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He was &L ive I was Taaid. “Ask a stewardess said, : le kept coming up to pl ' me and giving me little bottles . filled with fear-killer. I guess they'wanted the experiment to Me and the champ. talked. work. Or me to shut up. “Hiya.” “Joe Louis would have torn ‘your head off.” I shouted: “I need a drink!” ‘The plane hita bump in the -We didn’t talk any more. air and it vibrated. “You're right,” ‘All to bounce me on his khee.”" G00." .. MBe0?” ‘ :"Even the. little baby isn't’ scared,” Peo bouncing a baby—his, "'told—on .his knee and saying "Goo my, try." are the CasNews _ telenews ‘aid are removeable to Ciccone said. “I'll bet. ‘There is not enough booze: “T'm flying back to Chicago “Get’ drunk,” ‘said. Dick man, _Liccone, a Chicago.reporter. in tonight,” you can do it if you fears, 80 we could begin being nasty to Jimmy Carter. someone said, “You ride trains?” By Mike Royko’ * . Chicago Dally News . I took part in a significant scientific experiment the other evening, Time flew, as it does in bars, and I looked at my watch and-eursed. I’ had missed my It began in a train to Chicago, ’ “bar, where a few reporters “Train?” were celebrating the end of the , I'm used to that. Yes, I ride trains. I love the bumpy ride, the dirty windows, the erratic schedules, the faulty air-condi- tioning. I cannot resist a bet. “Waiter,” I said, “A double martini.” Actually, I hate trains, But 'm terrified of airplanes, Char- What pal.” Charlie is president of the company that owns my news- “Biya, or the hell are you doin’ here, I know how to through this tunnel and I'was | make an’ impression on the When his face came into son: of agun, sitting down in this long, large _ boss. Then this guy came down the aisle, apparently curious as to the source of the bedlam. * “focua, I bellowed: But about three hours. lie, you ol later, we were lurching in and From this point on, I'm - fuzzy on details. Then we were walking paper. Boy, do ‘The scientific experiment had begun. out of this cab. Then somebody , Charlie? Have a drink, ‘a plece of paper, , took my credit card and handed I explained = ™e e heard them proudly, is so powerful that it Tve all. Hypnotism. Tranquillizers. “You don't fly?” someone Therapy. Religion. asked, Everybody started making Sure I fly. I flew as re- cently as 1968. That was only 2A years ago. My terror, tr “= See Answer on Classified Page 9 tar Robert Preaidential nickna 322882 RSARERR ‘32. CPAconcem (aborev.) Suddenly the plane began losing altitude. { In a moment we were on fe've had it!” I cried. the ground, “One more drink!” “Is this Pittsburg?” I said. “It's Chicago,” the Stew- ardess said. Amazing. It was faster than a ride on the Milwaukee “We're landing,” an elderly Avenue bus, Tyelled, and lady said. “Hush.” But it was too “Is this. the ‘waiting lounge?” I recall asking. Ciccone laughed. “This is the inside of the airplane.” I began babbling about my civil rights being abused when this pretty lady leaned over me “I can't do it,” turned to run, late. They had closed the door. room with lots of other people. and said something. I don't remember, what she said, but you'll have cirrhosis of the liver. now that a showcase for intelligent shopping. “T'll never forget this ride,” T yelled. As we left the plane, the pilot.stood near the door. I ‘The stewardess was there, too. “Want to run away to Aca- puleo?” I said. She didn't look So the experiment worked. And. for all my fellow non- fliers—and there are millions of Sure. In another 24 years. ‘That.will be the year 2001. I'll get smashed and go to the “Nobody else will, either,” thrilled either. Will I'do it again, tweaked his cheek and ‘said: Tve done it once? “Good job, o!' buddy.” He didn't look thrilled by my praise. us—it isn’t all that hard, The only problem I can see is that after five or six flights, ‘Give yourself a chance to * Setkirk Lions °~ July 29, Augu: ‘To order yous tickets, mail this coupon to: * July 15, ~ LUCKY LEO LOTTERY: ° November 25. ppled ri children a chance. ‘This is the lottery that Rives leo the lults hem iment centres, d workshops and. -. social activities. Help kee; “inal "} iy el Proceeds to the British Columbia Lions Society for Crippled Children f y rely on the you hi ses to gett of BC. (And help led children and a .p those buses rolling also lets ‘in BC. who reall; joo), trea parts ri: ry ber 2, September 16, September 30, October 14, October 28. Final Dra Early Bird Draws Give c Easter Seal bus or * other pi Lotte: disabl toschi sheltere metal coffins that are propelled at the speed -time passenger was. a- Word spread quickly. be- cause I was howling about how terrified 1 was. People decided But she was just buckling Word spread quickly that a my seat belt. “How do you get a drink in _ this joint?” I bellowed. T considered punching him out. But by then the engines were roaring and the damn thing was moying. This time, I tried closing my eyes and thinking of it as a “Oh boy,” moaned a guy on huge ‘hip-flask. I felt better. the other side of the aisle. At first I thought she was “We've got one of those.” trying to take'off my jacket. 1 didn't know what she had in mind, but I was all for it, and _ said some smart alec. » T've always thought of air- of sound, several miles above. the earth. The thought always she had freckles and nice teeth. makes me sick. offered to remove my shirt. planes as large, board. first. y, TY 10. "s middle name? starred in ‘The Loner’? What movie brou Oscar? ce"? Who's ‘is the voice of the robot in ‘Lost in 10 What is Fonzie 3. Whe 1. 