Rage 6B

The C

Sun

Wednesday, September &. 1992

Wednesday, September 2, 1992

The Castlegar Sun

Page 7B

‘Woman searches for son she has not seen since 1973

Dear Ann Landers: My hus-
band and I were divorced in
1973. "Cliff" refused to sign the
‘divorce papers unless | agreed to

Yet him keep our son, "Steve,"
~who was then one- year old. At

time, I didn't have a job or
S@pough moncy to take Cliff to
teourt and fight for custody.
{When I took a job out of state,
| Cliff agreed to keep in touch and
{let me know how our son was
“doing.

Cliff kept in touch only spo-
radically and never contacted
anyone else in my family. Every
year my grandmother bought
Christmas, Easter and birthday
cards for Steve, but she never
was able to give them to him
because Cliff never visited her.
Enclosed in these cards were sav-
ings bonds in various amounts.

: Grandma told me not to give
these cards to Steve until he
turned 18 because she was afraid
Cliff and his new wife would
cash the bonds and keep the

them? Will you please help me?-

- Needing Info in Pensacola

Dear Pensacola: Contact the
Salvation Army. They do a
splendid job of tracking down
missing persons. You can rely on
the Salvation Army to honor both
your wishes and those of the per-
son you are trying to find. They
will never betray you or violate a
confidence.

Please let me know if you find
your son. I'm sure my readers
would be very much interested.

Dear Ann Landers: I enjoyed
the column you did about how
American women are obsessed
with their weight, but it mad¢ me
wonder if you fully realize how
women are being sabotaged by
the advertising establishment that
tells us we are nothing unless our
bodies are perfect.

We are living in a society in
which women are being brain-
washed to feel imperfect. And
why? Betause, as you said, it's a

money. As you might
there is now a considerable
ramount involved and I want my
‘son to have these bonds, even
‘though I haven't seen him since

‘She was a baby and don't know

‘where he is.
Last I heard, Cliff was living
n Grayslake, Ill.. I presume
teve knows about me, but I
lon't know what. he's been told

“and I don't want to disrupt his

life. Is there some agency that
might be able to help me? The
Treasury Department said if I
send the bonds to them, they will
hold them should Steve inquire.
How could he inquire when he
doesn't know anything about

POLLAINE E. EMDE
1480 Lore rag te
"ASTLEGAR,

Res 365-3253

Grand

Americans
spend $33 billion a year on the
diet industry. Women have cho-
sen to place i on their
weight and looks because they
have been taught that if they look
better, they will be more lovable
and have more fun.

I was bulimic. After seeing a
very good counselor, I realized
that I'd chosen to give an insane
amount of power to those extra
10 pounds on my body. I know
now that my life and my prob-
lems are the same whether I'm 10
pounds overweight or 10 pounds
underweight.

I bought into the myth that
said my life would be better if I

ighed less, and I purchased all

to my readers.

Dear Ann Landers: I work as
a secretary in a busy public ser-
vice agency. One of my duties is
to answer all phone calls and
deal with the public. We have
nine professional men in our
office. The problem is their
wives. Some of these women call
several times a day. We try to
answer all phone calls by the
third ring. Can you imagine how
annoying it is to be tied up on a
line, with a customer waiting at
the window, and then get another
caller who asks, "Is Honeybuns
there?”

These wives call to tell Daddy

that Junior hit Sissy, or they can't
decide what to make for supper.
Often their husbands are busy
and it's very disruptive to have to
listen to such drivel. If the hus-
band doesn't return his wife's call
within 10 minutes, she calls back
wanting to know if Honeybuns”
was given the message and if so,
why he hasn't returned her call.
She also wants to know how
much longer his meeting will
last. The one I hate the most is,
“Why didn't you INSIST that he
return my call before he left the
office?"

Here's a message for wives of
working men: Your has

hadn't had a date in 10 years, I
had to respond.

Women aren't exactly saints
when it comes to looking for a
man. If you need proof, just read
the “personals” published in the
paper. I am really turned off by
what females consider important
qualifications for a suitable male
companion.

The first thing they mention is
looks. They want someone who
is tall and ~~attractive.“ While
some men may be interested in a
trophy to hang on their arm, most
men like myself want someone to
love and to be loved in return. In
the 10 years since my divorce, I
haven't been able to estab! a
relationship. No one is willing to
make a commitment. All the
women I meet want to, be

“friends.”

I'm a caring, affectionate man,
honest and hard-working. I'm not
rich but I live While

is depressed or not “feeling well”
and misses Nora terribly. All this
pressure has made our daughter a
wreck.

