‘Page 8A Quitting tips for a The Castlegar Sun é to compare! | Profile Weedless Wednesday Submitted Weedless Wednesday Ganuary 17) is the perfect day for smokers to take steps. toward a new, healthier, tobacco-free life, according to the British‘Columbia Lung Association. ay “Many smokers made New Year's resolutions about quitting, anda logical time to start acting on them is the mid-point of National Non- Smoking Week (January 16-22),” says Scott McDonald, the Lung Association's executive director, " Once called Cold Turkey Day, the annual non-smoking event became Weedless Wednesday in the late 1980s, according to MecDon- ald. “This recognized that quitting is usually a gradual process, and that most smokers can’t end nicotine addictign by simply stopping cold, The Lung Association offers smokers “Quit Tips”. That 's the title of a free booklet with suggestions on coping with nicotine withdrawal, handling social situati without and creating p: rewards for sticking to the goal of staying smoke-free. “ i is a habit, and so is not smoking,” says McDonald. “Quit Tips’ helps you replace the dangerous habit with the healthy one. ‘The free booklet can be obtained from; the Lung A 2675 Oak St., Vancouver, BC V6H 2K2; phone 731-5864 or, the Lower Mainland, toll-free to 1-800-731-5864. The B.C. Lung Association is a voluntary health ageficy that funds medical re: h and public and professional edu- cation piograms. With less than three per cent Of its from government, the Association relies for support tions from individual British Columbians. ‘SUN STAFF PHOTO (John Van Putten One set of skis served two skiers, at least until the moguls, during a weekday run at Red Mountain. Saturday, Jan. 22, 1994 at your Neighbourhood Safeway Store. rights reserved. p.m. Shaw Cable will be running A sweetheart of \ Submitted + Vitico presemiaiions by Willi Baggett, from the Educational Lead- (Centre in New York inleo, said Schoo! informative. “ht catipnal system is, linked to thy industrial age and needs to be changed if our children are to have opportunities for success. Those skills need to be looked at.” a Valentines’ gift sales stay in B.C. to support advanced medical research, health Britigh Columbians looking for Valentines’ Day gifts. for their sweethearts can order a Golf Privi- lege Card and help fight hung dis- ease at the same time. The $25 card, a British Ter iati Associa- tion at 731-5864, Outside the Lung A Y fundraiser, offers golfers, free rounds or reducéd greens feés at 423 golf courses. There arg_92 courses in B.C. listed onthe card, and 331 from 10 westemi states, : ing Catitorti d, call toll-free 10 Lang Association.is a voluntary health agency which relies for support mainly on dona- tions from individual British Ce All proceeds from golf card MasterCard. @ Questions Continued from 7A tion campaign. The instructions Of their paid professional advi- sor, Emmet Gulley, was to abduct the children in orilér to educate and assitnilate them forcibly. This was not a simple matter to openly accomplish without extreme static from the public, but would‘ have to be strategically manouvered with the assistance of inside person- nel and in the same religion. Emmet Gulley, was able befriend insiders by inducement, to assist with instigation and have the homes barned, in order to brand the Sons of Freedom as not fit to reer their own children. the supposedly leader, John Lebedoff. managed to persuade the Sons of Freedom to burn their homes, then create a tent village in Perry's Siding, an iso- lated location, out of sight of the public. Here the authorities raid- ed the ichts, diTeMEd the parenis and took away the children. claiming, “Long Planned Trap Sprung By the Doukhobors....By parading in the nude on a public highway and around a school, to protest the educating of their children.” (Vancouver Sun, Sept 12, 1953) As one’ of the participants in the tent village, I know this was a deliberate lie, for no one left the boundaries of the tent vil- +lage, despite a vicious attack on defenceless people, by a score of R.C.M_P. officers. Under the command of Sgt. MacKay, they raided the tent vil- lage with riding crops and half inch hoses about three feet long, swatting everyone in sight, terri- Pauline Berikoff, had no intention of burning Verigins home. All she wanted was to join her incarcerated sisters. What appalls me is, how is it that you see and condemn the insignificant fires of those who are just waming us*of the major fire that is coming to destroy all of Canada, but you do not see and support the major terrorists who destroy whole countries, slaughtering and crippling mil- lions of innocent people. I would much rather be classed a terrorist with these servants of God rather then with the terrorists who nations. We have a long story to tell the world, only the world is so brainwashed, as yourself, there ; is no way that they will accept the opinions of insignificant ser- vants of God (mischief makers) over major terrorists that ¢very- oné in the country supports by taxes. Mike E. Chernenkoff be sixteen A child should have a home, she knows her folks were right She never heard the couple’s name, Just that they were nice . 7 n Canadian Country Singer Michelle Wright croons the powerful lyrics to He Would Bg Sixteen, it brings Noella to tears w in her early thirties, this Castlegar resident was a mere 16-year-old herself when she gave birth to her first child—a son, whom she called Daniel. Noella was living in a small Manitoba town when she was told by a family doctor that she was pregnant Not wanting to burden her parents with the devastating and embarrassing news, Noella fled to Winnipeg where she lived on the streets. Luckily, she made friends and, up until the baby came, was soon cleaning their apartment and making meals in exchange for room and board. She says she decided early in her pregnancy that she would not keep this child, and when her son was bom in May, she dutifully kept her promise and handed him over to the proper officials. Daniel would now be 16. And a day hasn't passed that his mother hasn't thought of him, or the way she; a young, unwed, pregnant girl was made to feel. “I was one of the lucky ones. I saw him and was able to hold him. But right from the beginning I was made aware that I had no rights,” she said, as she wipes away the tears that now flow easily. Tainted. Shameful. Slut. Bastard. ‘Words that were tossed about precariously in her presence by hospital staff to describe her, and her son. Four days later, her