$

+ CASTLEGAR NEWS, Thursday, Tune 16, 1977

LL LLL LLL DDL PLE L LLL

Goat Was Surprise
~ Guest For Dinner

Emily:Hamm came home any plants that din 5 0.
recently and found a goat “I see that goat all the
eating her living room couch. time, HoJoves my garbage. But ©
-She called police. Tm scared of goats, I didn't

“I walked in and saw him know the goat would be. friend-
on my couch, munching on the a”

Sansevieria,” she sald. “He ate’
my artillery fern, Chinese ever-
green, and he dearly loved the’
“Mada; ;

Cie neo

TOIITIIIL ILE ELLIE

; Dear Ann Landers: A. writer complained that her teenagers
refused to visit their grandmother. You suggested thoy n make the
ivi ts a history’ lon—to interview thelr nd make
- tapes to record “living history”.
\) That wan: ‘a terrific answer, It should be implemented asa high
/, school Project all over the country... Ia Alex

Phone Phantom
Locks. Victims
Inside-Booths

usd miy:parents listened to their grandparents, Thada
"first-hand account rot’ the Civil War, fe in the Western territories
;and life in an Indian missionary station. Because’ my father’s
Grandparents Ustened to their parents and grandparents, my
ate ly has a living link ith the American Revolution. At 90, my
ther is a
iH ‘When I taught junior high students, I.urged them, especially

gascar palm,
“He ate my couch and went’
all over the rug.”
Officer 8, R. Andrews,

admitting he was no expert on’ - :

goats, was dispatched to save. A mysterious “phone box

the woman from the intruder. Phantom”. is getting hls re-
“I don't know what kind it) Ve0ge on long-winded people

is. It’s. full-grown goat and you, .Who keep him waiting outside

‘can juat lead it around. I staked telephone boxes—he locks them.

ft out in the back yard till her !n- :

neighbors can come get it.” ~ Engineers in Duisburg, -
The woman called the West Germany, had to release

neighbor who owns the goat. 12 persons in one week. Police
“They're going to shampoo . said the man epparently has

my rug,” she said, “and replace .. ;acquired a master key.

‘STE | CANADA GRADE Ib.
those who descended from turn-of-the-century immigrant families,
: totalk with thelr elderly relatives. What a rich resource they had, * i OF B FE ’ :
"and what tremendous contributions’ their families made to this ; j : EE ! t
1, countryl Sad to say, many of these children looked on their aged MATURE GRAIN FED BEEF ‘ :
S relatives with contempt. (Our culture could certainly k learn from $ 7. e - (CANADA GRADE .2.......0..cceevee Ib, ?

Tittle ‘John : FEATURES.
Discount

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- PLUS’:

“Teachers salt promote .the ‘Wdea-and

3 4 22-year-old sue a uel poten It
began when I; wasi15 pounds overweight ans to: diet.
} T atarted we forcing myself to vomit if I ate something that

‘made me feel guilty. That was a year ago, Now I gorge myself until
 dothing fattening is left in the house. Then, I force myself to vomit.

y do this about four times'a day and can't atop.

laughed and said,“ Will you teach me that trick? It sounds neat!”

Dear Gal: And you are sick. Very. You need counseling and

medical advice at once. Go to your family doctor before you ruin

your insides,

i fy * ay °

Dear Ann Landers: Our’ daughter, age 20, has left home to live

qith an attractive man, age 28. Her mother and I have tried to

spt the situation although we do not approve of couples living

together without benefit of clergy.

|, | We were wondering how a bachelor managed to own auch a
large h home. It now turns out that he is married—and trying to get
adivorce. He says he intends to marry our daughter as soon as he

is free. Surface indications are that he is sincere. ;

‘weekend with them. Should we accept? We don't want to alienate

our daughter but I can't help but remember that a few yeara ago I
would have pursued this man with a shotgun. Now—to be a guest

x in bis home?

“.< Hurry your answer, Ann. Weare waiting.

aa j At Couple of Squares ©

:

{

I Father: Move over and make room for a third square.

fy gel your daughter and her friend you are not sitting in
yf: judgment of their lifestyle, but you would prefer to wait until they
‘marry before you visit their home. Until then you'd be
it uncomfortable.
{$

H

4 UI told my best friend who has a minor weight problem. She .
God only knows het 2tit's doing tomy insides! How-can I stop?
Sick Gal |

Question: They have invited us to come and spend the -

Great.
feelings

Bill Smiley

+ One of the deepest satis-
factions in writing a column
of this kind is the knowledge
that you are getting into print
the angers and frustrations of
a lot of other people, who
have no reoburse for their
vesentments, and consequent-
ly take them out on the old
man or the old lady.