This evening Keith's mother
came to our home and asked to
see Nora alone. They visited for
an hour. When she left, Nora was
in tears. It seems Keith has
developed a skin rash. The doc-
tor says it's “emotional.~ The
woman told Nora it is her fault
and she is morally obligated to
go back to him “before he does
something awful to himself."

Nora is beside herself. I am
furious. My husband is fit to be
tied. What should be done? -- On
the Spot in N.J.

Dear O.T.S.: A 17-year-old is
no match for this aggressive
woman. Invite her over and tell
her in Nora's presence that you
are sorry Keith is ill but Nora is
not to be used as a drugstore pre-
scription to cure her son's skin

good looks are a bonus, I am pri-
marily interested in intelligence.
I am not threatened by a brainy
female.

It makes you wonder what
kind of world we live in when
men who beat up on their girl-
friends seem to get women who
continue to love them, while the
decent men like me get nowhere.
-- Miami

Dear Miami: You sound like
such a thoughtful, solid, decent
man it makes me a bit sorry that I
have an iron-clad rule against
putting my readers in touch with
one another.

Don't despair. Continue to go
to resp ble places and keep

a job to do. He is ‘under a lot of
He needs to concentrate

the diet “products.” Well, I
choose differently now. I hope
that the millions of women with
eating disorders start to realize
that they do have a choice. --
C.C., Littleton, Colo.

Dear Littleton: You've written
one of the most sensible letters
on the subject of weight that I
have read in a very long time.
Thank you for this wonderfully
sane and convincing contribution

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on his work. He can't handle
your marital, family or plumbing
problems over the phone. Please
save these conversations for after
5:00 p.m. -- Cranky in California
Dear Cranky: Every husband
who has a wife with "telephoni-
tis” will bless you for writing that
letter. I wonder how many office
bulletin boards this column will
appear on next Monday morning.
Thanks for scoring a bull's eye.

Dear Ann Landers:
reading the letters in-your ans
umn from the 35- year-old
woman in Oakland and the beau-
tiful 30-year-old attorney who

your eyes open. She is out there
somewhere. It'll happen one of
these days. I promise.

Dear Ann Landers: Our 17-
year-old, "Nora," is a high school
senior. She went steady for seven
months with "Keith," also a
senior.

Three weeks ago, Nora decid-
ed she wanted to go out with oth-
ers so she broke it off with Keith,
making it clear she'd date him
from time to time, but not exclu-
sively.

Keith's mother is determined
to "patch things up.” She imme-
diately wrote Nora a‘ long letter
and sent her a beautiful sweater.
She phones daily to report Keith

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Explain that Keith's rash is not
the result of Nora's rejection of
him but rather his inability to
accept the realities of the situa-
tion. Let her know that Keith
must learn how to cope with dis-
appointment and frustration
because he is bound to be faced
with it time and time again in the
future. The boy needs therapy,
not a mother who runs interfer-
ence for him.

Assure Nora, privately, that
she is not responsible for Keith's
problems and she must not allow
his mother to make her feel
guilty -- no matter what.

Dear Ann Landers: A
woman wrote you to ask whether
her sister-in-law was wacky
because she wrapped the
in newspaper and tied it with a
ribbon, sometimes “fussing with
the bow for five minutes." You
told her to relax with the knowl-
edge that her sister-in-law had
the most beautiful garbage in
town.

You could be wrong. If that
letter came from Chicago her sis-
ter-in-law has stiff competition.
My wife wraps her garbage in
9in paper left~ over from holi-
days. She also saves boxes and
ribbons and especially enjoys
surprising the trash collector with

fancy "packages" from Marshall »

Field & Co. Any comment? --
W.C.R.
Dear W.C.R.: No. I just wish I
had some of that woman's spare
time.

Dear Ann Landers: My par-

ents were divorced three years
ago. It was a bitter parting and

= Hogstead

the wounds have not healed.

Their only grandson will be 5
years old next month and I am
having a birthday party for him.
Mother says she won't come if I
invite her ex-husband. Dad is
crazy about the boy and I don't
feel it would be fair to exclude
him. What should I do? -- Split
Head

Dear Head: Landers’ law: If a
person says, I won't come if you
invite So- and-so" — that person
should be told, "Sorry, we'll miss
you.”

Inform your mother that she
can come after the party, enjoy
some birthday cake and ice
cream and have the boy all to
herself.

Dear Ann Landers: 1'11 bet
you've never received a letter
from a dog before. Well, there's
always a first. This is a message
from an adorable. mutt who lives
next door to me. I understand
dog language and wrote this
down for him and promised to
mail it to his master. I made an
extra copy for you, Ann. I hope
you will print it.

"Dear Folks: Well, you're off
again and it's only 7 am. Will it
be 10:00 or 11:00 tonight when
you return? Thanks for leaving
me some food, but it's too cold to
eat out here. Well, 1 guess now
that I've knocked over my water
1'11 chew on the porch for a
while.

