Let's face it, Erni

ge height, average.

out in a crowd. In

1961 he was managing to keep bread on the table by
the sweat of his brow as a mechanic's helper at G
Olt. His remuneration from Gulf was the munificent

sum of

month, Sometimes Ernie peddied

vegetables to make ends meet,

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sole

in aNd*:

, Prowess at
\ Olympic Committee at the Felt Forum

Records) ; ip
‘a benefit

‘Atlantic, Records so _
them individually’

who

(spent most of his adult. life |
f ‘working ;.in a” bank: and

writing poetry in England,

‘As far as England goes, he
was fu}! of baloney. April in
England is delightful. It rains
only every second day, and
the countryside is green with
grass and as colourful as a
patchwork. quilt. with;
‘flowers, era

Now, if he'd been’ writing
about Canada, ‘I'd agree,
April is no. bargain In these R
parts. It's’: one. of” those
nothing months, ‘like
November. r if

‘You ‘have’ staggered
through the last of the March
blizzards. Barely. And sud-
denly, in theory, it's spring.
In reality, it’s the dirty bot-

ers eae £7

Bill Smiley.

“and the stench of dead earth *

coming back to life.

And the clothes-line is sag-
ging like an ancient stripper.
‘The'back stoop is just that.
Stooped from the ice failing
off the roof onto it. f

All this is normal enough,

_ @ typical April scene, and I'm

not complaining. But
,wouldn’t it be nice if you got
through one. April without

your tail-pipe' ‘and muffler
suddenly starting to sound
like a bull breaking wind?
It’s enough \to. break a
. man, were he not a sturdy

* Canadian, who has been

through the . same _per-
formance in the same arena
year after year. '

But this April is going to
be the-one that broke many a.

ian stronger than I, On top ©

e th

e Pits

of all the usual crud of April,
will be piled the even crud-
dler crud of an election cam-
paign.
It won't be.so bad for the
kids, who don't mind April
at all, as it ‘gives them a
-chance to get soaked to the
knees and, covered in mud
with someexcuse, *

Nor will it be too tough for
the elderly, who greet April
with a kind of jaunty, trlum-
phant grin, because they've
made it through another
bone-buster of a winter. And

, they are perfectly aware that: °

\Politicians are pernicious,
whatever their outer color-
ing.

But for the honest, decent,
middle-aged Canadian; who
sees no more difference bet
ween the parties and their
promises than he does bet
ween-his left hand and his

CASTLEGAR NEWS, Thursday, April 26, 1979

C5

On the
Light
Side

by ann -sinalley

* Once you reach middle age, you'll probably notice
that middle-oged people are a tot younger looking

than they used to be,

® There's no sound in the world as ominous as a low

whistle from a mechanic underneath your car,

© Teenager to dad; “Of course | know money doesn't
grow on trees. That's why I'm asking you for it.”

© Some folks are in such a hurry they make instant

coffee in the microwave oven,

Peter Ustinov :
“TV Spots for UNICEF,

A series of $0-second En-
glish ‘and French TV com-
mereials, produced in Canada
and featuring Peter Ustinov, is
being released by UNICEF
Canada to mark the Inter-
national Year ui the Child.

‘The “inini-series”. of four
‘English spots will be distri-
buted singly in Canada at two-
month intervals during 1979,
and will'also be aired in the
United States, Australia and
New Zealand. .

In two of the spots, Usti-

largaret didn't have a lazy bone in her body. e Money is what things run into and people run out of.

Besides having her hands full looking after her ten
children, she worked as a practical nurse at St.
Joseph’s Hospital in Memphis, The Medders exiat-
ed without the finer things In life in a low rental
housing project.

tom end of. winter, ‘and the

weakest possible whisper of a
hope for summer. eet

April is mud, treacherous,

. piercing winds'that give you

that . racking’ cough you

: i : f avoided all’ winter, rusted

; : +. fenders, changing snow tires,

Ginna. tne and surveying your property
ADASTRA ama

and all the detritus deposited
CASTLEGAR, B.C.

valuable instruction on the ground and an opportunity to‘actually;
flyan airplane under th guidance pt sion {
Pilot Center flight Instructor. Come on our and start’a fi 2
adventure, $10.00 pays for everything! When you have eared:
your Private Pilar's license, you're eligible to enter the §300;000;
TakeOff Sweepstakes. See Us for complete detalls. No'purchase :
necessary. Vold where prohibited by law. ‘

tight, it’s just too much,
by itself is bad

“@ We never run out of patience when it comes to ;
satisfying you with top quality BAPCO PAINTS at

First

th Ca : ‘April

Pstbted ser hat eenanie enough. But to go through 30
Review. All the spots under- days of it huddling under’ a
score Ustinov’s ag tatent barrage of political poop is
for comedy” tad matrices in ‘a. the utmost pits. I agree with

ariety cf voles, while ceryign, tHE poet. This April will in-
variety of roles, while carrying — geed be ‘the cruellest
a strong and worthwhile mes- month.” > -
sage on behalf of the world’s EEE
children. :

“All production, writing and
studio services, as well as the
talents of Ustinov'and O'Hara,
were donated to UNICEF Can-
ada as a contribution to the
International Year of the Child.

