C2 CASTLEGAR NEWS, September 5, 1979 (Community Closeup:. / S HILLS — Photographs by Al Decima DENNIS DECI at home in the pool ea TS BEE Sore FRED and NELLIE VANIN. .. making o community bench and brushing up on some strokes CS 2 WELL, here it is, Tuesday afternoon, time to write the column. I could have written . it last. Friday, or Sunday morning after church, or any day during the past three weeks of holidays. But I couldn’t. I write my column on Tuesday afternoon, rush to the post office, plead with the clerk to squeeze it into the outgoing bag. Summer or winter, working or vacation. I try to write it on a ‘Thursday evening, a Monday morning, there’s a complete block. Blank paper, vacuum mind. Especially in summer, when I have enough time to crank out a couple of vol- umes ofthe Encyclopedia Brittanica, That's why the summer columns. don't have one single, brilliant theme, lucid- ly expostulated, witty, strik- ing a single, singing note ina muddled world. They usually come out as a kind of shot- gun effort. There are too many distractions. _ A couple of promiscuous bluebirds have proliferated on our property. There are now five juveniles of the same species, shrieking blue- bird imprecations from five different trees, driving out the song-birds of yesteryear. This morning, we had one of those real, old-fashioned summer storms. Darkness at noon. The gods bowling in the heavens with tremendous is that rumbled, crashed, and reverberated down the empty halls of the black sky: Bolts of lightning straight from Zeus that hit, you " swear, twenty feet from your giant oak. Blinding rain, cars driving, tights on, as though they were fording the Ganges. 2 1 love storms, ever since the one that put a pine tree- top through the roof of our cottage, when I was seven, and everybody calling, “‘Where’s Billy?” and fin- ding Billy standing against. "one of the remaining walls, scared speechless and grin- ning like and idiot. Or the one on the Lakes, when sev- eral ships went down, and the captain was puking in his second-best hat, and every dish in the galley was smash- d, ‘ More distractions in sum- mer. Rotten kids. Card from son Hugh in Paraguay. He'd - previously written for five copies of his birth certificate, and copies of his student. transcripts from U. of T. and Dalhousie, because he might be going to university in Paraguay or Toronto or In- dia or Cuba. Card: says, “‘Massage and English classes going well.’’ What the hell does that mean? ymmer vacation dist Phone call from daughter, who's off to Moosonce to teach music: to Indian kids. Doesn't know how to get there. Doesn't know how to get furniture shipped, .what to take, why, what, where, how much? So guess who sorts all that out? Animals, birds and fishes have the right idea. Teach the offspring to fend for them- selvés, kick them out, and have some more. I wonder how many grandfather whales, or bears, or eagles; are still solving problems for their fully-grown children, and baby-sitting their grand- children? And in summer, of course, the daily mail, though a welcome break in the monot- ony, is distracting. Pleas, amounting almost to de mands, from relatives that you have to pay a visit, you" promised last winter. They don’t really want to see you, only make you listen to their problems, when all you want to listen to is the birds and the.click of a five-iron as you set it up by the pin. Not all bad. Nice letter from Jim Lamb of Nova Scotia, saying I’d helped in- spire his new book Press Gang, and that I am his favorite ‘columnist, along with Ted Reeve and Eric Nicol. Bless you, sir. Note from Bessie Doolan, 89, of Cereal, Alta.: ‘I attribute the smiles & chuckles I re- ceive from your column as a big ald to my longevity.!" And bless you, Bessie. Invite ractions can put your feet through the Noorboards and pedal with them; for mobility. Not quite like last summer, cruising the: capitals’ of . Europe, but fair-to-middlin’, if the old lady would get off my back about.- falling ,through the back stoop every noe she hangs out the wash- me to your hund and we'll dance together and defy the fates, if you don’t mind jigging with a guy with an ar- thritic foot that goes*whither * it wants. . Two proofs of a photo of yours truly, from Mike Boule of the Milton, Canadian Champion who dropped in one day to take a picture. Thanks, Mike, but ‘I think . you got your negatives mixed up. Surely this is a photo- graph of American. poet. Robert Frost when he:was. ° Just kidding. You got me, ‘ warts and all. Every crease, every wrinkle, the warped nose with the scars on it, the bump on my tip from the car crash when a piece of the lip tumed up missing during stir- gery, even the hairs. in my’ ears, which you might have. had the decency to trim ‘be- - fore you shot. Never mind, my wife likes it, probably because it makes me look old enough to be her . father. But she insists I don't have those bags under my eyes and wrinkles