How do you know’ this?
Well, because people write

you letters cheering you onto ~

further attacks, and other’
people come up to you, per-
fect ‘strangers, shake hands
warmly, and say “By the
Holy Ole Sumpint Bill you
really’ hit the nail on the
head."*

This can be a lise dis-
converting, as you are never

quite sure which nail they are”
referring to. If the congratu- .

lator is a woman, I smile
weakly &nd ae pth

viding oer TV for everyone
on the tak

Fair ae for the hard-
hitter are: garage mechanics,
plumbers, postal workers,
supermarkets, civil servants,
and politicians. Most of them
can’t hit back, and everybody

Liey and their eres

oes are a few 8 areas that’
veven the) hardest-hitters
avoid. When have you, lately,

read a savage attack on greedy ©:
farmers, callous nurses, or *

untoving mothers?-

One of hese ays, perhaps,
one of these. hard” hitting
writers will muster ‘enough
guts, after about five bran-
dies, to Iaunch an: all-out
attack on the audacity of
women, ‘thinking they’re_ as’

Bo; fellow

subject: B

though she thought Pang were u

: j last hope..

271s there any, way to Seca baldness? My hair is igotting
{ ious thin and
ly age, ‘and I'm’ afraid I'm going to be, too.

; An ‘answer from you would be greatly by me and

1] just hate to see it go.-My father was completely ay

your assault on male chauvin-
ism fast week, she'll turn on
* you like a snake when she
reads tomorrow's paper, with
the column exposing female

guys who read your column. :

Some |! “iss ls Gaspar, if it is caused by illness or
But usually baldness that come on gradually, and begins
early: age, is hereditary and permanent. :

sheep’ dub. Nothing works—s0 save your money. If
you migh But
ti and doesn't

aways. come out: Satisfactorily.
‘ Some‘ women: think baldies are sexy—so, if you can psych
yourself out and learn to like your shining dome, it would be the
it solution of all. ; f fi

—Got The Blues

Speaking recently toa class
“of potential. writers\in. a
creative writing course, I tried
to pass along the personal
satisfaction one gets from this
type of personal journalism,

1° emphasized the. “‘per-
sonal’. satisfaction because
there's a fot more of that in-
volved than there is of the
other kind, financial satisfac-
tion, Columnists and. free-
lance writers have no. union
working for them, nor any
professional

ee Sa 1 easy toe mL as

stripes.
hab! ‘and.tumble an

_ 1) the government us not pro- >

as
have . doctors, lawyers,
They have. only their.own
talent . and wit . and» per-_
severance - with - which - to

penetrate the thick heads'and >:
> thicker skins: of editors. and

publishers.

But isa great feeling ikea
you ‘vent your wrath, say,
about the rapaciousness of
mechanics, and you ‘are
button-holed six times in the
next three days by people with

horror stories about ‘mech- *
anics you. can.. 'scarecely

believe, 2
. Trouble is, they all want
,you to write another column
“about mechanics, ‘and but.

"7 some real meat into it. This
- Means,’ in effect, that they -

‘would happily stand in’ the -
wings and applaud when you.
were sued for libel * =
Some readers would ‘like
you tobeconstantly attacking
«whatever it is :

J aghast. when you refuse: to
‘launch an assault on capital:
; gains taxes. Welfarist, friends

“think you are a traitorand a

fink. when you’ won't, attack

they-don’t: 's
© like. Capitalist “friends * are

a public watchdog, or any of- e

those obnoxious creatures

who try to’ tell other’ people z

"ation ‘of, selfaceking poll

ticians who will twist and
warp and wriggle and squirm

and bribe for ‘self-perpetua- -

tion in office. Best example at
the moment, is the Tory
government in’ Ontario,
which has called a totally un-
1 Necessary election in © that.
province through’ sheer
hunger for greater power.

» Otherwise, I geta great deal
more joy from touching. the
individual life than inflaming
the masses.

‘crippled with arthritis, who
has managed to get a chuckle
out of my column, it makes

: :me.feel good.”
ohh Recently, [gota letter from ei

a young Scot who has immi-
‘grated toCanada. He says: “I
have. learned ‘more © about
Canada‘: and: Canadians
through reading your column
than all the accumulated wis-
dom. from ‘the Canadian

newsmagazines, novels and: ;
programs I have ab-

sorbed.”

Now there isa man with his ie
head screwed on right. If}, as *
* ‘a newcomer, tried to get my

impressions of this ‘country
from newsmagazines and TV
_programs,'I’d catch the first
boat or plane home. -
So, 1 guess I'll just try to go

on talking to’ people, getting. «-

sore, ‘having’ some.. fun,

bragging “about my grand-.

i boys, looking for sympathy in
the war between the sexes.
That's what life is all about,

not. plumbers and politicians |

and other horrors of that ilk.

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