Page, 6

The Castlegar Sun

Wednesday, February 5, 1992

Angry taxpayers want answe

6B
Just yesterday, someone said to
me, “Lynn,” (because that’s what I
‘was named at birth), “We, the tax-
payers want an open and honest
‘government. We want to know
where our money is going. Why
don’t you find out for us?” So I
‘put on my Instigative Retorter's

case). It didn't fool me. I'm
inobody’s fool because I'm not
paid enough. e

As I emtered the van, I proceed-
ed southward in an easterly direc-
tion to talk to the Minister of the
Inferior who was busy burning
documgnts. He said he was neat-
ening up the office.

“Mr, Dullwinky,” 1 said, “We,
the tax evaders of our fair country
feel that we have a right to know
where our money's going.” Mr.
Dullwinky looked up, startled.

“Of course,” he said, “Every
citizen has a right to know where
their money goes. But I'm very
busy destroying evidence, as you
can see. Besides, we can’t tell you
anything here. We're sworn to
secrecy. Pretty big swear words
they were, too. And I gotta leave
right away. I'm due to be at a
meeting at the House of

“You could come and visit
another day when I'm not so busy.
And, for heaven sakes, bring
cookies. I'm sure you can find
your way out. Go down the hall,

BREAKFAST - 2 pancakes,

LUNCH

home

2 sausages and 1 egg

3 chicken nuggets
iade fries and salad

ee

1004 Columbia Avenue -

Phone 365-8155

Wile 10)

Schedule for Feb. 5 & 6, 1992

Wed. 6:30 pm, Thurs. 9:00 am
+ West Kootenay Today — A weekly show that looks at local
people events and activities.
Wed. 7:00 pm, Thurs. 9:30 am
+1991 BCSSA Swim Meet - 1st of 4 weeks of coverage from
last August's championships.
Wed. 9:00 pm, Thurs. 11:30 am
+ Sustaining Our Forests— As part of the Intemational
Development Week, host Angela Price.
Wed. 9:30 pm, Thurs. 12:00 am
+ Castlegar City Council — Gavel to gavel coverage.
Sunday, Feb. 9, 1992
+ 6:30 pm - West Kootenay Today — repeat from above.
+ 7:00 pm - Project Discovery (part 10) - the last of the series.
* 7:30 pm.-.1991 USCC youth Festival - 1st of 10 part series.
* 830'pm - 1991 BCSSA Swim Meet - see above schedule.
* 10:30 pm - Sustaining Our Forests - see above schedule.

turn right, walk six paces pat
Venus,d"Milo’s office, turn left,
walk four paces, make a face in
the mirror, walk two
paces and leave by the
door marked Bxit-
Cliff Ahead. Drop
over anytime.”

Ok, so I didn't do
too well with that
department. Next I
went to the trailer

and grilled them exten-
sively about civil liber-
i income

Said the van was there last week but
it was ‘beside the van
of the Russian Embassy (for spying
purposes), but,
unfortunately, they
were both ticketed
and towed away. No
one knows where
either went. Some

rs — any answers

they said we're the wealthiest coun-
try and that, no, T could not apply
for welfare, and they've never

talk to me but they were too offen-
sive, Finally, 1 found one govern-
ment agency that would talk to me
and listen to my concerns. It was
called the Department of Psycho
Analysis and Human Vegetations.
They snuck me in even though

towing , pany
took it and the
address is so top

i expand
ing at a phenomenal rate (We'll
soon reach out and touch i

heard of Lifesavers. They said I
Department

should check with the

by stretching out our arms) and

Leave your number

Dear Ann Landers: This is for
your readers who leave messages
on machines and fail to
leave their phone numbers,

If you are leaving a message of
some urgency, be sure to include
your phone number, even if you
are sure the party has it. You may
have reached the wrong number
and you will never know it.

Last night there was a long and
detailed

ments about his unacceptable
behavior and a request that I call the
school to discuss the problem. The_
caller did not mention the name of
the school and there was no num-
ber, so I was unable to let her know
that she had reached the wrong per-
son. When that mother does not

Antiques
01-11 Ave. Castlegar
(in Tulips Building)
365-5191

D.O.T. was but no one knew. They

Today there was a message
from “Jean” to “Bob,” also with
no number.

Jean was letting Bob know that
the closing date for his house sale
had been changed to tomorrow
and she will see him there. Unfor-
tunately, she will not see him there
because there is no Bob here and I
have no number where I can reach
her. I just hope they figure it out.