(Noice of the People
Homecoming Celebration
. Editor, News/Mirror: these will be available at atores,
The. district known as ‘banks, ete. ies

South’: Peace is holding a Until Sept, 80, they may be
“Homecoming Celebration” sed as legal tender in the area.
‘from Aug. 4 to 11 to commemo- 98. one side of the coin is the
rate the 100th anniversary of head: of Dr. George Dawson,
. the trip through the district of 80d-on the other, one of

Dr. George Dawson. - Dawson Creek's new modern
‘As’ we know. there “ace elevators, depicting 100 years

former Dawson Creek and oe in \Peace " River.
district residents who can best 3 z
be: contacted through your Information will be sup-

Plied to any former resident
paper, we hope you will publish fr
this letter or Jin some way Tequeating iit, ‘There will ;be

activities at Dawson Creek,
publicize this event. Pouce Coupe, Rolla and Chet-
. The program for the week

wynd,
is. quite extensive, although © . We would appreciate any itu. :
many -details are. atill being publicity. you ‘cen give, our Quality, Performance. and. Economy
worked out.’Some-of the items. centennial. celebration. - P
include a horse rally and a trail

ney that doesn’t: cost the Earth.”
C.W. Pool, Publicity Committee _
ride, both of .which will as

78P

; on it'and around it by the re-
? cent winter, (2. i
«}, Just checked mine today, ‘
© On the side lawn there is &
dirty brown) hump © that
resembles something. from:_
the paleolithic age,’ eycless,
-shapeless, © but) somehow
menacing. It is made up of
‘one part ice, two parts sand,
and one part salt, all courtesy
of the snowplowing depart-
ment. This'lump will have
melted entirely by the fourth
of July and will leave a 30
square ‘foot patch of pure
Sahara, *

Scattered about the back
porch are bits and pieces and |
whole shingles,” removed,’
without. charge, . from. the
roof when..the man’ was
knocking off the ice at the
end of January.

Mingling with the shingles
are . portions of. brick,

knocked out of the wall by
the man who removed some
of the shingles while hejwas
Temoving the ice.
Lying on the back porch
. itself is a, pile of glass, shat-
tered from a ‘storm window
that didn’t quite get put on
tast and waslean- ,
5 3 ed carefully against the house
New Invention 3 to wait fora nice‘day for in-..

SAUER Shits stallation. A December, wind,
; May Save caught that one.
-: Child's Life

Leaning limply is the
storm. door, which. will no

newss! it Is 30€ issue. A’ penniless inventor ‘has

pomber Gov. imps eee unveiled his new seat belt that -

a major lawsuit. A clever Southern
a sult on

TOYOTA|

4-WHEEL DRIVE

NEW1979MODEL - one

4x4 HILUX,
PICKUP

plaintiffs.

Are you sitting down for this one? They were
seeking a cool five hundred million doll:

To give the Medders the benefit

IN THE FILM WORLD, Mick Jagger will be
¥ Steven Spiel

whitch

ts 80

came: convinced he would be the sole

laintiff to collect. He had no trouble at all convinc-

Tog Maar aret that they practically had five hundred
ion big ones in their ttle paws.

Margaret couldn't contain herself. She told ev-

eryone down at St. Joseph's how very fortunate

they had been and how very rich they were about to

come.

It took no time at all for the good Roman Catholic
nuns who ran St. Joseph's to hear of the blessing

- which had befallen a member of their flock. The
nuns, whose order was officially, if inappropriately,
named The Poor Sisters of St. Francis Seraph of the
Perpetual Adoration, may have been Just that at
some distant time in the past, but in 1961 they were
loaded. They just ached to find a way to help
Margaret over the short period of time she had le!
to be poor. Besides, you never know how Eee
dear Margaret and Ernest would be to the holy

fter they collected the pot of gold at the end
of the rainbow. ‘

The Poor Sisters commenced to loan the Medders
money. At first just a trickle of a few thousand, but
ooee a oars ere cane: Sr arnomt andpartng ie party goers to lis farm were
 qeeering weit: thal yped position - Ite, i aed others from distant points. Guy Lombar: el

ers move: luenster, Texas. Ha
enough ¢ ‘of low rental housing, they Bult 4 house, x do and his Royal Canadians provided the musical