2. ight Jack Lemmon’s Best Actor jer in ‘Bachelor Father’? 4. 5. 6. ‘Mr. ? rof in the y yed Oebble’s husband In ‘The Debbie in ‘21 Beacon ‘ i play in Aenu09 WIL sUSNQIEIA{O SPoy, SIVOTHOd 9 GIOISid, : euodeg su0qNIM CHepewog se8pug péor) pI fa} Ing’ mes yivester Stallone and ‘Ben Case; ying * JBL SUL Ones, ton Square’? ‘girl’ in ie phe ‘There's A Girl leville Brand play on ‘The Un- ‘Flash Gordon’? What western featured Ann Sheridan? What movie featured S; . Henry Winkler? T.V.'s rod with Joana Ba ed the orderly on 13. Who atarr id Gin; rt did Ni Played lays 12.. Who starred as the baseball- Pla; pl nolds Show’? What character did Marlon Lorne Peepers’? Who starred in ‘Washin touchables'? UMBH 8110 : “0% Until Ba? 17, Who was Jack Paar’s announcer in his recent Who player What x comeback? tn My Soup’? Re: 16. Who layed the blind woman In the movie ‘Wait Who was the star of ‘Rango'? 10.. Who 11. Who . Who was the uetiow sjuueg Street’? 14. What female starred in the series ‘Will movie ‘It 18. 19. 20. } 48. Who for 10 Years : : Life Expectancy Now Same as Non- Sto; . “In women, whose cigar- The report continues: ette consumption has been rising rapidly in the past 30 years, lung cancer mortality sumption reached a plateau 20 cigarettes 10 years ago, your years ago,” the CDC said. life expectancy rate equals that If you stopped smoking of persons who never smoked, the U.S, Centre for Disease Control ‘said. “Mortality rates from lung cancer are 10 times greater in smokers than in persons who “This indicates that wide- spread cessation. of smoking: Although the use of filter tips and low-tar content cigar- ettes was shown to reduce slightly the risk of developing lung cancer, the risk still is than in non-smokers, the report says. The report al: the increased risk of heart While pipe and cigar smok- ers are not considered to have as high a risk of lung cancer disease among smokers. because the smoke is not normally inhaled, the CDC would rapidly reduce lung greater K that for persons who never cancer mortality.” have never smoked. Cessation smoked. of smoking reduces this differ- ential gradually so that after 10 years, the mortality rate for continues to rise at an increas- these ing rate. “Look. who is aboard,” someone said, leading me down the aisle. pur Ae S]UUGC XIN PUEIIOH ARIS report noted that “pipe and cigar smokers have elevated She has five young women working for her who are on call as bartenders to cater - I looked: It was Muham- Exclusive Female Bar Service first all-female company of its kind in the city. ‘sity of ‘Toronto in the fall and) Dorothy Ann thinks it is the To finance these endeav- ors, Dorothy Ann has just be- STOMSUL hopes one day to become. a teacher. Dorothy Ann :Davies of But she is possibly the first to do it this way: by. mixing a mean martini. Toronto isn't the first woman to work her way through college, and she won't be the last. come founder and president of her own company called Bottoms Up. to 8 private parties, conventions, meetings or benefits. t, but then she's been working at a Toronto restaurant eve- nings while she goes to school during the daytime. Dorothy Ann took a course at the Toronto Bartenders’ Training School last summer to obtain the skills to help work The course cost her $250 | her way through college. and:a_ two-month effort since It is'a bartending service employing women only, and at the age of, Dorothy Ann, 23, begins her second year studying literature at Univer- risk of developing cancer of the _ oral cavity, pharynx, larynx and esophagus when compared to non-smokers.” 821 - 16th Ave., Genelle hha- sized a need to control cigarette there is a levelling-off of mortality. rates among men under 60 years of. 000 of the age, for whom cigarette con- ,000 lung cancer Crawter (CRANBROOK) ETD. +. The Bulldozer People Genuine ITM Undercarriage, Rollers, Tracks, Sprockets, Smoking is believed re- “In some countries, such as “Cat-Am: The CDC published statis- the United Kingdom and the ties and reaffirmed a statement The ‘CDC said the: WHO report states that the increase in lung cancer mortality in those countries where, cigar- deaths in the U.S. last year, the CDC said. of the World Health Organiza- ette smoking has been wide- spread continues without inter- sponsible for 68, estimated 84, tion in Geneva which emp! for health reasons. ruption. United States, smoking in track +A complete Service”? ‘Models. Bullgears, Pinions, “Engine Parts, etc. New and press and rebuilding. Carner bits, ‘cutting edges, etc. * ALSO aa “SYOUR BOBCAT DEALER" : ete, Equipment overhauls. (New and used parts for ‘all ‘used attachments, She is'making an average $200 a week for: four nights’ work. eww ‘ to School SALE When you plan your shopping @ Stores will offer sidewalk shop- Company Lid. Call Dennis or _ George Collect 352-3215 229-5414 © Parking Areas | © Driveways “© Tennis Courts, etc. - Vintage Paving For Free Estimates Now through August 14th on Wednesday and Thursday next week, @ Square dancing demonstration ping and be open until 9 p.m. Wednesday night, August 10 from 7 to 9 p.m. in the parking area. rail “Shop the easy convenience of Fairwood.” You can take care of all your back GlentT to school needs with one stop. At Fairwood the parking is easy and wood, your first shopping stop. the pace is relaxed. trip to Spokane, remember Fair- and Steekery, Camatzy Street Cicero's Pizza Ste ey LOS ENON GS A ETT ee,