Wednesday, April 15, 1992 Fe) The Easter Bunny Coming to Chahko-Mika Mall Saturday, April 18th 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Come and get your Easter Goodie! Designer Easter Egg Posters on Display Faster Egg Contest 5 - 7 YEAR CATEGORY ) Where there’s a will, there’s Barker’s way From time to time, our office at the Pardon U.S. Writer's Guild, receives someone élse's mail by mistake. Normally, I would have minded my own business but there was nothing on TV that night. This is what the letter said: Dear Executor: Thank you for your recent let- ter marked July 8, 1956, which I finally received last week due to the wage hike at the post office. timed will. It is especially won- derful to receive this news now that my husband, Stiff Upperlip, has been greatly incapacitat- ed from ing as he suffers from severe bouts of kleptomania and cowardly position. Not only that, the cable has disconnected our cable service in order to force us to pay. Stiff calls it extortion and says we shall never surrender to such subversive tactics. We shall never surrender. Never. Never. Never. Stiff is a good man, and Lord knows he tries but life has been hard on him and everything he does goes against him one way or another. Regardless of how hard he worked, the chicken liver farm failed. No matter what he did, our chickens refused to give up their livers voluntarily. Then he found out you had to kill the chickens to obtain their livers and my hus- band’s been severely depressed ever since. Stiff is no killer of chickens. No. Stiff is an idea man through and through. I know that one day, things will change because genius is Silver A Rattle Antiques 301-11 Ave. Castlegar, (in Tulips Building) 365-5191 always rewarded, so I told my husband that. He said he's already served one jail term and he feels he’s done his duty for his country. He felt largely unappreciated as an explosives expert. When Bamabus Burglar taught the trade to Stiff, he told my husband that it was a career that could only go So he’s been laying in front of the TV for about six years now trying to think of an exciting career. I have continued to dust him the whole time and send him Out to be drycleaned at least once a month. I take great care of him as befitting my role as wife. I have also been very understanding because, as Einstein said, “Medi- ocrity comes from great minds.” Stiff has barely moved, being so intent on his sense of purpose and I have to hand it to him. I hand everything to him, come to think of it. But I’m very proud of him. He’s a great intellectual because I always ask him what he's doing and he always tells me he's think- ing. Even when he makes gentle snoring noises. He says he's think- ing even harder. Now life will be so much better since I've been named in the will. Please do not send it by mail as the profits. Send it by dogsled. Please send $14.95 of the estate money to it. phoned are papal for a $50 recollec- tion fee. I wasn't going to pay it but ‘Stiff climbed up on a step-stool and threat- ened to jump. I must admit i long for the good old days of Sesame Street and quality big time wrestling and I miss seeing the familiar glaze in my hus- band’s eyes. Maybe you could sell that old four poster bed from Elizabeth the First that’s been in my family for sixteen generations. And I won't be tricked into taking less than it's worth. I want recollection fees and two months of cable service with the family channel thrown in. I’m nobody's fool. Sincerely, Evelyn K.G.B. Upperlip Wife of Stiff Upperlip * There is no truth to what people are saying about me. The fact that my name is being changed to Evelyn K.G.B. Upper lip is mere coincidence. jigned, Previously Barker Take your problem to management Dear Ann Landers: I am so angry at what is going on that I must tell you about it with the hope that you will alert others While I was waiting for a pre- scription to be filled, I struck up a conversation with a woman who also was waiting. She told me about her elderly parents who were getting prescriptions at this same drugstore and they kept run- ning out of medication. They had started to count their pills when they came home from the phar- macy, and sure enough, they were getting shorted — three or four pills at’a time. Today I spoke with a friend who told me that she had been shorted 10 pills in an order for 100 from this same pharmacy. I decid- ed I had better count mine. Guess what? I was supposed to get 30 pills and there were only 28. This is a chain operation with three or four pharmacists working behind the counter. They do a f: ic busi MARY KAY MOST SKIN CARE AND GLAMOUR PRODUCTS ARE MISSING ONE VITAL INGREDIENT. Mary Kay provides you with a personal skin care or Color Awareness consultation. And our advice is free. Call today. Professional Mary Kay Jeanette Horning ADVICE. Beauty Consultant 365-5576 lst: Matthew Santucci - Nelson 2nd: Jess Cotton - Nelson 3rd: Lindsay Miller - Nelson 8 - 10 YEAR CATEGORY lst: Donovan Matthews - Castlegar 2nd: Paul Couch - Nelson 3rd: Elijah Allen - Nelson 11 - 12 YEAR CATEGORY 1st: Kori-Lea Dunn - Meadow Creek 2nd: Lana Cockerill - Castlegar 3rd: Jennifer Hagel - Nelson CUBA IEURO Cyne IMTANID IL The Mecing Place SAVING YOU MORE Mon., Tues., Wed. & Sat.: 9:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Thurs. & Fri.: 9:30 a.m. - 9:00 p.m. « Sun.: 11 a.m. - 4 P-m. 1150 Lakeside Drive, Nelson, B.C. * 354-4496 ADVERTISING SALES PERSON Required immediately The Castlegar Sun is a rapidly growing weekly newspaper and we need your help now! Newspaper ad sales experience an asset but not necessary. We will train you in a team-oriented, high spirited environment. You must be assertive, able to work with minimal supervision, eager to seek out new opportunities, and have excellent people skills. Written applications may be sent to: Jon Jarrett The C Sun SS 465 Columbia Ave., Castlegar, B.C. VIN 1G8 All applications heid in strict confidence beca their Prices are the lowest in town. Most people don’t count their pills. They take it for granted that I do not believe this is a com- mon practice. It is unlikely that a merchant would jeopardize the store’s reputation to save a few dollars. But I do thank you for alerting my readers to the possi- bility. Dear Ann Landers: I am the live-in manager of a small dwelling that houses 14 families. day, someone will knock on door. When I ask, ~Who’s there?” invariably I get the response, “Me.” When I ask, “Who is ‘me’?” that person walks away — insulted. Please tell your readers that “me” is not a good answer to such a question. Thank you — ia in Eureka, Calif. Dear Readers: Claudia has a point. If you see yourself in ROBSON MECHANICAL HEAVY DUTY AUTOMOTIVE AUTOMATIC TRANSMISSION GENE waboinar: ‘ON 365-7006 Wednesday, April 15, 1992 The Castlegar Sun Page 7B Dialogue By Toni D'Amato inda Lavin looks the same loday as she did on “Al- ice.” How old is she? Was she ever a stage actress? — Columbia, Mo. Linda Lavin ARIES — March 21/April 20 After a quiet start to the week, you'll Probably be involved in quite a lot of activity on the social side. It could that someone asks for your assis- tance in a rather delicate matter. Don't let anyone take advantage of your good nature, though. TAURUS - April 21/May 21 You're going to have one or two problems with people you normal y get along well with — so try not to force yourself or your opin- ions on them. This is a very good time to make a special purchase; you could easily pick up a bar. ain. An older relative may be feeling a bit lonely now. Why not pay them a visit? GEMINI - May 22/June 21 You may have to call off some rather special plans you've made. Try not to be too d and don't HOROSCOPES April 12-18 much by sticking to an organized schedule and working your way through things methodically. Fri- day's a good day to start any impor- tant new projects. Even if you have nothing planned for the weekend, it will be a busy time socially, SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 This is not a good time for taking chances so don’t be tempted to take any big gambles this week. Somebody you've known for some time will want to change the nature of the relationship. If you're feeling uncomfortable with this, then it would be a good idea to be honest about your feelings. SAGITTARIUS — Nov 23/Dec 21 If you've been feeling a bit down lately, you'll find things brightening up considerably in the next few days. You're going to be offered a lot of ce ri advice about some ideas start looking for people to blame. It looks like a slow moving time for you, but you should have a good time with people around you, even if your social life is a bit low key. CANCER - June 22/July 22 Be careful not to take on any extra commitments without very careful thought beforehand. A reshuffle at work seems likely, so keep your eyes Lavin, who played the title character on ‘‘Alice”’ from 1976-85, is 54 years old. She got her start in show business on the stage in New York City in the ‘60s. Her big break in TV came in 1975, when she played a detective on “Barney Miller.’ She appeared in five episodes of that show, then took the role of Alice. She's currently Starring in the new limited-run Tuesday-night ABC sitcom ‘tRoom for Two.” I it true that the man who played the original Darrin in “Bewitched” died recently? What made him give up that role? — C.C., Houston Dick York died last February at the age of 63. He had suf- fered from chronic emphyse- ma and a crippling back prob- lem for years. York was married 'to his wife Joan for 39 years and had five children and 13 grandchildren. He re- Portedly left “‘Bewitched” af- ter five seasons because of his back problem and a depen- dence on pain killers that it precipitated. York was able to beat the addiction, but be- cause he received no residuals from “Bewitched,” he relied on odd jobs to survive. Five years ago, when emphysema made him homebound, he founded Acting for Life, an Organization dedicated to feeding the homeless enjoyed the series “Open All Night.” How long did it run, and what other series did the cast members work on afterwards? — R.M., Edin- burg, Texas “Open All Night,” a sitcom about a 24-hour grocery