financed, of course, ie Poor rs baci 4

Tennessee. Money {s a Serange commodity. It takes Despite his limited knowledge of Fanching; Emile

no time at all to get used to spending it, and even found that after a fey eS nis cea te palsing

tings wil buy accustomed to the go year. hls was ust drop in the Buck ct com a red
Poor ding cheques of between to the fantastic amounts require ntain the
one ies ecllags each month, Medders’ lifestyle. Most of the tab for all the fun
the Medders reasoned, ‘What the heck, let’shavea . and games was still being picked up by the.-Poor
little fun.” es
The Medders purchased a 185 acre farm and built Perhaps the pinnacle of the Medders' fabulous

a 15 room brick home smack dab in the middle. The : plunge into the life occurred in April, 1966.

1, interior decorating, and landscaping set them Ernie and Margaret now numbered among their
ack about a quarter of a million dollars. friends the Governor of Texas, John Connally.

Ernie discovered that he had a fancy for. Black “Through contributing to Democratic causes and

Angus cattle, and proceeded to build a respectable their personal relationship with Connally, they

herd to go with his stable of Appaloosa horses, attended a ball in Houston honoring President

Margaret took to money like a fish takes to water. Lyndon Johnson. Belleve it or not, Margaret

« and Ernie were invited to attend a reception at the
White House the following week.

On May 4, the practical nurse and the mechanic’s
helper few to Was! in. to be the guests of the
President of the United States. During the course of
the evening, President Johnson discovered that the
Medders were leaving town the following day. He
volunteered that he was going to Texas, and would

THERE IS WORD OUT THAT
tour

Before You Buy ue
Check Out CAMPION!

If you are a fisherman, waterskier or cruising family, Campion has a boat in the size and
style to suit you. Campion builds over 30 models from 16 foot .go-boats to 26 foot Command
Bridge Cruisers. All Campions are built with the gas miser modified Vee-Hull to give you

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Rislo
oe Jurunen

the Medders like a lift on the Presidential jet.
Would they? Wild horses couldn't have kept tiem
away! Next day the Medders flew home on Air
*Sust after this highlight in the M dders’ Ii
just after this highlight in the Medders’ lives,
those spoilsports, the Poor Sisters, informed them SAVE OVER
that they had been cut off from the fountain of cash. 1 00
‘The order of nuns had wakened up-to the fact that... Ph ey) axe
~ they had been thken’ The decision was nidle to kéep ee "Limited sur

the lid on the whole thing. The nuns did not plan to’ zi __M brates beh ay Minor ; 7 oth

5. * <4 ‘£ { tle News Ltd,

At this time, Ernie was making real money at his PS 2 fait subscription rate to the
cattle operation. They could still come up covered . Costlegar

- with roses if only they could curtail their irrespon- ;

sible extravagances. It was too late. They had

become accustomed to wealth. The parties contin-

ue =

Ernie invited 1,200 kids to his ranch for a horse
show. He also threw a huge party for Jeanné Dixon,
the Washington clairvoyant. Now that the Poor
Sisters had cut them off, the Medders simply
borrowed from banks until they too refused to

- advance them another penny. Margaret still man-
aged to decorate her person with a $70,000 necklace,
a $60,000 ring, and a mink coat valued at $5

-Pressed for

confess that

* them living in a drafty dormitory. She bought the
girls a $40,000 home beside the school.

Then there were the parties, Ernie and Margaret
knew how. to ww a party. Once they had a
thousand guests down to the farm, which was now
complete with a huge cattle auction arena. Buses

Very Limited 5 : .
BR ALONG WITH SUPPORTING ACT Max Web-
Supply, only $7,995 + Plus 4% tax ! ster, tour Europe from April to June. In the
F E meantime, Rush is in the United States completing a tour
with fellow Toronto-based uct Wireless. - 2

_——

boats to shame.

take any action-against the Medders.

route taken by. Dr, Dawson, , — .
between the East’ Pine. and [7 jS——a—a———— may

Dawn. These are to be eid | PODIATRIST. “ Yi JAR EEN ae

keep out the weather, and the Aug, 4 and 5, and we expect FOOT SPECIALIST
child who stands up in a car isi IAQUIOMIEINGS ADR aI,

