as_Casthijat News August 19, 1987 QUESTIONS AND REMARKS Do not tell. that, than By BOB TAYLOR ‘The Canadian Press Questions and remarks you would rather not hear, thanks: What say we split the check down the middle? There's a small problem with one of the starboard engines. Did I say two cupfulls? 1 meant teaspoons. Oh, bad luck! The favorite just lost her rider! Mommy, is that man over there going to have a baby too? “Wayne,” I said, “you don’t hold your stick right. Here, let me show you.” Could I see your ticket stubs, sir. You won't mind if I borrow your toothbrush. OK, OK, break it up! Who's the trouble-maker that owns the blue Mustang? This passport has expired. “When I said $40, that was just for the frames, of rse. At the end of dinner, I'll ask you to say a few words. If you read the small print, you'll see the policy doesn’t cover flooding. THIS WON'T HURT Don't worry. A root canal should do the trick. As far as I can make out, he’s saying the only thing left on the menu is calf's brains. So, in the absence of Bruce Springsteen, we have our own Charlie Bates and his Olde-Tyme Rhythm Boys. How do you like this punker hair-do? No cards, thanks. I'll play these. I hope'you didn't drink out of that bottle. Guess what, Daddy! Our new neighbors are these three guys with big motorbikes and neat helmets with spikes on top. For today's sermon, I have chosen as my text “And the sons of Eliphaz were Teman, Omar, Zepho, Gatam and Kenaz.” As you know, Julie, we're always concerned about our employees’ welfare. HA, YOU'RE IN Sorry for dropping in unannounced, but the duke and duchess wanted a peek at a Canadian home. Would you mind watching Killer while I go into the store? Then for dinner you have grapefruit again but all the yogurt you can eat. Let's see now. A__ leaky tap, a new shower head, blocked sink. I make it $468 ¢ She's amazing for her age. to 60. It's all about this guy that turns into a lobster. Let's keep the reception small, No more than 260 guests. The Ford Hotel? Take the second left at Malton Street, go past Dimpfelmayer's, left again at Ramoosan's — sorry, that should have been the second RIGHT at Malton Street — and keep on for, oh, & coupla blocks till you see what looks like an old barn, then. . . May I speak frankly? For a change, I tried this recipe for cuttlefish simmered in its ink. old? Oh, Ta say clove TIME TOGO T've a good mind to tell that big eop to button his lip. Here, let me straighten your lovely necklace. That fake blonde over there. Why does she keep waving to you? Hi! My name's Terry and I'm calling on behalf of Ace Marketing Services. Mommy, what are all these funny red spots? Who left the bath running? Or put another way, in addition to inertial cues, which the animal might detect during artificial displacement . . . Tl sing it for you. And of course you remember this little lady! How much dough do you have on you? Doctor just stepped out. He should be back in half an hour at the latest. I guarantee it. This little baby's gonna put IBM right outa business. and I were chuckling over those pictures of you as a baby. « Guess what, Mom! Mrs. Kelly's wearing the exact same dress as you! I don't understand this deduction — $2,500 for your dog’s medical expenses. ‘We provide a supportive environment for talented people to self-maximize. Go ask your father. Bob Taylor welcomes letters about language but cannot promise to answer them individually. He is editor of the Canadian Press Stylebook ($12 including postage) and CP Caps and Spelling ($10). The address: The Canadian Press, 36 King St., E., Toronto, Ont., M5C 2L9. SHOPPING URGE Woman has cash woes VANCOUVER (CP) — Julie Wilson remembers crumpling with embarrassment as the cash register lights flashed and the department store clerk confiscated her credit card. Her $1,500 debt had come crashing down in full public view “It was very embarrassing when they said they'd have to keep the card,” says Wilson. On that day she vowed to try to control her excessive spending, but five years later the Vancouver saleswoman still cannot seem to stem her urge to shop. Wilson, 39, has cut up her credit cards three times, only to re-apply for them. “I really do get into a lot of trouble from shopping,” she says. “I really believe that I’m a compulsive shopper, that I have a serious problem.” Her problem seems widespread enough to prompt a group of psychological counsellors to open a special clinic this fall to help compulsive shoppers. The founders believe there are similarities between shoplifting and compulsive shopping. Wilson, married, with two grown children, describes herself as “your yuppie image type,” with a combined family income of about $50,000 a year, a nice home, good social life and a puppy. Most of her spending, up to $3,000 a month, goes to groceries and clothing. WASTE FOOD “I shop literally for food every day,” she