AUCTION LOCATION RUSSELL AUCTION HOUSE Thrums, § Miles North of Cestleger on Hwy. 3A eet vm Murphy inspires score of laws ali f levi 3 if in eran a ie fied wT iv = (@s0;wesg) 18) OW) uy BBBeA OF} Com! 21 808. Wise ou tit vous id i ie OF Spee pueuyHe PHO-1904-G, Hy 105 week-Li ye Un tuve7 veyderg 0A0} BASBBEQO 8,D10 s124yv0o words Or Cr 10604805 “eay O1qQUINjC> LST STZS-S9E MOA 40) BWOY © YIM, ou 01 y wanyes 01 818 umd One (-] ‘TWWOLLYN ALO ono Se atin H union g pera! a in aay menereren i THR Sra gn mal ail ay aes ak aI qi i its a a f) NVIdOLNY — 36>! ONVUASNI OHO s0Boyse> ‘yoours yar - LZ1L S3SNIDN ONY JONVENSNI H By BOB TAYLOR Canadian Press You're familiar with Murphy's Law, of course: “If anything can go wrong, it will.” Though just who Murphy was and when he formulated that universal truth are matter of conjecture. You are also aware of Parkinson's Law — “Work expands to fill the time available for its completion” — which was coined in 1955 by C. Northcote Parkinson, a history professor at the University of Malaya. You also know the Peter Principle: “In ever: hierarchy, whether it be government or businann, pone employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.” It was formulated in 1969 by Laurence Peter, a Vancouver- born teacher and writer. But what you may be unaware of is that these three great concepts have inspired scores of other laws, admonitions, rules, axioms, precepts, distinctions, postulates, observations, corollaries, sayings, warnings, phenomena, revelations, criteria, truths and cop-outs, of which the following are a few. Some are the brainchildren of the famous: Stephen Leacock the humorist, Robert Morley the actor, Satchel Paigethe baseball player, Damon Runyon the writer and Charlotte Witton, onetime mayor of Ottawa. But for most of them we are indebted to a mixed crew of virtual Allen's Axiom. When all else fails, read the instructions. Boyle's Laws. 1. The success of any venture will be helped by prayer, even in the wrong denomination. 5. An original idea will never emerge from committee in the original. 10. If not controlled, work will flow to the competent man until hé is submerged. Canada Bill Jones Law. A Smith and Wesson beats four aces. Computer Maxim. To err is human but to really foul things up requires a computer. Dieters Law: Food that tastes best has the highest number of calories. Ettorre’s Observation. The other line moves faster. Freud's Observation. Shunning women, drink, gambling, smoking and eating will not make one live longer; it will only seem like it. Gandhi's Observation. There is more to life than increasing its speed. Hartman's Law. Nothing minor ever happens to a car. at the weekend. Herblock’s Law. If it’s good, they'll stop making it. Howe's Verities. 1. When you're in trouble, people’ who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars. 5. Put cream and sugar on a fly, and it tastes very much like a black raspberry. 6. Families with babies is safe while the legislature is sitting. Jones Law. The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame. Lani's Principle. Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed. Law of Nations. In an underdeveloped country, don't drink the water; in a developed country, don’t breathe the air. Leacock’s Distinction. Gentlemen embezzle but don't steal. Morley’s Conclusion. No man is lonely while eating spaghetti. Paige's Six Rules of Life (guaranteed to bring anyone to a happy old age). 1. Avoid fried foods which angry up the blood. 2. If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. 3. Keep the juices going by jangling around gently as you move. 4. Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as the social ramble isn't restful. 5. Avoid running at all times. 6. Don't look back; something may be gaining on you. Rowe's Rule. The odds are 6-5 that the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming express train. Runyon’s Law. The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. Whitton's Equation. Whatever women do, they must Sat., Sept. 21, | p.m. Sharp — PARTIAL LIST OF SALE — CITY OF CASTLEGAR NOTICE Court of Revision TAKE NOTICE that the Court of Revision tor the LIST OF ELECTORS will sit in the Counc: Chambers of the City Hall located at 460 Columbia Avenue, Castlegar, B.C. on Wed nesday, October |, 1986 at 4:00 p.m. unknowns: part-time Platos, party-time comedians and, and families without babies are sorry for each other. do twice as well as men to be thought half so good. above all, hard-bitten, spit-in-your-eye cynics. Jacquin's Postulate. No one’s life, liberty or property Luckily, it's not difficult. Almanac predicts lousy weather By BRUCE LEVETT August: Would you believe it? “The weather turns (Canadian Press cooler.” Grains are exposed to fungus and insect problems. Oh, no — not another year like this