. about 100 horses and riders will paces
mosquitoes. moni from. take part. " S.J. Flelisirom D.P.M:
A atthe
Hi Arrow Arms
going to a throegh the jrind 1 SPORTS fe LOGGING is AGRICULTURAL

screen door, ee ‘Yhere ‘are also plans for

Lying in the back yard, - picnics, non-denominational Wednesday, April 25
brake suddenly,” said inventor p.m. - 8 p.m.
David Sandler, 54, of Akron,

leaning on one elbow, is one church service, a barbecue, a
Thursday, April 26
, : B : : OH. ae
CLARK E af ERRORS “With my seat belt the kid
; ‘ : Both the Castlegar News and

of the great old cedar chairs, .,
looking as though it had just us trip to the W.A.C; Bennott
been mugged in a back alley dollar-size cold “iminted.: which 9a.m.-8p.m.
by a particularly vicious gang will be presented to each regis- Ph. 385-7282
[Week Mil ill not be can kneel or stand and still be.
ewae Tac ony ‘orrors In ad. protected at sudden stops. This’
s , [vertisements after one inserti is not a luxury. Parents need
them,” he says.
2320 Burrard St. at 7th Ave., Vancouver ..

longer close, because thie ice
allows kids to stand up in cara

- got in around it, and it was
forced shut so many times it
and still survive a crash at 50
mph, he claims.

Land Cvsar saad f lost its shape and all desire to
id Thé Mid-Week Miiror is a

entralled ereualion newspaper

{ distributed by carriers and mail to re

households. and. businesses ‘With ordinary seat belts a.

located outside the normal cir.

culation orea of the Castlegar

News. With some content
» The Mirror ts included

os a section of the Castlegar

Brand new 1978 9 .
Land Cruiser 4x4 : t
Hardtop, ony $8,995. Plus 4% tax

PHONE COLLECT 736-4282
: 510 HALL ST. ~ NELSON, BC.

Most of her wardrobe consisted of European origi-
nals. Bits and pieces of Jewellery used up about y
,000.a month of the Poor Sisters’ cash. --Picnic table, practically
sway-backed from the load

of snow and ice it carried alt

of punks. Beside it stands the tered homecomer, and more of for an appointment
The seat belt is tied to

winter.

But all is not drab, There's
anice touch of color here and
there. A green wine bottle
tossed over the fence by some
passing contributor. Here,
frozen into the ice, a
newspaper wrapped in yellow
cellophane. Over there,

“another paper, wrapped in
blue, emerges from its winter
retreat. Both bear December

tes. :

straps that are fitted into the
back of the car seat. i
A child can slide up and;
down along the straps, i
Sandler is now selling the
seat belt for $29.96 out of his
tiny Akron, OH., shop. He may
eventually sell rights to the
to Detroit auto-
imakere, but at the moment ke fy
an co from y ers off, ete a frisky grey squir-
a er tel, scuttling up the dead
sices ola wrong price, the goods The Sandler seat belt wil yin on the house, Tooking
Bi servis need col be ssid: aa nant be Sested by je Boren for a soft spot to gnaw
ertising is merely an offer tof Highway we Salely AC- through and deposit her ki 4 =
thd: igh and deposit her kits
ute ntfs moy be. velihdrawn ministration, in the attic. Chasing her is a ‘ ( { al=|\|, Toa
ete ies she best fea ley dog, probably the same one ;
TICE OF COP’ since wi years ho left his calling cards all «
MOTiCe Ea It wasn't a stroke of, genius. It ‘ ‘ Se ae tn
was a stroke of necessity be-.

over the back yard during the
winter, which “are now
cause I get ideas when I don't. melding nicely'with the mud
eat,” Sandler says. The seat ‘f :
belt idea was born in a dream, ik 2 i : hal 7 ak
but took five years to perfect.‘ .
Sandler lives alone in’ a * All paths lead
basement apartment. He drives to your Honda
* a dusty Matador auto that has a dealer And with good
z He's reason. Honda lawn-

‘poor transmission. He's sure his V
seat belt is his meal ticket back’ * mowers, outboards, generators,
tillers, General Purpose engines

ito the big money he once had.

+” Sandler made his first and and water pumps are making news
only fortune in 1946 with this © as powerful,economical alter-
natives to the competition. -

simple but novel invention: tiny
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. sound speakers that ‘are given
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three years later by investing But we don't stop there. All major

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-SOCIAL CREDIT

op! :
dition ‘that in the event of failura
to ‘publish any advertisement of
‘ony description, or in the event
trots occur in the publishing

‘of on advertisement, that portion
‘of the advertising space occupied |
the erroneous item, Jogether
wi i] or
signature, will not be charged for
wrk balance of. the adver-
fisement will be paid for ot the
opplicoble rate. (n the event of an

renal KINNAI D TRANSFER LTD.

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Scrap Batteries, delivered to our
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Rads ...... 35°. per Ib.
Copper'No.1 ... . 55° per Ib.
Copper No. 2 ... 50° per Ib.
Brass ....... . 30° per Ib.
Lead fl evetiias «+ 20° per Ib.
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Scrap steel size 4’ x 2’ delivered to

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