“That nice man next door will
be over here pretty soon to give
me some fresh water. I'm always
glad to see him because he talks
to me. Gee, I'm lonesome.

"I can't figure out why you
people got m¢. I have never seen
what the house looks like --
except the kitchen, late at night
for a few hours. Please, will you
let me eat a meal inside once in a
while? _

"I'm only 6 months old. I
know I've grown a lot since I was
a puppy and I'm not as cute as I
used: to be, but please don't greet
me with, 'Bad dog,’ just because I
chew open the plastic garbage
bags. I have to do SOMETHING
while I'm tied up here for 12 or
14 hours.

“Here comes that nice lady
walking her dog. Boy, is HE a
lucky hound. I wish someone
would take ME for a walk. Well -
- I guess 1'11 chew on the porch
for a-while." -- Your Sad Mutt

Dear Mutt: Write again when
you get to eat inside and see what
the rest of the house looks like.
Your letter would melt a heart of

stone.
Prd

news:of-¢he

current compilation of
the most things
people do, edited by Chuck
Shepherd. j
Proof that true Stories are
weirder than made-up
stories.

-- St. Louis was plagued this
winter by an early-moming jogger
who threw girls down to the ground
on their way to school and suckecl
their toes.

NAMES FROM HELL

— The 50-year-old man, charged
in West Haven, Conn., in March
with having offered to pay a Yale
University female student's tuition
(totaling $26,000) if she would
spank him, is named Alexander
Bizzario. (He had lured her to his
home to fill out grant applications
but told police later that he had no
grant authority.)

— Prosecutors in Waverly, Tenn.,
attempting in Noyember to build
murder cases against two prison
escapees, changed their minds and
decided not to call to the stand the
prison barber, an informant who
would testify against the two
Weighing against the barber's credi-
bility: (1) He's in the slammer him-
self for 1,964 years; and (2) His
name is Ugga de Boogidie

-- James Dogg, 42, was charged
with assault in Mandan, N.D., in
May for beating up his girlfriend's
mother, 86-year-old Regina
Lafromboise, who had been joking
about Dogg's name and making
barking sounds.

CREME DE LA WEIRD

HOROSCOPES

Aug 30-Sept 5

ARIES - March 21/April 20
Watch your finances very carefully
this week. You're going to be rather
enthusiastic about something new.
It's a good time to listen to the advice
of people who are more experienced
that yourself. Any new project which
requjres a financial investment
should be considered very carefully
TAURUS — April 21/May 21
You will probably find that rela
tions with your close colleagues
become rather strained in the next
day or two. It's mainly because of
your stubborn attitude, so try to be
fa little more flexible. Thursday and
Friday will be two exceptionally
enjoyable days!
GEMINI - May 22/June 21
Romance should be looking rosier
for you now than it has for some
time! It will happen when you least
expect it, so don't look for it. Money
should be more plentiful (but you'll
need to avoid impulse buys). A sur
prise encounter with a stranger will
make your week more interesting
CANCER - June 22/July 22
If you keep your head while those
around you are losing theirs, it
should be a great week for you! One
thing is certain — it won't be dull!
And another thing: watch your
finances. The temptation to splurge
on extravagances could be strong,
but it should be restrained.
LEO - July 23/August 23
This week, caution in speech and action
is advised — not a trait that comes nat-
urally to a Leo! Strong abareit influ-
ences should guard you against the pos-
sibility that you could be particularly
accidenf-prone at the end of the week,
especially Fi Friday. Overdue cash
should come later in the week.
VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22
Virgos have an interesting habit of
dropping a pebble into a pool and
then disappearing when the ripples
start making themselves felt. If this
applies to you, you may have to face
some repercussions this week
Keeping a level head, and being
considerate to others will help things
run smoothly.
LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23
If anything gets your goat this week
it could be your family — with
friends coming a close second. Is
there anyone else who could upset
you? Well, there are co-workers! In
other words, it’s a good time to go
on vacation! But even~ there,
romance could be tricky unless you
have patience. Things will seem
brighter next week

SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22

A week to keep checking on details
if you're traveling. Scorpios at home
should find it relatively quiet — a
haven even — but the work front
could be quite the reverse. You may
be caught in the middle of an argu-
ment, try to be diplomatic.
SAGITTARIUS — Nov 23/Dec 21
A member of your family could lead
you to some unexpected expense,
just as you find yourself gloating
over your recent windfall Sag-
ittarians are among the Zodiac's
most generous people, so give
according to need, but don't be silly
about it. The weekend could bring
some enjoyable company.
CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20
Don't try to force the pace at work
or try to get friends to commit them-
selves to any arrangements they may
seem reluctant about. Blow-ups are
in the air just now — tempers could
be short — particularly if you are
engaged in any legal wrangles. Try
to keep a low profile this week.
AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18
Put your liferinto neutral this week
and coast along until the coast is
clear! Misunderstandings at work
could be a major source of aggrava-
tion. Try not to fly off the handle
though, because that just won't help.
Romance blossoms this week, as
your relationship with someone spe-
cial takes a serious turn.