says. “I'm sure I could feed an army but we can't possibly eat it all and I waste an awful lot.” Wilson says she realizes her spending has stretched both her family’s finances and her husband's temper to the limit. “He's always angry but I justify it by saying, ‘It’s my money. I work for it and I can go out and shop,” she says. “But I know in my heart of hearts that I should be contributing to family things like paying off the mortgage.” Often her husband has to bail her out of debt. “He'll say ‘don’t do it again,’ and then I'll go charge $2,000 or $3,000 at a time,” says Wilson. Since she has come to realize her problem, Wilson says she has begun to recognize it in others, including her friends. Dixie Kilroe, one of four counsellors who'll open Contact Counselling Services in Vancouver this fall, says they got the idea while working with shoplifters at the Elizabeth Fry Society “It’s still a compulsive behavior and it’s filling unmet emotional needs, only this is an aspect where people aren't having to steal it, they're paying for it.” says Kilroe. “But they’re going so deeply into debt they're ruining their lives.” HOLD DISCUSSIONS The program will help people recognize and deal with their problem through small group discussions, projects and counselling. Since planning for the clinic began there has been a steady stream of people requesting information, says Kilroe. “Often the problem stems from attitudes they picked up about money, their personal worth and their own value from their parents in some way,” she says. “They get a distorted view or a distorted connection between love and money.” Kilroe believes the problem of compulsive shopping may be masked by the consumer society, which has glorified shopping. “I mean look at the bumper stickers (like) ‘born to shop,” and all the jokes about, ‘oh, my wife's got all the charge cards right up to the limit,” says Kilroe. “It seems like it’s a phenomenon that we've handled in such a way that it's socially acceptable, even though it's causing misery for a lot of people.” Woinen appear more likely to be affected than men, she says. In men, compulsive overspending is often linked to an attempt to build up a successful image. The problem is not limited to any income group, says Kilroe. “I know a female executive who makes $80,000 a year and can't hold onto a dime,” she says. New Crop THE HONEYBEE HAS ARRIVED At the Plaza $ GRAND FORKS HONEY .99 PLAZA SUPER-VALU OPENS SUNDAYS 10 A.M. — 5 P.M. Valu Effective: While stocks last Friday, Aug. 14, 1987 (No containers from home accepted, please) Want to make a little mon » goalong. ™ P way? ee TORONTO, (CP) - T ‘a month, Dr. Norman ry Directory Advertising his clinie in Toronto and puts his hands to work on the joints and muscles of his 700- pound patients. In the process, he b TO BE MAILED TO YOUR ADDRESS FOR THE UNIVERSITY TERM. Only $15 for 8 months “As Good as a Letter from Home!" a “cow-ropractor.” The .reason for Allan's visits is simple, Mohawk says. The less stress the cows are under, the more inclined they will be to produce milk. Allan, 44, started making the barn calls last year when Mohawk, who owns 11 Jer- seys, asked him to help the cows produce more milk. “They don't make milk when they're unhappy or un- comfortable,” says Mohawk, whose 70-hectare farm in Schomberg, about 70 kilom- | etres northwest of Toronto, is open to animal lovers and car-rally enthusiasts. “If they're hurting or have | twisted a foot or any number jj of things, it can just put them i off their milk. They're not happy about doing it.” STRESS SHOWS Mobawk said he recognizes signs of stress in the animals. They breathe erratically, have poor posture, weary eyes, poor appetite and a frown. Even the consistency of the cow manure can give a } -wound-up- animal away, he Phone 365-7266 ALK UP SUPER BUYS Elmer's Glue 150 mi Phormasave Price 99° says. The therapy relieves stress in the cows, motivat- ing them to increase the Looseles OXFORD 2° viny sinder 1 00! me rV $429 VENICE HB PENCILS quality and quantity of their milk, Mohawk said. Manipulating the muscles and joints of animals is nothing new, says Allan, who has a degree in zoology. For years, people have been THERMOS LUNCH KITS YOuR CHOICE .. STASH CRAYOLA BOXES CRAYONS Assorted 24s $188} 98° Assorted $549 }rom CHOICE. . using the technique on dogs, horses, cats and sheep, he says. The doctor, who has been treating Toronto patients with joint and muscle ail ments for more than a year, has also administered acu puncture to animals suffering LEPAGES BONDFAST GLUE ron $1 19 Bonus pains. He says he puts his hands to work on the cows wherever he feels tension. Each cow requires about five to 10 minutes of therapy before it is fully relaxed. “There's quite a science to it,” Allan says. “I'm just feel- ing my way with the cows.” NO CHARGE Allan does not bill the farm for his services, even though he has to put up with the stench of cow manure, mos- quito bites and the odd re. ‘In the Heart of. Downtown Castlegar OPEN THIS SUNDAY. 