day, ‘February 12, 1992 Remember your =) e Sweetheart on w Valentine's Day Friday Feb. 14, 1992 CARNATIONS 510.98/Dozen Assorted ; Colours. Per Stem. ea. 7 ROSES $44.00/Dozen . & & Long Stem Florist Quality 3°° Per Stem. GIANT ey 9 Hershey's Chocolate. 198g Oceans — ae * Rake ont OEP Be cee OCEANS LIGHT TUNA ers g tin. ea. Kraft. Regular or Light. 1 L. Limit 1. Over limit price 3.98 ea. PORK SIDE SPARERIBS Thawed fo Convanience.c: i 3.28/ kg ROUND ROAST Outside. Boneless. Cut from Canada Grade A - Beef. 4.37/ kg Ib ee egular Quality. Approx. 10 Ib. bog. Limit 1 228] 34/ kg Ib Selected Colours and sizes. Safeway Brand. SEEDLESS GRAPES Red. Product of Chile. No. 1 Grade. 1.70/ kg Ib. Bie Mon.-Wed., Sat. HOURS: 9:00 a.m.-6:00 p.m. Thursday & Sn 9:00 a.m.-9:00 p.m. Sunday W009. 90-Dt- (G9) SAFEWAY Advertised prices in effect until closing Saturday Feb. 15, 1992 at your Castlegar Safeway Store. Quantity rights reserved. @ Wednesday, February 12, 1992 uvPEOPLE 4! Scott David Harrison EDITOR Prison life is hard. I know. That reality came crashing home when I was carted off to jail like some kind of heifer off to market. No trial, no jury — my sentence was handed down in a Machiavellian manner that still has my honest-to-the-core body shaking. Pippin’s Pub Penitentiary became my Home Not-So-Sweet Home Monday as I tried to adjust to my new life...inside the joint. I became jaded quickly, thanks to an uncaring judge named Jean Sullivan who had one eye on the Hi- Arrow switchboard and the other on my personal belongings. Despite my best efforts, my pleas of innocence fell on deaf ears as Judge Sullivan and her henchmen whisked me away like some. stain on a Scotchguarded carpet. Without even reading me my rights, I was locked behind bars to learn the chorus to Swing Low, Swing Chariot. The charge: Picking on the Mayor and Bad Grammar, a conviction that carries a one-to-five. The sentence: one (hour) of hard time. The gang inside the joint said I got off easy. And, considering some of the other offences, I did. I spent most of the time with Katrine Conroy, a harden criminal serving five (hours) for indecent exposure. The administrator of the Kootenay Columbia Child Care Society took her time in stride, though, refusing to wilt under the hard conditions. But Conroy wasn’t the only one in the crow-bar hotel. I was crowded into dungeon-like conditions with some of Castlegar’s most feared sons ri Times were tough for Celgar workers-turned- criminals Pat Patterson (left) and Bill Donaldson. The unsuspecting pair were carted off into the-slammer by cop Gerald Lemcke Monday. Patterson was convicted of impersonating a safety officer, while Donaldson was arrested for — get this — not scheduling his own arrest. News photo by Glen Freeman and daughters. Take The Sandman’s Lee Bayer, for example. Bayer — or Pops as us inmates called him — was serving one for playing pool without a licence. Then there’s Selkirk College’s Poul Henriksen; a nasty hombre serving one for Impersonating Mr. Nice Guy. CKQR Radio’s Murray David Collins was the worst, though. Even the warden didn’t mess with Godfather Collins. So powerful was the Godfather, he sent members of his radio family to serve his time — all five hours The more criminals Katrine Conroy (seated left) saw on Monday, the happier she was. The more prisoners — even innocent ones like me —Conroy saw, the money that would be raised for the Variety Club and the Kootenay Columbia Child Care Society: In all, $1,600 was raised at the Pippin’s Pub Penitentiary. worth. longer I would have mastered the My biggest f€ar was Collins harmonica, negotiated for cheaper would sick one of his “men” on me beer, ran into Mike Tyson and — some fellow named Bubba, eager played the leading role in the to rub my shoulders, hand me a_ Castlegar version of Jail House cigarette and call me his boy toy. Rock. Life as a jailbird wasn’t easy. I My brief stay in the Big House thought. of escaping, but I couldn’t did serves a purpose, though. For trust any of my fellow heathens to $20, someone got to lock me‘up for share in a tunnel. one hour in the name of charity. I was alone in this hell hole, left Me and my fellow inmates fell to rely on the street savvy I victim to Castlegar’s latest Variety acquired while growing up in that Club Telethon fundraising drive. tough tourist town of Courtenay. This year’s telethon — which Five minutes into my sentence, I begins Saturday — has special began to adjust. I considered getting meaning to Castlegar. The Variety a tattoo, but I had to be back at the Club has announced that it will office in 55 minutes. match our city’s donations to help Slowly, prison life began to with the completion of a children’s change me. Knowing no one in care centre for the Kootenay Cellblock P was named Bubba, I let Columbia Child Care Society. my guard down. _ Local fundraisers are hoping “Picking on the mayor,” one fellow Castlegar will give $10,000. Thanks said, “you’re lucky you weren’t to e generosity of dozens of sentenced a term on city council.” accusers some $1,600 was raised at Abbh... the.expense of prisoners like me. Life in the joint wasn’t that bad, And while I understand that my all things consider. In fact, it was a sentence was served with the best of lifestyles that I could get used to. intentions, I can’t promise to go For example, bread and water legit. The bittersweet taste of prison was scrapped in favor of beer and life is still too fresh in my memory. burgers. Why, even the prison I can only hope that this entertainment was top-notch — one traumatic experience can be hour of uninterrupted Olympic forgotten when I discover just who coverage on a big-screen T.V. Go had the audacity to accuse me a Canada Go! such a heinous act like picking on Yah, prison life was rough —_ the mayor. NOT! Here’s hoping it’s no one named I’m sure if my sentence was Bubba.