So, folks, when you leave a
message on an answering
machine, please leave your num-
ber. If your call is for me, I'll
return it. Even if it is NOT for me,
Tl return it to let you know you
misdialed so you can try again to
reach the right party. — Earnest
But Numberiess

Dear Earnest: It is useful to be
reminded of the slip-ups that can
occur when mechanical devices
are involved. Thanks for a letter
that gives me some fresh insights.
I learned something today.

Dear Ann Landers: We have

Office.

I found the Department of
Defence parked beside de-gate but
they wouldn't talk to me: And the
Department of Offense wanted to

after the

two daughters, five years apart. ~

We did not put aside money for
their college education because we
were pretty well set and didn’t
think it would be necessary. Luck-
ify, we were right.

No. 1 was a good stu-
dent and wanted to continue her
education. We paid her college
tuition and gave her a monthly
stipend.

Danghter No. 2 was not interest-
ed in college. She chose to get
married right after high school. We
gave her a car in her senior year
and paid for a beautiful ing .

Shortly after Daughter No. 2

from her hi

country Cghada is. A country
where citizens can breathe almost-
clean air, enjoy a wonderful sense
of freedom (if they ever let me
out), and eat foods guaranteed to
improve our regularity. I'm so
happy to live in a country of civil
liberties. And it’s only going to get
better. Every day, three out of ten
Canadians drop out of high school
and enter politics.

message

feels we favored her older sister.
My husband has had some bad
business reversals these last few
years, and we don't have as much
in reserve as we once did.

What do you think, Ann? Were
we unfair in the way we treated
our two daughters? We need an
outside opinion and value yours.
— Nameless in the U.S.

Dear Nameless: No, you were
not unfair. Parents don't owe their
children a college education, even
if they can afford it. The same
goes for a fancy weddi ng .

Since money is now tighter and
you aren't getting any younger, I

rT y she
asked for the same amount of
money we had spent on her sis-
ter’s ion. My h told

4 that you save your
resources for the future. If your
daughters are considerate and
this is what they would

her he would have sent her to col-
lege had she chosen to g0, but we
could not give her that much
mone;

ry.
I've felt bad about this for a
long time because I'm afraid she

want you to do.

Gem of the Day: Don't meet
trouble halfway. Let it travel the
full distance.

Something usually happens to it
before it arrives.

News of the weird 5) cc shecer

+ A 30-year-old woman in Liv-
ingston, Mont.. and her 34-year-
old boyfriend. Ronald Smith.
decided not to contest rape and
child abuse charge§ involving the
woman's |2-year- old daughter.
The daughter gave birth in
November to the boyfriend's
baby, but accounts of the circum-
stances of conception were con-
flicting: First, Smith said the
daughter was the aggressor and
took advantage of him. Then,
investigators surmised that the
woman, infertile, had arranged
for her daughter to bear the baby
she could not.

Then, the woman said she
feared the boyfriend would leave
her and so arranged for a baby to

encourage him to stay.

Smith and the woman
appeared on the “Sally Jessy
Raphacl” TV show, where Smith
denied his fatherhood. When con-
fronted with evidence of a blood
test that showed 99.87 percent
probability that he was the father,
Smilth shot back, “That's the only
Proof you've got.”

LATEST TESTOSTERONE
SURGES

+ In June, a 41-year-old female
patient in Kansas City accused
her gynecologist, Dr. Frank E.
Baum, of having hypnotized her
so that she would have “tele-
Phone sex” with him. She said
that she went to him with a pain

in her side and that he later left a
series of phone messages saying,
“You are going to become depen-
dent on me. I want you to let me
use your mind, let me use your
body.” Baum said the messages
were meant to be “relaxation
therapy” for her and that, even
though he had discussed her sex-
ual fantasies with her, he “didn't
enjoy it. It was very boring.” He
also admitted to talking dirty to
her in his office while she mas-
turbated.

+ Hugo Roberts, 48, a New
York City health therapist, was
arrested in May after a 28-year-
old woman complained that he
had fondled her when she sent to
him for nutritional advice.
According to her, Roberts said

Auntle Linda,
From Ben, Jenny & Ken

Love, Rick & Teresa

Max, Happy Birthday,
From Uncle Geoff

HAPPY
BIRTHDAY

®2-

THIS WEEK'S WINNER IS INDICATED BY LOGO

Feb.7 Max, 2 yrs, Huge & Kisses,
Grampa

Gramma &

Max, Happy Birthday,

Great Grampa Cheveldave
Max, 2 yre, Happy Birthday
Love, Mommy, Daddy & Rodney
Cody Fridel, Happy Sth,
From Gramma & Papa

1.1. Fridel, Happy 4th,
From Gramma & Papa
Geott Totter,

From Jeannie & Keith

Geott Tellier,

From, Mom, Dad Taranoff

his technique for determining
whether she was eating too much
Sugar or salt was to taste different
Parts of her body.