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Sone’s 446 Baker Street Nelson * 352-2521 CHINA CABINET 1117 Baker Street Cranbrook * 426-3770 907 Spokane Street Trail » 368-5115 FINANCIAL PLANNING §@3 Avgust 19, 1967 THAT MAKES YOUR MONEY WORK AS HARD AS YOU DO espaziani, Lunsford fired by board CALGARY (CP) — The Calgary Stampeders’s board of directors was fed up with the team's poor play and. diminishing fan support, so it wanted head coach Bob Vespaziani fired. But general manager Earl Lunsford, convinced mid-season firings are usually futile, refused to lower the boom on Vespaziani. The CFL team's board did the job itself Tuesday. It fired Vespaziani, Lunsford and player personnel director Bud Riley. Assistant coach Lary Kuharich is taking over as head coach and director of football operations. Club president Vern Siemens replaces Lunsford as general manager. The wholesale cleanout of the team’s front office came just two days before Calgary's next game against the B.C. Lions. Add to the unusual timing the fact that Calgary won its last game against the Ottawa Rough Riders 10 days ago 39-38. The come-from-behind win was only the club's second in eight games this year. Board chairman Jim Silye said the 12-member executive decided about a week before Calgary's last game, the team's sixth straight loss, that a coaching change was necessary. Lunsford was sacked because of his stubborn refusal to fire Vespaziani. “It comes down to a difference in philosophical opinion,” said Silye, a former defensive back and punt returner with the Stamps. “He (Lunsford) is of the opinion that changes half way through a season do you no good and will not result in a turnaround. “We have to keep (the fans) interested and we think the changes will generate the kind of interest and revenue we require.” The Stampeders, who budgeted this season for an average crowd of 27,000, have averaged about 21,000 fans through four home games. BUDGET CUT The club recently slashed its budget in an effort to prevent a large deficit. But the directors felt more was needed to win back fan support. “The board is not prepared to sit back and watch this community-owned football team go down the drain,” said Siemens, a businessman who took the team presidency last winter on a voluntary, unpaid basis. “We've got the indication from the press and the fans that something needed to be done or we wouldn't be operating next year.” Although Calgary's 2-6 record is the CFL's worst, the team is just one point out of a playoff spot in the West Division. Last year, the Stampeders tied for the league's third-best record with 11 wins and seven losses. Vespaziani, Lunsford and Riley, who was Calgary's previous head coach, cleared out of their McMahon Stadium offices before reporters arrived. Kuharich, 41, who also coaches Calgary's offensive backs and receivers, was given much of the credit for Calgary's high-powered offence in 1986. Silye said Kuharich has the leadership and discipline needed to turn the Stampeders around. He said players’ jobs are also on the line. PLAYERS SHOCKED Quarterback Rick Johnson, who has played poorly and been benched twice this season after making the all-star team last year, said players are stunned by the firings. “We heard rumors about what was going to happen if “We didn't expect anything like this.” Vv whose Canadian coaching career began in 1971 at Acadia University, served as an assistant coach with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers and the Lions before being hired by Lunsford in March 1986. His hiring coincided with an emotional Save Our Stamps campaign that kept the team alive after a $1.5-million debt threatened to bankrupt it. Vespaziani’s coaching, combined with some shrewd personnel moves by Lunsford, helped the Stamps bounce back from a 3-13 record in 1985 to a playoff spot last year. The off-field turnaround was equally remarkable. The Stamps nearly doubled their average attendance and even posted a modest profit. Lunsford, known as the Earthquake when he was mowing down defenders as a record-setting Calgary fullback in the 1960s, became general manager in 1985. Prior to that he spent 15 years as genera! manager of the Blue Bombers. Riley, who has been head coach of four CFL teams, served as Calgary's coach for the last 11 games in 1985 after Lunsford fired Steve Buratto. Riley then returned to his job OFF THE RIM. . . Jen Sallis of Castlegar gives it her all during the second day of a week long basketball camp being held at Stanley Humphries secondary SKILLS Impress By SURJ RATTAN Staff Writer A total of 49 girls, some from as far away as Salmon Arm, have turned out for the ninth annual Rockettes Basketball camp being held at Stanley