on my forehead. I must have been squinting into the sun, I point out. Anyway, it's the sort of face of which people say, When they can’t think of. another single thing, ‘‘It looks lived-in,”’ or, ‘‘There's alotof init.” No-name dilemma Proud father Garfield Woods, 28, and his wife Lynda, couldn't agree on a name for their son. So Woods bought a 221-word birth announce- ment ina daily newspaper — the announcements usually run about 40 words — to explain why his five-day-old son is still known as Name- less Woods in the maternity wing of a Toronto hospital. _, Woods said a child d ves a distinctive name and. wants to call his son Lucas Garrett. ° ‘But Mrs. Woods, 25, is insisting on Steven Law- rence. i She doesn’t mind distine- tive names. “But,” she said, “Lucas rhymes with mucous and that reminds me of having a cold.” But it’s been a good sum- mer. Twice I’ve gone out to ~ play golf and played with complete strangers who were worse duffers than J, despite their immaculate shirts and. slacks, and fancy equipment. Occasionally I go down to the dock, look at the $30,000 - to $100,000 boats, and chor-" tle when I. think of what they'll be worth when gas ra- tioning starts. And snicker and snicker when I drive up beside a Lincoln Continental - in my 1972 Ford so rusty you Aluminum . Sheets _ 24%"'x36" - 75¢Each - . (50¢ each In bundles of 25) CASTLEGAR NEWS MID-WEEK MIRROR 191 Columbia Avenue * Castlegar a “= SPECIALIST 4 FREE Estimates FREE Towin heer A. uithin a 20-mille ransmission Service Special! $28 INCLUDES: road test, remove pan, visual inspection, clean sump and screen, adjust bands ang {Ink- age, replace pan Gasket and fluld. jomatic Transmission Shift Kits in stock. . One-Day Service In most cases ) -3231 50 OE Benue (Opposite Safeway) FAS. ? Ze " AR aes The ) Castlegar News/Mid-Week Mirror | it; co-operation with Helen's Flowers & Comeras presents ‘Good Neighbour Salute lly good, kind, and Do you have ‘an Has Mirror. Send your tettera to: Write and tell us about It. 4) f: 5 The selected Good Neighbour of the Week will receive an arrarigement of flowers courtesy of HELEN’S FLOWERS & CAMERAS of 73 Maple St., Castiegar, along with the ‘Good Nelghbour’’ certificate from the Castlegar News/ Mid-Week GOOD NEIGHBOUR SALUTE ly gone out of his or.her way to help you? Box 3007 CASTLEGAR, B.C. % VIN SH4 others This week's Good Neighbor Salute goes to Lilian and Ernie Quarrie of Rossland. “She introduced herself by inviting us for dinner one evening,” Leslie K. Queen series of Mrs. Quarrie. “We spent hours enjoying each +++ As our fh d we started to go. out and do things together. Church was one of our together outings and she Introduced me to several people and made me feel very welcome. Since my gran- dparents are far away, this couple reminds me very much of them.” J The newlitle furnace that can gre One day HE.may be. rupoeates Se UCT UE ea TEENIE / Ann Landers = Dear Ann: | ami a 23-year-old female unlversity student :- Who shares a house with four-other gals ~ also grad students. Each of my roommates Is romantically Involved (sexually might be-a better word) with one or more males, On any given morning | never know who | will see across’ the breakfast table sharing corn flakes and bananas, : | Ive according to my Christlan upbringing and am embarrassed and offended by what goes on around here. 'f my parents knew. they would die, °° The dilemma: Since I'm the only one who doesn't engage In night-long bedroom gymnastics, do | have the right to ask my co-dwellers ‘to ‘Indulge thelr sexual appetites elsewhere? After ail, it’s my home, too. We get atong wall on every other score, From a flnanclal standpoint this arrangement is terrific -- and the location [s Ideal. | can't afford to get a place by myself or I'd have moved out after the first month. | am a reasonable person and would.appreciate your advice, E - == No Prude, J! Dear Decent: Twenty-twenty hindsight Is useless — but you should have discussed ‘‘Ilfestyle’? before you became part the friendly fivesome.” You have no right to impose your standards of conduct on your friends. If you are offended to the point where you are miserabie, then scout around for another group whose lifestyle is more In tune with yours. Dear Ann: Recently a reader from Alatama wrote about & new doll for children — ‘‘Gay.Bob."’ She was appalled at.the degree to which had been t Decent FOI SSR RAIA AR Bridge Beat By JOY KEILLOR Slam B: Your ability to bida slam depends almost entirely upon how ‘thoroughly you have mastered your basics in bridge and ‘has been called the “post graduate” course in Contract Bridge. By this is meant that all of the carly bidding'has to be very accur- ate. If any one'of your carly bids, has. been inaccurate, then.slam bidding cannot be accurate, To bid a slam, you must think well about the follow- ing four points before it is too late: « : 1. POINT COUNT — for a no trump slam — 83 high card points in the combined hands will normally produce six no trump, and 87 high card points seven no trump. In suit slams,,83 points and 87 points will also produce! suit slams, howéver, you may add distribution points for short suits. 