4 CASTLEGAR NEWS, Thursday, February 3, 1972

GOOMBULS: AN ANALYSIS OF CHILDHOOD FEARS

An fema of Childhood

jy Norman ‘Beverney
it General Description
children have

: fares Nea of the dark, or

ot just something, You may
@ call

led them

" related to

Marima_ Dar!

i. generally very

to
each other. Boogeymen live
in Saskatchewan, Grimbies
live in Albuquerque and
marine climates and Goom-
buls, the most feared mem-

uls must

ve.
Goombuls have an in-
genious tactic which has

* managed to keep their race

ive for centuries. They
lurk quietly in a corner un-
child

to the darkest noo!

ee they can

su
brains out with no fear of

3 discover

ig, the most ex-
skills,

corners, ehind the furnace

3 aud under your bed. They

wa: ys, there but
ide instantly when 2 ught

any place i inable,
y place, imaging

Goombuls _ habitually
icks of two, gen-

Cats ferred to as a Cov- -

are extremely
Toya to. Y nett companions
but are insanely jealous of
others who come into their
territ This is why you
sometimes hear noises late
at night; several coveys
have met and are ig.
The average adult Polluted,
overweight and senile, has
lost his perception toa de-
gree that he cannot detect

001
fle. So when you cried out
in fear, you were told that

“By. Gerald, Panio.

‘It was an idyllic, ‘more
r less, Monday afternoon
with people scurrying and
bustling about the bus;
sidewalls of Vancouver.

and shouts, and bestowing

upon the town a rare sense
of peace and tranquility.

peace and tran-

uility lated until exactly

2.01 with-the

you were imagining things
or that the house was just
settling, Of course this is
absurb.

fear, 0! ‘annoyin;
pets, ney fnloy dogs ja
thelr mortal enemies,

Ww

ten cries the 50
you put an oan clock’ be-
side him to soothe him

Goombuls tere baiting him
and as he new to the
house he becomes scared
and cries out, Putting the
alarm clock beside him hy-
Pnotizes him to sleep and
at the same time makes
the Goombuls wary, as they

are tricked into” "thinking
that tte sound. of the cloc!

“Phair Apres
wip Their ‘Appearance
full- ombul
is an awsome creature to be-
hold because, full-grown, he
is a ponderous thing, Goom-
buls generally have a
ple complexion — sometim-
€s more of a mauve — and
have only one} long, curly
hair growing out of their
scalps, Their faces are cov-
ered with zits
and are very offensive. At
the corners of their mouths
are two, fearsome, shiny,
razor sharp. rubber fangs
which, le cumbersome,
are ne efficient for
brain-sucking. They have
keen hearing, lightnin,
floxes poe seven legs w: ich
give them great swiftness
and much-needed support,
ich are invaluable for

tight,
green ‘I-shurt with a large
yellow letter dt emblazon-
ed on the front and small-
er numbers on the sleeves.
a) What To Do About
Them

‘Gene erally, it has been
found that there is no cure
for Goombuls; but recently
much progress has been
made in the area of preven-
ton. It was discovered that
Goombuls have an insane

lent.

Then, God laughed
Panic deepened and peor
began to swoon and
the streets, Finally, the fit
of cosmic mirth subsided,
and God made the follow:
ing announcement:

“The message you Baye
just heard was brought to
you courtesy of the proud
makers of Sonic Boom Won-
der Woofers. We hope you
have enjoyed this brief de-
monstration of our comp-
any's latest electronic mar-
vel: the Super-mega-omni-
amplifier and speaker syst-

it is the ideal system
for’ the man who. really

at
Wooter distributor and take
a close look at this revolu-
tionary new advance in
sound engineeri ing!”

There was a eteafenin
“Click!” ead “God” signe:
off the"

© minutes after the

By Viola Sorenson
Opportunities for Youth,
the federal government's
summer works program for
unemployed young people,
has been labelled by some
a complete waste of tax-
payers’ money. But maybe
they haven't looked behind
the headlines,
im did have

The program
its faults. It was introduced
too late and didn’t allow

would not have arisen.

One of the most import-
ant aspects of Opportunit-
fes for Youth is that it al-
lowed young people to be-
come an actual part of the
decision-making process.
They were asked to look
around themselves, to see
what needed to done,
and then allowed to do it.
Thus they found that often
idealistic ideas aren't easi-
ly implemented: ‘An insight

ined into the com-
ites (and -absurdities?)
government system.
ie. ‘establishment’