Humphries secondary school all this week. The camp is being run by three local basketball coaches, Doug Pilatzke and Jack Closkey of Stanley Humphries and Doug Hickey of Kinnaird Junior secondary school. , Both Closkey and Hickey said they are impressed with the caliber of play they have seen in the first two days of the camp “Everyone's had a ball in their hand, you can tell. There's excellent enthusiasm here,” said Hickey. He added that girls from Castlegar, Trail, Nelson, Grand Forks, Creston, Salmon Arm and several other places have turned out for the camp. Closkey said the camp is filled to capacity this year. “I don't see anyone fading. It would be nice to channel this enthusiasm into the provincials. We could probably get more (players) but it be tough to handle,” said Closkey. coaches years ago by Pilatzke after a similar one in Nelson folded current coach of the Canadian women’s national alpine school. Sallis is only one of 49 players to turn out for the camp. See story below. CosNews Photo by Sur; Rottan He added that a camp is vital no matter what sport is being played. “If you don’t have a camp you don't have a sport or a program. It’s absolutely vital,” said Closkey. One of the main objectives of the camp is the development of fundamental skills of basketball. The other objective is people oriented with the emphasis being on fair play, respect and self discipline All aspects of the game are covered and there are clinics on dribbling, passing, shooting and rebounding. Each day there is a session on man-to-man defence. In addition there are one-on-one competitions, free-throw contests, shooting contest, dribbling compe. titions, hot shots competitions and a three-on-three cut-throat league. Players are assigned to league teams that play against each other each day to put into practice the skills they have picked up during the teaching sessions. The Rockettes basketball camp was started nine That camp was taught by Currie Chapman — the ski team. we lost (in Ottawa), but we won the game,” Johnson said. as personnel director. Expos pull off win MONTREAL (CP) — Coming from behind is getting to be a habit for the Montreal Expos. They spotted the Los Angeles Dod- gers a 1-0 lead in the first inning Tuesday night and squeezed by them 2-1, overcoming a deficit for the fifth straight game. “We'd like to jump out ahead one of these times,” acknowledged manager Buck Rodgers, whose club crept within three games of the East Division- leading St. Louis Cardinals, who suf. fered a 4-0 National League setback against the Houston Astros. “But as long as we keep winning, we'll take them any way we can get them.” The Expos used some aggressive. ness by Tim Raines to get past the Dodgers, foregoing the suspense by ending a tie in the seventh inning before 30,349 fans at Olympic Stadium. Raines, with 14 hits in his last 31 at-bats, opened the seventh with a triple that rolled to the right-centre field wall. “I knew I was going to go for three bases after I rounded first,” Raines said. “But I stumbled rounding second. “For a minute, I thought I was going to fall flat on my face.” Instead, Raines reached third, and he scored when Mitch Webster fol- lowed with a single through the right side of the infield. With two scoreless innings of relief from winning pitcher Tim Burke (4-0) who took over from starter Bob Sebra, and one from Bob McClure who got his third save, the run was all Montreal needed. The win put the Expos the closest they have been to the division lead since June 4. The Dodgers opened the game with three straight singles off Sebra. But Steve Sax, who had the first, was caught stealing by catcher Jeff Reed. John Shelby’s sacrifice fly delivered the first-inning run, however, after singles by Danny Heep and Pedro Guerrero, who later stole second, left runners at second and third. The Expos tied it 1-1 in the third inning, after singles by Raines and Hubie Brooks, sandwiched by- Webster's walk, loaded the bases with one out against starter Orel Hershis- ‘her, 12-12. Hershisher then struck Tim Wallach on the batting helmet with a pitch. Wallach, who fell to the ground, momentarily dazed, sprang to his feet and headed to first with his league- leading 108rd run batted in. The Dodgers escaped without fur- ther damage, and even had a chance to break the tie in the fifth when Her- shisher whistled a grounder past Wallach at third base for a double. Tracy Woodson who was at first base, was waved home, but a strong relay by Brooks from medium left field nabbed Woodson at the plate. Trail stops Ontario in little league action By CasNews Staff The host team Trail shut-out Pine- crest 7-0 yesterday in Canadian Little League championship play to stretch their record to 2-1. In other action Tuesday, the Van- couver Island team of Stuart Channel thumped Edmonton 14-3 while Glace Bay managed to slip by Sherbrooke 