store, aired from November 1981 to March 1982 George Dzundza, Susan Tyrrell and Sam Whipple played the Feesters, who owned the store. The series is Tyrrell’s lone series acting credit, but Dzundza later-starred on “Law & Order” (1990-91), and Whipplc briefly appeared on ‘Bagdad Cafe” (1990). Pro football star Bubba Smith played the night manager, and he went on to star in “Blue Thunder (1984) and “Half-Nelson” (1985). Bever- Leigh Banfield, who played a beat cop, also appeared in “Roots: The Next Genera- tions’ (1979). Jay Tarses, who played another beat cop, was one of the driving forces behind the show: He was its co-creator and producer. open; a p could be on the way. You might find that one or two people you have close dealings with are causing problems — so don’t always assume they've got your best interests at heart. LEO - July 23/August 23 News from a fairly close relative brightens up your week — and it could lead to some new interests this month. Don't allow yourself to be rushed by other people, this is a time for taking things more carefully than normal. This is particularly impor- tant on the work front, where you may end up making a mistake, if you're not careful. , VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 This should be a fairly quiet week for you. You'll be able to put your feet up a bit more than usual. Establish contact with some old friends. The weekend looks rather interesting, with romance in the air! Do be wary of getting involved too quickly, though — you may find your partner has no intention of tak- ing things as seriously as you do. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 You'll find friends and you've been mulling over; be very cautious — and don’t be pushed into making changes unless you're sure they're the right ones, Your own judgement is at its best right now, so Place your trust in that. CAPRICORN -— Dec 22/Jan 20 There's some surprise news on the way, and it may have something to do with money! You've probably been feeling rather fed up with work recently — the next few days will show a positive improvement. You'll get some special happiness from watching the activities of a younger member of your family. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 19 This is going to be an exciting week. A long-dreamt-of opportunity will Present itself, so have your wits about you and be willing to make an on-the-moment decisign! It may mean a small investment and, pro- viding you think you can afford it, there will be no harm in going ahead PISCES — Feb 19/March 20 Try and clear some of the routine work you've been ignoring lately — otherwise you'll find things piling up on you. Do your best to try to reach an agreement with a compiain- ing friend this week — and don’t be too disappointed if this leads to a change of plan. YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK The next 12 months: Take a look back at last year, and decide how you will improve your- self (everybody can use a /ittle aren't as helpful as they usually are — So it’s a week for doing more on your own. You will find you achieve P An 1g Leo will enter your life this summer, and it could lead to a rewarding relation- ship. Keep an open mind. Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson Do You BELIEVE IN TEMPTATION , CORRUPTION, AND DESTRUCTION OF MAN ?| WH LIFE, (TS TWAT EVERYONE WAS HIS PRICE AND THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS SCRUPLES! PEOPLE WILL Do ANTTHING WF THE PRICE Canadian Quiz-Cross by Maureen Azimov 2 3 4 5 6 7 13 ACROSS DOWN 1. “Luck” of the Irish 5. Ingest 8. Type of lash 12. Avowal 13. Leaching byproduct 14. “Same” (Latin) 15. Saskatchewan et al Quiz Electrical term pl. Breakwater “Low” level . “Edmonton” Done on land of 15 Oilers across Vats Ritzy Follows morn. (hardness) scale Banish City, Alberta He was "The plant Greatest” Topographic. Hydro project Bay Grievous affliction Type of fastener Red wax coated Sidestep Bonnets 22. Egg on cheese Also called wildebeests “For --- a jolly good fellow" Prince Albert e.g. . Upbraid Eye related . Bouquet in Blue” ‘wages: Money power Semirigid substance . Of the Shoshonean stock Remnants Canadian Barn Act: 1907 Hold one’s own “Bring home" Immediate: medical . Biblical judge Word of agreement Little creatures tt Half way Debt e.g Miserables” “It was just in Canadian wallboard type Noblemen below marquis hat, white tie. Dullard A garden of the past . Therefore to the Grows in 15 across 47. Schiepp 48. Symbolized by a lightbulb Poisonous mid-west 49. Abnormal membranous ‘al chart 52. Bullring accolade 53 Easy or certain course YOU JUST CANT TALK TO ANIMALS ABOUT TWESE THINGS ; WF IVE LEARNED ONE THING RAISE THE ANTE WIGH ENOUGH, | WHATS YouR | Two BUCKS T DONT KNOW WHICH [5S WORSE, = TWAT EVERYONE HAS HIS PRICE, OR THAT THE PRICE IS ALWAYS LOW. SHE'S MAO BECAUSE I BROKE HER CODE THAT I WAS.. (A _— — 1, LOOKING To THE Day X FORWARD WHEN 206 WOULD LEARN To WALK ('M STARTING MY VERY OWN CLUB AND YOU CAN'T AFTER AN ANIMAL, LIKE THE ELKS CLUB? 1 By Rick Detorie MOM JOE'S BEING UNCOOPERATIVE / R YOU MEAN “FUZZY”