PISCES - Feb 19/March 20
What goes around, comes around.
And for you, a good deed you did
for someone months ago will pay off
doubly! This will make you feel
wonderful, and you'll have evidence
that your idealistic approach to the
world isn't such a negative thing
after all! A shopping spree will bring
you an object that you will cherish
forever. Try not to be foo extrava-
gant, though.

YOUR BIRTHDAY THis’ WEEK
The next 12 months:

You'll set some long-term goals and
pursue them with the intense dili-
gence and persistence that most
Virgds possess. If anyone knows,
you know that hard work does even-
tually pay off. Your romantic life has
hit many rocky roads in the past few
years, but this pattern will soon
come to an end. A new, exciting
romance will sweep you off your
feet sometime this winter, and it
could be that lasting, wonderful
relationship you've been waiting and
hoping for. This will be a year of
change and happiness.

Calvin ana Hobbes
4,

Be

er

a =) AND BARE

Canadian
Quiz-Cross
i or enol sad

Agence France Presse
in March that Michael Balama, 45,
a farmer and father of nine children,
has resurfaced, living in a tree in
Pankshin, Nigeria, after having dis-
two weeks earlier from a

Continued from 5B

a tad different and this is no
exception. I KNOW there are
things out there for me to do,
hopefully that pay wages. This
time, I decided (I think) to create
my own opportunities ... capital-
ize on my natural talents (I’m
still deciding on whether I have
any or not) and meanwhile I'll
take a risk and try something.

That, indeed seems to be the
root of indecision. With every
step taken, there is always a risk

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TAURUS

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and a possible sacrifice. Oh, how
many times I've sat on the side-
lines and watched as life “hap-
pened” all around me, wanting to
join in so desperately but afraid
to risk FAILURE. That word
really should be stricken from the
dictionary. Sacrifices are never
easy either. I live in endless fear
of the “what ifs”. If I make THIS
choice and THAT opportunity
comes up boy, I'll just DIE.

The problem is, I won't die
and will be faced with these deci-
sions every day. Procrastination
only takes the intuitive juices out
of the decisions making process.
Whenever I analyze too much I
get really confused, frustrated,
tired and afraid to move. I have
now thought of every negative

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y on this earth. Why,
instead can I not trust myself to
make a good decision, 50 what if
there’s better ones out there. I
don’t miss an opportunity to
enjoy a day off just because
tomorrow might be a better time.
My intuition has been crowded
out for too long now and it’s time
to take some positive steps. Who
knows what the “right” direction
is, heck, I can barely see through
the mist, but here I go .

Consulting
Financial Counselling
and Qoal Setti

nearby tree in which he had been
living for five years. He said he
wanted to come down but couldn't
because “some people are holding
me.” Balama's wife said, "What I
miss about Michael is that we can
no longer make love together and
produce more children.” Balama
eats food prepared by his wife and
neighhors by climbing down to
lower branches to retrieve it.

LEAST COMPETENT PERSON

In January, the Arkansas
Supreme Court affirmed the
rape conviction in Morgan v.
State. Morgan had argued for a
mistrial because of a bad deci-
sion he made at trial: Without
the judge's permission, he had
shown his unerect penis to the
jury — as if that would "prove"
that he was therefore incapable
of the erection necessary to
commit rape.

THE DIMINISHING VALUE OF LIFE

In May, Robert Moore, 75,
was found guilty of attempted
murder for shooting neighbor
Patrick Dial, 38, because Dial’s
children were picking daffodils
in Moore's yard near

Painesville, Ohio.
pers

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15. What 1837 rebellions

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proc
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Cambridgeshire
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bidg.
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MAYBE
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WHAT \F WE DIE AND

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WHAT THEN 27

EWW, Giinss /
WAWA WA! BUT
THEN WHY WOULD
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1 LET mY

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MIND WANDER
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I. TEL YOu, HOBBES, ITS
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CRAWLED UNDER
AND DIED.

HOW HC

HORRIBLE /
\ DON'T WANT TO SEE IT!
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WELL, IF | WAS WEARING
ae AND THE LIGHTS WENT
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y—

LOOF AT THESE Ves!
YOU DID THIS To ME, AND
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HELLO, TANYA?
GUESS WHAT