How to Out-Fox a Fox ... or the sad, sad story of Jonas McGuillicuddy! Old Jonas McGuillicuddy was as shrewd as a fox with sixteen college degrees, including one from Harvard. He took great pride in bragging far and wide how he could stretch a dollar bill further than anybody. Jonas was a farmer, and a good one. He was as careful with his tools and equipment as a mother cat with her kittens. But . . . one day he broke the handle out of his garden hoe . . . went to town to look for a new one... and ain't been the same ever since Jonas bought most of his hardware stuff from a guy named Willard Davis. He'd run the store for thirty years, and knew everybody for miles around. Awful quiet fellow. Wouldn't get excited if his hair caught on fire. “Need a hoe, Willard,”” Jonas said. “Whataya got in a good hoe for not too much money?” Willard hauled out three hoes and laid ‘em on the counter. Before he could say a word, Jonas picked up one and remarked that it was just like his old hoe. “How much?” Jonas wanted to know. "$13.79," said Willard. “Too much,” said Jonas. “Oh?” said Willard. “Too much,” repeated Jonas. “Why | can get the same darn hoe exactly from Whoozis and Whatzis for $13.49, ‘cause | looked in their catalog before I came to town. That's a whole 30 cents cheaper than your price!” Willard didn’t say anything for a minute. Just chewed a couple of times on his pipe. Finally he said, “Jonas, | ain't going to argue with you. You're a good customer. My “ price of $13.79 is fair and square . . . but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll sell you that hoe ‘mail order catalog style.” “Let me get this right, Willard, you'll sell me this here goe for just what it'd cost me by mail?” “For you, Jonas, | will.” “It's a deal!” Jonas barked, before Willard could back down. “Here’s your $13.49.” He grabbed the hoe and started for the door. “Hold on, Jonas, you owe me just a little more money,” Willard said quietly. “How so?” Jonas wanted to know. “Well, said Willard, and he started to grin “it'd cost you 36 cents for a stamp to send in your order. That's $13.85 right there. As Jonas started to turn purple, Willard wenton... “and then it'll cost your $3.00 more return postage from Montreal on your hoe. That's $16.85 and that’s what you owe me.” Ever see a fox in a trap? He'll look everywhere for a hole to sneak out of. But, Willard had plugged every hole and old Jonas was caught fast. He knew it, too. Jonas was breathing a little hard as he hammered $16.85 down on the counter. Willard thanked him, nice as could be. Once more Jonas reached for the hoe. “Git your Agnds off that hoe, Jonas!” Willard said. He was grinning again. “You_know darn well what kind of service you get from catalog outfits!” Willard took the hoe out of Jonas’ stun- ned fingers, and laid it back on the shelf. “Come in two weeks from now, Jonas, and you can have it!” RSy\ », aa Castlégar News Display Advertising 365-5210 Delivers the competition o POWER with iL Pe ee to handle 14,1 Ibs.1 STIHL 064 new 1-2 combintation, MORE The. 199 Columbia Ave., lumbia (Wine House) “voli Whe: new. Stihl 064 packs-more i wee 239 engine but weighs in at an easy SPECIAI ANNOUNCEMENT Deborah Wetter & Shannon Semonoff © 05 c0. 14.1 the Kootenay Hair Show", May 3. FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE WE WILL BE OPEN THIS MONDAY, MAY 18 New %2:2077 York TWO Raleigh Gran Prix bicycles, D apeods 160 each, ‘good con: wane Phone 365-788) tin/22 JOHNNY'S Buy of the Week TOP tr 6 j $60. 12-yd. loads, $100. Pou! legebakolt, 359-7926. CRESTON TURF Over 10.000 sq.t. PHONE 428-2686 _ USED GUNS bought and sold Wises Hardware, 5171, tin 93 Photocopyi Reductions ond enlargements - up toll'x17 Kel Print Stationery Tee Courtyard Downtown tqvare 4-PCE. DRUM SET, $250; La: sailboat, $1,100; _motorbil 81XR100, $350. 365-3969. 