son was adopted. And suddenly, every- thing was alright. The mess was cleaned up. Her child would have a name. She was given a clean slate. She was to forget the birth: the pains of labor, the first joyful wail of a newborn. She was to forget she had a son. For something Noella was supposed to so easily forget, the birth of Daniel remains in her mind, to this day, the most vivid of memories. * She retumed to her family and told her parents what hap- pened. It was never discussed again—for 16 years. Now, Noella has joined a recently-formed support group designed to provide the emotional assistance that many people still believe the parents of relinquished childfen don"t need nor require. Noella always realized that her story was not neces- sarily a unique one, but after discovering the Full Circle Birth Support Group in Castlegar, she has gained insight into the traumatic sense of loss she has felt for the past 16 years. Despite the fact that she is happily married and is raising two daughters, she yearns to know her first-bora. = — “IT wasn't allowed to be lonely, or even cry. All,I-was allowed to be was ashamed.” for adoption immediately after the birth. In fact, it would be best if the new parents were there to take the newborn as soon ‘as it was safe to leave the hospital. Like Noclla, Lynn was to return to a normal teenage life. “I was told to forget it, and for awhile, I really thought I In 1991, the first Adoption Reunion Registry was started, under a contract from the Ministry of Social Services, allow- ing both ‘Non-identifying Information’ and ‘Passive Reg- istties’ to occur. Not long after, an ‘Active Registry’ was put in place, which allows active searches to be carried out, based on information that can now be made available under the Adoption Act. Lynn began an active search, and her efforts ‘were rewarded by good news. Her son, now.30, had been located and was willing to meet her. They talked on the tele- phone first, and a meeting time and place was set. “I thought I was prepared,” said Lynn, “but I don’t think ing can you for a meeting like that.” Their first visit was five hours long, and was filled with questions and answers from both sides. “The whole experi- ence has been truly amazing. He looks like me you know.” The Full Circle Birth Support Group now has 10 members who attend monthly meetings. Most of the 10 are in various —Lynn Dodds Before relinquishing her son, and all the rights of a mother, she wrote a letter to him, explaining her reasons why he was put up for adoption. The adoptive parents agreed that he would be given the letter when he was old enough to under- stand. Her recent search has led to the knowledge that her son is still alive, and that his name is Shane. While she is excited at the prospect of meeting him, the reality of it all scares her. “There's a part of me that's not in a hurry.” Regardless of this, Shannon says she has found a sense of relief with the FCBSG. “After 19 years, I’m finally speaking to people who understand.” Marlene feels the same way. Her first child was premature and was hospitalized for some time. She was able to visit with and hold him once, before he was adopted by a family from rural Alberta. Her son is now 13-years-old, and she has started searching for him. Marlene is now married and has two children. She is expecting her third and for some unknown reason, this preg- nancy has been especially difficult emotionally. She keeps thinking of her first child. “It's been difficult, but the group has definitely helped me.” All members of the group agree that nothing positive can The Full Circle Birth Support Group (FCBSG), is helping her live with the loss, and more importantly, giving het the strength to begin a search for Daniel. FCBSG was started by Lynn Dodds of Castlegar, a woman who recognized the massive void in her own life and realized there was no one who could possibly understand—aunless of course, they also had relinquished a child “I started the group in order to get help for myself. It was purely a selfish reason.” Like Noelia. Lynn was 16 and pregnant. Typical of society in 1963; Lynn had brought a great shame upon her family. So great, she was to hide in the back of the house whenever com- pany called. Her parents “allowed” her to remain under their roof, but Lynn was to sec no ope. not even the baby's father, lest she risk the chance of someone seéing her in “that shame- ful condition” “IT wasn't allowed to be lonely, or even cry. All | was allowed to be was ashamed.” Her parents decided for her that the child would be placed “sages oF the P process of thenr stare their stories, and their tears. At this point they are all women, but Lynn says the group is not confined to women only—men, who also have relinquished a child, are more than welcome. Though primarily a self-help group, FCBSG has also played its hand in politics when it sent a member of the group -on its behalf to lobtry. government for further opeaness of adoption records. “This is a much bigger issue than anyone realizes. There's a lot of women out there who were told to just go on with their lives. The only problem is, you can never, ever forget.” said . a member who has been working through the Adop- tion Reunion Registry and is on the brink of & reunion with her now 13-ycar-old son Shannon's family dealt with her pregnancy the way many families do today. The accepted it, but completely ignored it “No one was allowed to talk about it, Or even look at my stomach for that matter. ] remember sitting @n the couch, and I suddenly felt the baby moving. | wanted to say, “Hey, the baby’s moving! Feel this'* but | couldn't.” “connie Gut OF UME SeLicrive process Uf ciosed-adop Pre cover of secrecy ‘was, at one time, seen as the best way to pro- tect-the child from the knowledge of being a “bastard” while at the same time giving the birth mother the opportunity to put the mistake behind her. It was the perfect solution, and birth records were tampered with to ensure it remained so. The secrecy and shame however, remains a part of the birth par- ent's life long after the fact. Legislation under the Adoption Act in B.C. has evolved a long way, and according to ministry officials, more change towards openness is on the way. Meanwhile, members of the Full Circle Birth Support Group are also evolving, and theirs is a process that will take a lifetime to achieve. If vou. or someone vou know might be interested in the Full Circle Birth Support Group, call Lynn Dodds at 305-OSSS Sharlene Imheft