Bruce

Levett

Well — it had to come.

George and Debbie — he in Texas and she in Arizona
— met by computer. Long-distance, they courted by
computer. ‘

And when finally they met, they married by
computer.

Doubtless the day will come when they will announce
a blessed event by computer.

(Didn't you take precautions? Of course I did — but
the stupid computer crashed.) :

To explain, George and sundry others were chatting,
on their home computers — sort of like a conference call

When wedding bells finally rang, the minister
intoned the ceremony to an assistant who typed the)
words into a computer terminal.

The news item that announced the electronic love
story said “it could only huppen in the computer age” and
that it was an occasion. “to gladden the hearts of all

Big deal. In my day we used the typewriter for our
courting.

The swain, down on the main floor, typed a note
hinting at all manner of forbidden delights (face it —

The note, rolled up, was consigned to a plastic
container. This was inserted into a pipe — called “tubes”|
—and wafted aloft by compressed air. ,

At the message centre, several floors up, was
stationed the object of the affections. Her job was to|
route the various: incoming messages.

Hastily, she scanned the billet-doux, blushed, and|
crammed it into the smock pocket.

At lunchtime, in the dark recesses of the file room,
rendezvous took place. “ive

“Suppose someone had intercpeted the note?” she
breathed. :

Young love, of course, scoffs at such unworthy fears.

Then it happened. Word went swiftly through the|
building that the tubes were out of order. Do not use the
tubes until the messages already trapped within can be
retrieved.

Messages already trapped within?

that for one entire, uncertain week. a
Undoubtedly, the whole thing is much more efficient|
using the computer as they do today.
But looking back, I wouldn't have missed that week
of agony and anguish for all the bits and bytes in the|
Id.

| Want 70. SUE MY REICHIATRIST FoR
_ MALPRACTICE! b}

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ELUM | Dedicated tokindh
BOB THE GUTTER MAN
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9 Mana-
ger; CIRCULATION DEPART.
MENT, Elaine Sallis,