+ In a videotape discovered last
June, former Colorado Rep.
David Bath, a “born-again”
Christian who projected a tough,

istic image during his three
terms, was seen having sex with a
woman, two men and a reported-
ly underage boy. (Colorado news-
Papers widely reported that, at
Bath’s 1988 campaign Press con-
ferences, his manager Albert
Tecci would have to give Bath
hand signals on what to Say and
would routinely interrupt Bath
and speak directly to reporters if
Bath said the “wrong” thing.)

* The Arizona Department of
Administration transferred a
supervisor last summer because
he was suspected of being the
one who had rigged a mirror so
that he could look into a women’s
restroom from beside his desk.

+ West Palm Beach, Fla, sher-
iff's deputy David Nereau, 25,
resigned in August after being
accused of improper Policing. He
reportedly stopped female
motorists and demanded to see

Wednesday, February 5, 1992

The Castlegar Sun

Dialogue

BY TONI REINHOLD

PATSY CLINE - My moth-
er recently gave me some of
the old write-ups she had
saved on her favorite singer,
Patsy Cline, who is also one of
my favorites. How did Patsy
Cline get started as a singer? -
HLM., Atlanta

This country great was born
Virginia Patterson Hensley on
Sept. 8, 1932, in Winchester,
Va. She started studying piano
at the age of 8, but she didn’t
start singing until she was a
teen-ager. Her 1957 perfor-
mance on the TV show “Arthur
Godfrey's Talent Scouts” led
to a contract with Decca Re-
cords. Cline’s hits include
“Walkin’ After Midnight,” “I
Fall to Pieces,” “She’s Got
You” and “Crazy” (which was
written by a young singer-
songwriter named Willie Nel-

SOT, Gi March 5, 1963, while
on her way home from a bene-
fit concert, Cline died in a
plane crash in Camden, Tenn.
She was 30 years old. Cline
was elected to the Country
Music Hall of Fame in 1973.

You may be interested in
viewing “Sweet Dreams,” a
1985 film dramatization of
Cline’s life in which Jessica
Lange stars as the singer. It is
available on video.

ENDLESS TREK - Is it true
that the sixth “Star Trek” film
is going to be the last one
made with members from the
original crew? - B.D., Pros-
pect Harbor, Maine

“Star Trek VI: The Undis-
covered Country” was sup-
posed to be the last voyage for
the original crew of the star-
ship Enterprise. However,
Trekkies and the latest gener-
ation of new fans have turned
out for this movie in such num-

HOROSCOPES

February 9-15

ARIES - March 21/April 20
If you are about to move into a new
house or apartment, this could be the
right time for it. The ideas you have
now about interior decorations will
be blessed with success. Don't panic
if you hear some bad news mid week
— your emotional equilibrium will
see you through, despite the anxiety.
TAURUS - April 21/May 21
You may get great pleasure this
week in making new friends at work,
and your personality could make the
week enjoyable for them as well. It
is your nature to make close friends,
stars are focused heavily on
this right now. You could-find your-
self having to deal with a trouble-
some infant by yourself one evening
this week,
GEMINI - May 22/June 21
Matters of the heart seem to be
focused on this week, and you may
find that there are opportunities for
giving affection and friendship
which will be returned. Make sure
that you do not rebuff the offer by
taking it too lightly, as it may be
very tentative.
CANCER - June 22/July 22
There are a number of factors which
will help you in your more serious
moments as you're searching for a
key to your career problems, specifi-
cally towards the end of this week
Try to find time for some parties
where you will have access to influ-
ential people who may prove to be
helpful in the future.
LEO - July 23/August 23
You might find yourself involved in
worthy, charitable work this week. If
you find the work too difficult to
handle on your own, it may be a
good idea to enlist the help of others.
VIRGO — Aug 24/Sept 22
Problems at home concern you to
such an extent that your performance
at work is beginning to suffer.
Luckily, this should be only a pass-
ing phase. Nevertheless, it ought to
be kept in mind that your standing
and reputation at work is being
reviewed,
LIBRA — Sept 23/Oct 23
A friend's advice and helpful sug-
gestions may help you to reorganize
some aspects of your home or travel

routine to your advantage; take some
time to consider how best to repay
this kindness. Adventure and excite-
ment late in the week could prove to
be quite expensive

SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22
The weekend is one of the best for
romantic affairs! Now is the time to
look for progress towards deepening
a loving relationship — you may be
approaching a permanent situation.
The stars indicate that there may be
trouble brewing at work, so be on
your guard.

