aug 30-Sept 5

ARIES - March 21/April 20 Watch your finances very carefully this week. You're going to be rather enthusiastic about something new. It's a good time to listen to the advice of people who are more experienced that yourself. Any new project which requjres a financial investment should be considered very carefully TAURUS — April 21/May 21 You will probably find that rela tions with your close colleagues become rather strained in the next day or two. It's mainly because of your stubborn attitude, so try to be fa little more flexible. Thursday and Friday will be two exceptionally enjoyable days! GEMINI - May 22/June 21 Romance should be looking rosier for you now than it has for some time! It will happen when you least expect it, so don't look for it. Money should be more plentiful (but you'll need to avoid impulse buys). A sur prise encounter with a stranger will make your week more interesting CANCER - June 22/July 22 If you keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, it should be a great week for you! One thing is certain — it won't be dull! And another thing: watch your finances. The temptation to splurge on extravagances could be strong, but it should be restrained. LEO - July 23/August 23 This week, caution in speech and action is advised — not a trait that comes nat- urally to a Leo! Strong abareit influ- ences should guard you against the pos- sibility that you could be particularly accidenf-prone at the end of the week, especially Fi Friday. Overdue cash should come later in the week. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgos have an interesting habit of dropping a pebble into a pool and then disappearing when the ripples start making themselves felt. If this applies to you, you may have to face some repercussions this week Keeping a level head, and being considerate to others will help things run smoothly. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 If anything gets your goat this week it could be your family — with friends coming a close second. Is there anyone else who could upset you? Well, there are co-workers! In other words, it’s a good time to go on vacation! But even~ there, romance could be tricky unless you have patience. Things will seem brighter next week

SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22

A week to keep checking on details if you're traveling. Scorpios at home should find it relatively quiet — a haven even — but the work front could be quite the reverse. You may be caught in the middle of an argu- ment, try to be diplomatic. SAGITTARIUS — Nov 23/Dec 21 A member of your family could lead you to some unexpected expense, just as you find yourself gloating over your recent windfall Sag- ittarians are among the Zodiac's most generous people, so give according to need, but don't be silly about it. The weekend could bring some enjoyable company. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Don't try to force the pace at work or try to get friends to commit them- selves to any arrangements they may seem reluctant about. Blow-ups are in the air just now — tempers could be short — particularly if you are engaged in any legal wrangles. Try to keep a low profile this week. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Put your liferinto neutral this week and coast along until the coast is clear! Misunderstandings at work could be a major source of aggrava- tion. Try not to fly off the handle though, because that just won't help. Romance blossoms this week, as your relationship with someone spe- cial takes a serious turn.

PISCES - Feb 19/March 20 What goes around, comes around. And for you, a good deed you did for someone months ago will pay off doubly! This will make you feel wonderful, and you'll have evidence that your idealistic approach to the world isn't such a negative thing after all! A shopping spree will bring you an object that you will cherish forever. Try not to be foo extrava- gant, though.

YOUR BIRTHDAY THis’ WEEK The next 12 months:

You'll set some long-term goals and pursue them with the intense dili- gence and persistence that most Virgds possess. If anyone knows, you know that hard work does even- tually pay off. Your romantic life has hit many rocky roads in the past few years, but this pattern will soon come to an end. A new, exciting romance will sweep you off your feet sometime this winter, and it could be that lasting, wonderful relationship you've been waiting and hoping for. This will be a year of change and happiness.

Calvin ana Hobbes 4,

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Canadian Quiz-Cross i or enol sad

Agence France Presse in March that Michael Balama, 45, a farmer and father of nine children, has resurfaced, living in a tree in Pankshin, Nigeria, after having dis- two weeks earlier from a

Continued from 5B

a tad different and this is no exception. I KNOW there are things out there for me to do, hopefully that pay wages. This time, I decided (I think) to create my own opportunities ... capital- ize on my natural talents (I’m still deciding on whether I have any or not) and meanwhile I'll take a risk and try something.

That, indeed seems to be the root of indecision. With every step taken, there is always a risk

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and a possible sacrifice. Oh, how many times I've sat on the side- lines and watched as life “hap- pened” all around me, wanting to join in so desperately but afraid to risk FAILURE. That word really should be stricken from the dictionary. Sacrifices are never easy either. I live in endless fear of the “what ifs”. If I make THIS choice and THAT opportunity comes up boy, I'll just DIE.

The problem is, I won't die and will be faced with these deci- sions every day. Procrastination only takes the intuitive juices out of the decisions making process. Whenever I analyze too much I get really confused, frustrated, tired and afraid to move. I have now thought of every negative

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y on this earth. Why, instead can I not trust myself to make a good decision, 50 what if there’s better ones out there. I don’t miss an opportunity to enjoy a day off just because tomorrow might be a better time. My intuition has been crowded out for too long now and it’s time to take some positive steps. Who knows what the “right” direction is, heck, I can barely see through the mist, but here I go .

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nearby tree in which he had been living for five years. He said he wanted to come down but couldn't because “some people are holding me.” Balama's wife said, "What I miss about Michael is that we can no longer make love together and produce more children.” Balama eats food prepared by his wife and neighhors by climbing down to lower branches to retrieve it.

LEAST COMPETENT PERSON

In January, the Arkansas Supreme Court affirmed the rape conviction in Morgan v. State. Morgan had argued for a mistrial because of a bad deci- sion he made at trial: Without the judge's permission, he had shown his unerect penis to the jury — as if that would "prove" that he was therefore incapable of the erection necessary to commit rape.

THE DIMINISHING VALUE OF LIFE

In May, Robert Moore, 75, was found guilty of attempted murder for shooting neighbor Patrick Dial, 38, because Dial’s children were picking daffodils in Moore's yard near

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