2, TRUMP. SUIT — You must The writer fumed, ‘‘The manufacturer of the doll is a New York executive who must have lost his marbles the laat tlme he went through the Bermuda Triangle." . Your response was one of total cynicism. "Gay Bob?"’ you quipped. ‘'I'll believe it when | gee It. ‘well, you'd better believe It because Gay Bob Is now available In some fairly reapactable retail stores. i | Just read a newspaper story on Gay Bob and saw.a, pleture of him, coming out the closet and caressing another male. It seyms the dolls (complete with wardrobe) were first offered through mall-order ads, but now they are appearing everywhere. ‘ gai |! herewith enctose the article which gave me an Excedrln headache. het g — Bryan College Station, Tex.. Dear Tex.: Thanks for the article. | received 112 at last count and they are still coming In. | hope your headache Is gone by the time you read this. (P.8. That crunching sound you hear Is me — eating my words.) Dear Ann: Our church auxiliary has a dinner dance four tlmes a year. There are usually five or six husbands who can’t dance, won't dance, have prostate trouble, arthritis or a hernia. The wives of these men think nothing of coming up to the good dancers and taking them over. This means women like me are stuck with non-dancers who are also res. : zi Last night | told my husband I'd had it and he sald, ‘‘Sorry, | can't refuse when a lady asks me to dance.’* We got Into an argument. It ended with him saying, “Learn to live with it." Am | unreasonable? — Sideline Sally Dear S.S.: Your enjoys with those dollles so you might as well be gracious about it. y be.the ruptured.duck.and.you. might! want to borrow a husband.. : have a p ful trump suit Patients should know their rights SPARC olB.C. Relrase e The Patient's Book: A Guide for Preparing to Use Hospital Services in British Columbia is now available. This handy, illustrated 20-page booklet aims at help- ing patients — before they have begun treatment — to become aware of their rights and responsibilities in using hospital services throughout the province. The main focus of the book is to encourage people ‘to take an active role in their own health care. Patients must recognize that they, not - the doctor, the nurse or the administrator, make the final decisions about their medical treatment, The Patient's Book was prepared by a voluntary committee of the Social Plan- ning and Review Council of B.C. Copies are available for Bulk: ratesyavailable,.on - Tequest, far ‘1 .or have discovered a good trump suit that fits with your partner's hand. M y 8. ACES — You shoulf not bid a small slam’ if your opponents can take two aces, You will need to find out how many aces your partner has and sometimes kings, 4. Don't-risk a grand slam unless it is “ice cold” meaning . that all the aces and kings are accounted for. To bid a small’, slam, it is worth taking a small chance, STOP AND THINK. - BIDS (that frequently lead to a‘slam,) demand bid 2 — Double raises 8'— Jump shifts 4— A no‘trump jump Whenever your partner makes one of these bids, stop and: ask yourself, ‘Have I, enough extra. strength to make a slam try?” Ifyou have and the suit in which the combined hands will play best has been discovered, you are then ready to explore for the -necessary controls ‘ (aces and kings). Blackwood Slam Convention | This. is the simplest of slam exploritory conven- tions. ‘ ra .__ You bid FOUR NO TRUMP which asks, “part- ner, how many aces do you hold?” sone RESPONSES: + Five elub: zero or all 1 =~ The opening two: four aces Hive diamonds — one ace Five hearts — two aces Five spades -- throe aces i * Tf “all” the acos ‘are accounted for, the Blackwood Convention continues asking for ‘kings.. This is done by t/1e bid of five no trump by th: bidder that originally bid four no . trump. RESPONSES: Six clubs — zero kings Six diamonds — one king Six hearts — two kings Six spades — three kings Six. no trump .— ‘four kings» © After your ace showing’ response to the four no ‘trump bid, your partner will not bid five no trump (asking for kings) unless considering bidding seven (a grand slam), If your partner has no desire to’ reach seven, he will bid six.in the trump suit or six no trump, or, will stop at ‘five if you do: not have sufficient, aces. * Warning: The four no trump: bidder should not bid four no trump. when the trump suit decided upon is clubs, unless he is prepared to bid six if his partner shows only one ace. ‘The reason is obvious.as the * responding hand with one ace monde which 1 contract of must bid five shuts out a five clubs. in LEGAR NEWS, September 5, 1979 Child abuse program B.C. Tel last week began placing special decals on more than 4,000 coin tele- phones