5-4. Both Stuart Channel and Glace Bay meet on the diamond today in round robin action. The two teams are sitting on top of the championship series being played at Trail’s Andy Bileski Park with 3-0 records. Edmonton is sporting a 1-2 record while Sherbrooke and Pinecrest have yet to win any games. The.championship series kicked off last Saturday with a 10 a.m. game be- tween the Prairie’s and Ontario which the Prairie’s managed to win 4-3. Trail suffered its only loss so far in the series when they were edged 4-3 by the Maritimes in fhe second game of the series. In the third game, B.C. stopped Quebec 3-1. Bileski's Trail squad then hammered Quebec in the fourth game, 23-0. B.C. defeated Ontario 8-3 in the fifth game while the Maritimes had little trouble defeating the Prairie's 9-3 in the sixth game. There are six teams, including the host team Trail, vying for the Canadian Little League championship crown. The Maritimes are represented by Glace Bay, Nova Scotia. Quebec is rep- resented by Sherbrooke, Pinecrest, which is near Ottawa, is representing Ontario. Confederation Park, from Ed- monton, is representing the Prairie’s and Stuart Channel, which is from the Ladysmith-Chemainus area of Vancou- ver Island is representing B.C. Jays manage victory OAKLAND, CALIF. (AP) — The Toronto Blue Jays went ahead in the eighth inning on George Bell's 37th home run and finished on top with stout pitching. “I think our pitching is as good as anyone's, especially the way Dave Stieb is throwing,” reliever Tom Henke said after saving Tuesday night's 2-1 victory over the Oakland Athletics. “No one is any better than him right now.” Stieb, 13-5, won his seventh straight game with three-hit work over eight innings. Henke allowed a leadoff single in the ninth and let a runner get to third base; but he escaped to earn a club-record 28th save, his 15th in as many opportunities. “I knew I could set the record, but I wasn’t even thinking about that out on the mound,” said Henke, who broke the mark he established last season. The Blue Jays, who now have the best record in major-league baseball, remained one-half game ahead of De troit in baseball's American League East. The Tigers beat AL West leader Minnestoa 11-2. Bell homered with two out in the eighth inning off Dennis Eckersley, 6-6, the A’s most dependable reliever this season. “He just didn’t get the ball where he wanted it,” Oakland manager Tony La Russa said of Eckersley. “Those things happen, even to the best of closers. There were two good relievers out there at the end. One of them had to end up irt the outhouse and one in the castle.” Stieb struck out seven and walked four. Henke struck out Mark McGwire with one out and a runner on third, then reitred Swayne Murphy on a grounder to end the game. Bell's homer off Eckersley, the A's fourth pitcher, raised his league-lead- ing RBI total to 102. Cecil Fielder led off the eighth with a pinch-hit single off Dave Leiper, who struck out Lloyd Moseby and then was relieved by Eckersley. Pinch-hitter Rick Leach struck out before Bell homered to left on the first pitch. Minter shocks Sukova in tennis tournament TORONTO (CP) — Helena Sukova may have been the defending champion but Anne Minter made her look like Swiss cheese. The unheralded Australian poked holes in the Czechoslovakian's net game, shocking the No. 4 seed 6-3, 6-1 in second-round action Tuesday night at the $390,000 Player's Challenge tennis tournament. Meanwhile, Helen Kelesi of Toronto was the only Canadian to move into the second round after she overcame first-set jitters to stop doubles partner Jill Hetherington of Peterborough, Ont., 7-6 (7-4), 6-3. A tired Carling Bas: sett of Toronto was eliminated 3-6, 6-4, 6-0 byEtsuko Inoue of Japan. With both players holding serve in the first six games, the turning point of the Minter-Sukova match came in the seventh. Minter cooly passed Sukova down the middle, lobbed over her six foot-two opponent, beat her to the right side and then the left to break serve at love. “I thought as though I could almost hit the passing shots where I wanted to,” said Minter, No. 50 on the Women’s International Tennis Associ ation computer. “She was attacking but my groundstrokes were just so accur- ate.” Minter stormed through seven straight games from that midway point in the first set en route to her third victory against Sukova, No. 6 on the WIT computer, in nine career meet ings. Although Kelesi has also been on a recent hot streak, she wasn't too eager about facing Hetherington. It was Kel. esi’s first match since she led Canada to the quarter-finals at the Federation Cup last month where she teamed with Hetherington in the doubles. “I was very nervous since we were really close at the Federation Cup,” said Kelesi, ranked No. 32 internation ally. “I didn't really want to play her and I found it tough to concentrate and bear down.”