SAGITTARIUS — Nov 23/Dec 21
An unexpected chance to buy some-
thing you've always wanted could
come your way towards the end of
the week, but you find yourself tem-
porarily short of cash. A little cre-
ative juggling of your finances
should help.

CAPRICORN -— Dec 22/Jan 20
You could be asked out for an
evening over the weekend and find
yourself pleasantly surprised at the
company. Work projects slow down.
On the whole, the week's a buoyant
time in domestic and social matters.
AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18
A natural inclination to search for
new pastures may well conflict with
your domestic duties this week but,
if you can come to terms with your
restlessness, then cooperation in a
family project could result in some-
thing wonderful for the future.
PISCES - Feb 19/March 20
It may surprise you to be asked to
act as a referee or arbitrator in some
sport this weekend, and you could
find that your popularity won't be
enhanced by the fact that you're
called upon to make some decisions
which could prove controversial
Right now, finances are up and
down.

YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK
The next 12 months:
This year will be a very productive
one if you stay focused. You really
don't need to socialize every night:
Start working on those projects
you've been putting off. A long-time
problem will finally be resolved, and
will open many doors. A new rela-
tionship will form this spring; it could
be one that will last a lifetime!

PERMS

$ 30

Elizabeth looks forward
to being of service
to you

MONDAY TO SATURDAY
8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m.

&
fey
En ralr studio &
Consignments

1703 2nd Ave. + 364-2600

Did You Know That...

More than 40% of Cana-
dian female homocide
victims are killed within
a family context. In
1988, 97 Canadian
women were killed in
domestic disputes.

bers that insiders have started
talking about the possibility
that yet another sequel may be
filmed. There is also specula-
tion that the continuing inter-
est might lead to a.spinoff TV
series, which might be a pre-
quel to the current popular
syndicated’ series “Star Trek
The Next Generation.” But

none of been

confirmed.

RONSTADT’S ROOTS -
How old is Linda Ronstadt? Is
it true that she is Spanish? She
doesn’t look it. - J.C., Honolulu

Singer Linda Ronstadt, who
is 45 years old, is of half-Mexi-
can, half-German ancestry.

this has

Canadian Quiz-Cross
by Maureen Azimov

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LET'S GO, CALYIN, TIME
FOR YOUR BATH P

WHAT'S. TM
TEACHER
HANDING OUT?

BABY BLUES

Calvin and Hobbes

WELL IF YOU SEE CALNIN
ANYWHERE, TEL WIM ITS
ALMOST TIME FOR DINNER

1M NOT TAKING BATHS
ANYMORE

1 WATE THEM

YOU KNOW
QUR GRAS

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I'D WNWTE 200, BUT NO
DINOSAURS,
ARE ALLOWED /

AL IME
[ baw r |

Ais a ; /

OW? AND HOW ARE You
GING TO STAY CLEAN?

GRADES? | OF COURSE.
WERE BEING | DUMMY. WHAT
GRADED? | DID You THINK?

I NEVER THOUGHT HAVING )/
A BABY WOULD BE So
DIFFICULT

[7 BELIEVE ME, | WOULDN'T
SELL YOU NICE FOLKS AN

THE RESPONSIBILITY THE
EXPENSE. THE DISRUPTION.
THE CHADS...THE LACK OF
SLEEP. SOMETIMES I WONDER|

\F T CAN HANDLE IT!

FEE

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(1 WOULDN'T STEER YOU

WRONG. I’M AN HONEST
Ves. \'M SURE...

I'M MAKING
SURE NO ONE’S
LUSTENING
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their breasts, claiming to be after
a woman with a distinctive breast
tattoo who had just robbed a

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Castlegar Women’s Association

365-2104

|

RBREBSE
i
i

Mon., Tues., Wed. & Sat.:
9:30 a.m.’- 5:30 p.m.

. & Pri:
9:30 a.m. - 9:00 p.m.

Ff
ada f
a

1150 Lakeside Drive
354-4496

| | |
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Please Your

Valentine
Order A Deli
Dairy Queen
Valentine’s Cake.

tous

5

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