year! By mid-month we are into wind damage. Words such as As he does every year, a warm, friendly little guy way “brief frost” are employed for north and central Saskatche- oa Answer to Sunday Crossword Puzzle No. 226 Lyi ig one 7H i ue ia Fer ojm|9} wa saa Re Pell i fie Fai We = ne Hy Pit pai re The Court of Revision shall hear all complaints and correct and revise the list of electors ICOO 2 Diz — (oart) eROMIED Noro The court a) may correct the names of electors in correctly stated: b) may add names of electors omitted trom the list c) may strike from the list the names of per- sons not entitled to vote or disqualitied from voting; d) may correct any other manifest error in the list; or e) shall add to the list the names of a person qualified on August 31 to have his name entered on the list and for this purpose the court may accept an application as com- pleted under section 42 if delivered to the court at its first sitting. ye ewig. v0 peep. “oer cme) me x K Complaints may be made at City Hall prior to 5 a 3 October 1, 1986, or presented to the Court of a oe MERCURY Revision. Dealer #7338 2796 Highway Orive Dated September 15, 1986 ‘Your Ford Country Headquarters’ — CITY CLE! HOURS: Mon.-Fri. 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Sat 8-6 eves 32Nid MO1S. TVD oBoyso> 'yoesss Yer - LLL ONVUASNI JOHO oezt 40604805 “@ay O1qQUINIOD LST arm 877s -S9E iia MO{ 404 @WIOY © YIM. o vz ‘ides ‘Aopseupem 04 yBnosy gi “Ides ‘Aopsuny) Cette O9TL-S9E SONNC S.1UV9 0} enp exe uw) yuUys 01 eujBeq Aivep * HAVE YOU DRIVEN AFORD LATELY? + 810504 05 ‘801 001 WINILIIMS Mot'een wipes puesd 9.veuz wow oun wey (ROVER ees!) an. sionpoud proyoenoy were OUL. Be eigenen yim vep | ediys 10) 8vee ou) yn008 0} meuo o1RAd ey pus seas WOT YOO @ 0} WOE 8 0 409109 8UREIC ON, © jo wepew yweXog wey oy) ‘180478 pry sy seyy vewyoee) 8019 “e1euseig evuerng (Apewod ‘veeisOuudg cong ‘worsnoy, Kounym But -snyee} 800p)A orenW wou 86nd .voUPS Aseeseniuuy- pad ; ( °o 4 o 4 w ° z 3 x b¥p 0523 0H “later it gets wild again” with storms all over the place. e e Apri: “Strange weather.” Spring storm time. reate fr 1 ct ion March: Cold. Below zero (Fahrenheit) everywhere. “Warming days” seen by mid-month but by month-end there fy vO Aynowwosd ADT HLA 241 008 *LTD + DIESEL y80k-21 op)oyoked © 10 s9yIow oul epre Apewvey enioeieg eon (eserwes, Aaypeasng P "1S LNSWNUZAOSD S77 snoqouny-5110y 8SZ8-779-008-| NOLDILLN3d PIT [BO PIW BEI 1040025 pojooym-0014) vONsAuels- yee Oey oo: @ 00:0 fepwoyy, © ne 0} eum 7" ‘TWaL00s TN We e180g 06804 s10Ureg pusoug mon, 18 SynByees oy 1A ODI, UBTY 818 02 eve Oumosp, 9061) ,,pepuen aon * wd e) Weve pue sxewoyens vz ides ‘Aopseupey, 0; YBnosys gi “Ides ‘Aopsuny) =) May: You thought it was cold in April? “Very cold” is our lot for May, with storms whistling in from the West Frost, rain and snow are on the menu just about everywhere right up to the end of the month. Yech. June: Aha. Here comes the sun, right? Dreamer. We are slated for showery in the West and cold in the East. Oh, there should be slight warming trend before it comes up storms and hail but then, later in the month, moderate temperatures are prescribed along with “timely” precipi tation. Toward month-end cool air should be bringing “anxious wonder” to Alberta and Manitoba and fog to eastern waters. RAIN ON TAP July: Surely now? Nope. “Beneficial” rain is on tap in the East and “cool” in the West. Summer storms are listed for Ontario and more of that “beneficial” rain for the Atlantic provinces. By mid-month “the weather is not exciting” (oh, really?) and lack of rain is becoming worrying. Rain shows up again later though, with thunderstorms for Ontario and Quebec. ment” is causing friction with many participants, says Ted Allen, commissioner general of the British pavilion. Allen, spokesman for Expo's international com munity, said the fair's latest dispute is with the Hong Kong pavilion concerning a 52-per-cent surcharge for use of the Kodak Bow! perform ance area, where Hong Kong had planned to stage a free Lantern Festival show this Friday Organizers moved the show to the Pacific Coliseum rather than pay the extra charge Hong Kong deputy com the show but “it's a matter of principle with us. We are doing it to just prove a point to the other internationals.” James Conrad, Expo's manager of contract enter tainment, said the surcharge is part of the standard con. tract for the use of Expo facilities such as the Kodak Bowl and covers crew costs above those normally pro- vided. an A.M. Ford to enter the * MUSTANG LTD «RANGER 3: Q% ANY New 1986 Spreshe Car in Stock $] 500°° REBATE tanes® $750°° one REBATE “uc 352- 1333, ¢ So. wat * ns : INCLUDING D50, 2 W.D. & 4x4’s! These are GENUINE Factory Rebates, they are'not being “bought down" by Paul's Place Ltd. 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