7. RATES AND INFORMATION Rates First 10 Words $3.75 Additional Words 20¢ 3 insertions for Price of 2 7 Insertions for Price of 4 Special Reduced Rates for 13x, 18x, 26x, 52x, 104x ere Also Available Special Rates ore for Consecutive Insertions Attention Getters 25¢ for each time ad appears (Minimum charge 75¢.) Legal Ads Word ads: 20¢ per word tor one insertion; 15¢ per word for subsequent consecutive insertions. Minimum charge is for 20 words. Legal boxed ads 64¢ per agate line for one in sertion, 48€ per agate line tor subsequent consecutive inser tions Payment Policy Payment may be made by cash, cheque or Visa and MasterCard credit cards. It is not advisable to send cash through the mail. Classitied Ads may be charged, but a $1 billing charge will be made it e ad is not paid for seven dove ofter it first appears (This $1 charge does NOT ap. ply to Visa ond MasterCard charges.) —) VISA a Action Ads Deadline “Word Ads” EOD CASNEWS loon Tuesday SUNDAY CASNEWS 11 a.m. Friday Classified Display Ads Deadline ‘Boxed Ads" SNEDNESO AY, cenews o.m. Tuesday SUNDAY CASNEWS ‘a.m. Friday Order by Mail Print your Action Ad on a separate piece of paper and mail to: Action Ads Box 3007 CASTLEGAR, B.C VIN 3H. The Castlegar News reserves the right to classify ads under appropriate headings and to determine page location must comply with the British Columbia Human Rights Act. This Act states no advertisement may limitation, or specitic the basis of on appticont's race, religion, colour, marital status, ancestry, place of origin, age, sex (unless the matter relates to the m TRANSMISSION, Chev 4 spd. Society od. wanderd, Yurbe 0° ete. 3437-9th Ave. GOLF CARTS and trailers. New shipment. Call Nick 365-5808. mud terrain T/A's ri letter. $550. 365-3674. Special!!! Armstrong MEDIUM “A Classy Salon in the Suburb" * Advanced Hair Design. perm and color techniques © Our Workmanship is Guaronteed 365-3077 Ans. Service SEAMLESS 5" GUTTERS BR Heavy gouge aluminum, con wot 5-year leakproot guoran- POI ea a —_ t0*. Free estimates. Call Mr. TOPSOIL, road and cement Gutter. 365-3240, 104,23 ravel, drainrock, ‘and sand: jackhoe sel Legebokott. Ph. 359-7926. ar 22 SEEDS Seamless HANNAS SEEDS LIMITED path tedipredar Gutters Toll Free 1-800-661-1529 4° or 5" heavy gauge painted aluminum ALFALFAS * CLOVERS 5-year leak proot guarantee. GRASSES * CANOLA Large Discounts Available! Call Mr. Gutter 365-3240 ASPARAGUS 7 Donald's South, Nursery noad Grand Forks, 442-5331 7/34 We Recharge <= Automobile @ BEDDING PLANTS for sole. Dit. AIR fer ‘ent ayarieties 810 Highway Blueberry Creek. tn/40 CONDITIONING GARDENING © UNITS FOR RENT PHONE 365-5051 ‘ Very Reasonable Rates TRAIL APPLIANCE REPAIR ‘yrinseosay? 1055 Columbia Ave., Castlegar EVERYTHING IS AVAILABLE NOW , CRUSHED GRAVEL (for road AT TROWELEX This Space RB US INES PLUG INTO THE CLASSIFIEDS - For More Information Call Display Dept. 365-5210 is Available by Lynn Johnston ' THOUGHT They MGHT uae TO HAVE... Re I'M GIVING : teonies f EACH Heavy duty all-purpose plastic pails with tight-fitting covers and handles. Need cleaning. $1.50 each. CASTLEGAR NEWS ¥ Ave. "ian Bom and si Brocuad CompuTERZED WATER A | BioGuard Swimmi am Sate filters, heaters, motors, pumps and more. We al LL GARY tull line of chemicals. 968-7209 2706 Centre Ave.. Blueberry Creek VALK YR AQUATICS ANTIQUE bedroom 1 crib without mattress, TV., stroller all in good conditon. 365. ar RUSSELL AUCTION HOUSE New & Used Furniture for Sale Phone 399-4793 1979 GMC %-T. camper special New toilet, harvest gold. 365- 7971. eee 7 +) Hotpoint Air Conditioner Pre-Season Sale 5,000 BTU Reg. $399.95 Good Selection of Other Models & Sizes in Stock Columbia SERVING CASTLEGA| & AREA FOR 44 YEARS! WEEKEND WORK NO EXTRA CHARGE FREE ESTIMATES SENIORS & CASH DISCOUNTS * Loading & Hauling * Back Hoe Work * Road Gravel * Concrete Gravei * Sand * Drain Rock © Top Soil Thanks for Your Patronage KINNAIRD TRANSFER tr. Ph. 365-7124 Appliance L READERS of the Castlegar News the ing Pool Chemicals For all your pool maintenance needs, call the experts! We install ALMGND Tridge Tove condition, asking $600. Ph. 365- 5894 evenings. 3/ Iso carry a PROVINCE-WIDE CLASSIFIED $129 APPLE PLUS ft cempurer. monitor, printer. $750. Phone af ter 6 p.m. 362-5955. 3/38 $0 FOR CASH! Coll us for details! 365-5210 se MOFFAT Deluxe range, syorking condition, evailable, in June. $40. 