throughout the prov- ince-to nasiat British Colum- blans in reporting incidents of child abuse. Mike ‘Reigh, coin tele- phone manager, said the decals are being placed on coin telephones in every out- door booth in B.C., as ‘well as those units located in bus depots, hospitals, laundro- mats, public libraries and schools, eto “As a policy, we do not put any type of sticker on our coin telephones,” Reigh said. Reigh sa{d-B.C. Tet has worked ‘closely with the’ ministry of human-resources ‘since the infant stages of the “Helpline” to put the Zenith line Into effeet, On Aug. 10 the ministry began operating the 24-hour, . : oll free telephone nutnber — ad a cilia enith 1234 —~ to which n complaints about child abuse NORTH SHORE aerate and neglect in B.C, can be SERVICE ALA. No. 4 reported by any citizen... /' Oeaterticence No ocaasd 2 Earl’s Private Poolsis. 365-6774 Camplete Line of Pools,:: ‘Chemicals & Accessories. K KOOTENAY KAWASAKI _ > ls Now Open in Trail — Located on the ald Warieta Road, acrops from Waneta Plaza — 3 is proud to that they are the new dealers n for KAWASAKI ycles, and Full parts and service, Monday through Saturday —9a.m. to B'p.m. “We also carry snowklowers"” +. Owners of smaller businesses The Federal Business Development Bank Carn e Financial assistance e Management counselling (CASE, e Mahagement training e@ Information on government ograms' for business provide you with: See’ our Representative B. G. (Bryan) Malcolm at: Monte Carlo Motor trin Castlegar, B.C.. ' ‘Tel. 365-2177. ON: September 11, 1979 (Branch Oifice Address) 30- 11th Ave. 5. Cranbrook, B.C. 426-7241 Land and Mobile Home Park for Sale by Tender LOCATED ON SILVER KING ROAD AND, COTTONWOOD CREEK, NELSON, B.C. 11.7 Acres The Ministry of Lands, Parks and Housing invites of- fers by sealed tender for the following property: 1910 SILVER KING ROAD, NELSON, B.C. Legally described a: Amended Lot 46, District Lot 304, Plan 2305, Kootenay District. Improvements: oe ; NATALIE and DARLENE CHERNOFF . . . relaxing at home reduce your fuel oil consumption. The new Esso Econoblue ta floor space, Yet it is'd d for y. Its oil-fired, forced air system uses a better mixture of air and oil vapour for more complete combusion. And be- cause the mixture is also recycled, you get more heat out of every drop of oll, re Let's say your old furnace works at 66% efficiency. Econoblue could reduce its oil consumption by 20%. This means if you now use.750 gallons of fuel a year, Econoblue could save you 150 gallons. In five years you could save a whole year's fuel supply. ees ce f your furnace Is getting old or starting to act up, it may be time to re- place it. And replacing it with an Esso Econoblue makes a whole lot of sense. The. Esso Econoblue costs about the same as a conventional oil furnace—to. buy and install. kes up only 3% sq. ft. of i vel _ 5 DAYS ONLY: y through Esso Home Comfort. We'll replace your old furnace with a new Econoblue oil furnace, adapt an airtight wood furnace to your present installation, or install a combination airtight wood and Econoblue oil furnace. — Plus — _We'll Give You *100°° "Trade-in allowance for your old furnace. © Licenced ofl-bumer mechanics © 24-Hour NO-HEAT service © Plumbing & Heating Specialists HOME COMFORT ; : "THE PERFORMANCE PEOPLE. - H.N. “Harry” Smith . OIL DISTRIBUTORS LTD. KINNAIRD HOME HEAT + Service Limited P| ly 3 acres developed as a Mobile Home Park containing 10 pads, 8 currently rented. Remaining area (+8.7 acres) underdeveloped. Traversed by Cottonwood Creek. All tenders must be sealed and clearly marked on the envelope "Tender — Offer to Purchase — Cot- tonweod Mobile Home Park, Nelson, 8.C.". and must be delivered before 12:00 noon on September 24, 3979, to: Mr. Frank Bertoia Acting Regional Director Ministry of Lands, Parks and Housing No. 103, 135 - 10th Avenue South CRANBROOK, B.C. . . VIC 2N} Tenders must be accompanied by a certified cheque, or money order, in the amount of $1,000.00 made payable to the of . The highest, or any tender, will not necessarily be ac- cepted. The sale of this property is under the terms of the “Residential Tenancy Act.” Except as ex- bresed above, the property Is offered for sale “as is." else” ee men, repairing the mill Attention: Amateur Photographers . .. introduce your neighborhood to the community - We supply 35mm flim ana financial bonus! TED FITCHETT “Terms and Conditions of.Sale" and "Form of Ten- der" documents may be obtained from the office of the Acting Reglonat Director at the above address. P i 1 tired to obtain a Prosp Pp are req copy of same before submitting bids. - - 601 - 6th Ave. S. Castlegar 365-5185 365-3650 Province of British Columbia Ministry of Lands, Parks and Housing HONOURABLE JAMES R. CHABOT, MINISTER For details, Trail area phone 368-9800, Nelson . area phone 352-9900, Castlegar and all other areas phone 365-3517 (from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.).