365 FIVE lifejack: cneried sizes), $8 each. 365. stat “ B exe berehip in the Br Yokon Com, unity Newspaper Assn. are of fered the most comprebi and. cost-efficient. advertising Program ever. For $129 per lace your 25 word “blanket” classified ad in more than 920,000 homes. Your Action Ad-will appear in over 80 WE CAN HELP YOU BE WORTH MORE TOMORROW THAN YOU ARE TODAY! inonciel Counnetling with more than 2.75 million readers! And there is a $10 discount tor cash. Call our Action Ad number 365-2212 tor details tin/87 BLACK SANDY LOAM TOPSOIL Call 365-3315 WILL PAY CASH for green black bear hides. Phone 365-3632 evenings, 365-6327. Grifone Taxidermy, 37 1055 Columbia Ave. Castlegar 365-5051 (Beside W.K. Power) FOR SALE: School bus seats Idea! ter patios or poo! side. $25 each. Phone 365-3; or 365. 6485. tins 1 2x4 & 2x6 HL it. $140, "Bedding Plants Now in Stock OPEN SUNDAYS ARROW BUILDING 240-6th Ave. 365-2175 Call 365-3315 $132, minimum service charge SUPER FUN TRAMPOLIN| for outlying areas. 365-2600. 13° money-back guarantee $995. tin/20 Ph. 365. PUBLIC NOTICE Greyhound Lines of Canada Ltd. announces that an has been made to the Motor Carrier Commission to change application Passenger fares as follows (a) Upwardly adjust the standard adult one-way fare five percent, not to exceed two dollars and fifty cents per ticket. Effective: June 15, 1987 (b) Mid-Week fare and one-half Excursion for round-trips between points served intra provincial. Effective: October 17, 1987 to December 17, 1987 and from January 18, 1988 to March 17, 1988 inclusive Mid-Week round-trip Excursion fares will be valid for the going portion of the trip; Monday to Thursday and the return trip will be allowed any day of the week within the limit of the ticket Limit of ticket will be 14 days in addition to date of sale. Any objections to this application may be filed with: The Superintendent of the Motor Carriers, 4240 Manor Street, Burnaby, British Columbia, V5G 3X5, on or before June 1, 1987 ig ahs Branch). USED R.V. SALE & OPEN HOUSE Saturday, May 23 LET'S DEAL! coop prices Popo PARKLAND TENT CAMPER USED MOTOR HOMES 17’ Frontier 18 Aristocrat 21' Otto 26' Citation 23' Itasca Class A USED VAN CONVERSIONS 81 Frontier Maxi Van ‘81 XTC Van Bring Your Trades MIKE'S MOBILE HOMES LTD. Castlegar a JACK L. PARKIN Bus. 365-6664 © Res. 365-2694 ted Ag gf!) Mutual Lite of canada (] Mutual Investco i € oes TV, color, good coat ion. $199. 365-5365. 38 G&G WOODWORK wooo WINDOWS & DOORS * CABINETS * CUSTOM FURNITURE © INTERIOR FINISHING © GARAGE DOORS Soles Repairs GRAHAM READ RIM to fit tire size 145 SRI3 ie ik new Oe, seyete. car, any Alternator $20. Ph. = BonaK 10 Ibs. ageeryeaiy grown rhuborb S04 perry. ph plants, KS 186 /doe "3 French $2.00 . 6239, 3/38 10. GREEN beddin, Nant troys, x24", 308 wach. 965-3701. FLOOR LAMP and table ane, beeord set, $15. 21°21" fan, pile a 3/38 ‘ond each item must have a price stated. We will run your ad tor 3 issues. REGISTERED tiny silverti p reacup poodles for sale. 365-67 780.3 222- jenn aciieger LADIES 18” Kuwahora mountain bik: . Excellent conan. I p.m. New Concept In Feeding Now Available SELF FEEDING BLOCKS 25 Kg. Blocks for Horses, Dairy and Beet ARROW BUILDING - AUCTION | Estate & Antique Sale Location Russell Auction House Thrums, 8 Miles North of Castlegar on Hwy. 3A Sunday, May 24 Castlegar. 365-2178 + Trot 268- Sharp USED TRAILERS 13’ Boler 14’ American 15° Aristocrat 15% Vanguard 16’ Travelmate 16' Scamper 17’ Scamper 18’ Layton 18% Vanguard 20 Layton 21 Prowler 21 Free Spirit 22 Triple E 23 Vanguard 25 Prowler Dealer 5012 WIDE CHOICE OF NEW 1987 MOTOR HOMES & TRAILERS 10: OFF PARTS & ACCESSORIES Saturday Only Phone: 365-5741 Antique Furniture is in Very Good Condition — PARTIAL LIST ONLY — FURNITURE 8-Pce Walnut DR. Set 5-Pce. Duncan & Fite Diningroom Set — Butfet & Hutch — 5-Pce. Villo Maple D.R. Set _ ied 3-Pec — Chit Maple Bunkbeds Dressers with Mirrors Chests of Drawers Chestertields and Chairs Small Writing Desk ~ Ook Chairs EQUIPMENT 16-1. Self-Contained Trailer — Toro 770 Riding Lawn Mower 1976 Plymouth Fury, 4-Dr 1976 175 cc. Harley Dovidson cTION = ** 3: Open SSELL Mon.-Set. Hwy. 3A, Thrums sal 4793 GLASSWARE —_10-Pce. Setting, Noritake China — Old English, Victorian Crystal & Nippon Royal Alber!, Royal Bayreuth jueer nn and Depression Gloss Steamer Trunks — Linen, Comera & Equip. Lomps and Pictures APPLIANCES Deep Freeze Washer and Dryer Spin Washer Dishwashers PLUS MANY MORE MISCELLANEOUS HOUSEHOLD ITEMS |