SeecET OMIT FOR YOUTH |

hele country, and shares
for

terror of noise of any kind.
This explodes the theory
that they hate: music only
because it is nice and the) ey
detest and fear niceness,
also explai why singing
has always been the univer-
sal Goobul repellent for un-
told enia, It seems that
noise affects thelr subcon-
scious and makes them
feat extremely self-consci-
while lurking. If you
furk for 17 hours @ day, any
feeling of self consciousness
is bound to drive you to
drinking and 1 ae Sately or
Wiimep collecting ‘dum
imp collecting dummy:
the average dun
by himself is a most timid
and meek creature, but with
akes on

ferocity a

the intellegence of a goat.
Their dread of: light stems
from this — it most unner-

fri
naturally the:
the is there. Yue

discovering ‘that his
covey mate | is no nee res pre-
sent. Beside:
their cae et Ted ayer

tall speak
throughout your basement
and play Ann Mury.
cords -for at
days. If

arve them out, you wil
have to give up and move.
Second, you should hoo!
the basement lights up toa
single switch and periodic-
ally switch them on and off.
The continuous hiding an

sSavel

* Loosely translated as
“Fearsome dark “awellers
ae

[MAGAZINE SECTION |

Recently, the Grade XI and

Grade XII students at Stanley

Humphries published a mimeographed booklet entitled

“Weitings”. The Students wer

re members of John McVicar's

creative writing course which Is known in academic circles
by the uncreative name “Writing Eleven.” The stories on
this page are taken from this anthology which, by the way,

Includes much more prose

as well as poetry. The SHSS

pupils hope to bring out another booklet, probably with a

different format.

By
LEANNE ALLEN
GREG ARCHIBALD
NORMAN DEVERNEY
GERALD PANIO
MICHAEL SCOTT
VIOLA SORENSON

FREE
A Century

Two new booklets cov-
ering varying facets of a
century of education in Bri-
tish Columbia will become.
available to interested
sons this week, accor og
to an sbnouncement by the
Hon, D. L, Brothers, Min-
ister of Education.

One booklet, published
by the Department of Edu-
eation, is a 116-page vol-

of some

orates the
wublie Schoo:

187:

gislation remtea by the new

Province of B: Colum-

bia after it Heine Confed-
It was the

lished by the Education Di-
sion of Statistics Canada,

of the
was still staring ar popu in
stunned silence. Suddenly
however, throughout
ety, people began to smile.

there was something
very strange about the

They seemed some-
pow w cariostly tt twisted and
most

wicked.
warped laughed.

joine
Gontederation in 1871 to the
beginning of the resent
acnool sear Entitled

BOOKS!
of Education

ly from Statistics Canada
for $1.50.
The British Columbia

also being printed, in very
limited numbers, as‘a sep-
arate volume. It is entitled
100 Years; Education in
British Columbla.

The British Columbia

ly publish
useripts and in copies of
the ho annual reports that
are available in the Depart-
ment of Education and in
various Ubrarles

a few imeresung aspects of
education over 100 years,
ith a number of then-and-
now comparisons.” Never-
theless, the supplement do-
es contain numerous com-
parative statistical tables
sand: lists) of ‘all ‘the ‘officers -
eal whe have’ are “senior: lor posts
inthe Department through-

2 in its history.
The Statistics Canada

book, on the other hand,
goes into considerably more
statistical detail, as is title
ra-

entury
Satish PY cclumbia: eati0 cal
Perspectives, the Statistics
Canada’ volume: is now
avallabie at Information
anada bookstores or direct-

pid and persistent rate of
growth in enrolments, tea-
ching staff, and costs as
well as a section on the
history of education.

Sugar and Spice

A lot of people would give

their eye-teeth for some free |”

publicity in this column for
whatever they're selling. In
fact, I have a large case of
mounted eye-teeth which I
haven’t bothered returning.

For once, I'll make an
exception, In this case, it’s a
plug for a television series.
I'm not much of a T.V.
hound, Most of the content
is aimed at the 12-year-old

these F problems,
if anyone ig still overly
Soneerae about the ‘waste’
of money in the program
— and there evidently are
some — rest assured % a
no government project is
without it, ant Braject the
first time aroun
Opportunities for Youth
although it did have its
faults, Senefited many peo-
ple. It enabled many stud-
ents to continue their edu-
cation this fall rather than
going on social

; and this is an in-
sult toa bright 12-year-old.

Three BBC series, how-
ever, were well done enough
to interest me. They were
The Wives of Henry VIII,
this year’s Elizabeth R, and

e Forsyte Saga. In each
case we had superb enter-
tainment, without the vio-
lence, off-colour jokes and
utter inanity which charac-
terlze so many well-known
and avidly followed shows. I
might add that one reason
they appealed to me was
that they were not trying to

ith the ever increas-
ing need for employment
and the decreasing job sup-

ply, perhaps consideration .

should be given to extend-
ing this program. It should
include not only students
but the entire labour force
and should operate on a
year-round basis. One need-

n't be worried about the ex-
pense - to be incurred by
such program — there
wouldn't have to be any.
The necessary money is. al-
ready belpg paid oud: under
ano plan known as ‘wel-

‘the most

of such a ‘scheme as
outlined above is that eve!
one would be able to 0
their thing,” both for them-
selves and their country.
Stand together. Understand
together?

important

',. Merely
good drama.

I remember saying tomy

* wife, during the span of the

Forsyte family, “Wouldn't

the Jaina novels make a

wonderful series?” She

igreed, whereupon I put a

aick in the doorpost. I do

every time she agrees

with me, There are three

. hicks there now. Of course,
we've only had this house
for ten years.

Now we have it. A Cana-
dian series, produced by the

which can turn out
first-class stuff: when the
creative people ‘manage to
wiggle out from under the
meaty, far-from-green
thumbs of the administra-
tors, The Jalna series.

Mazo de la Roche, crea-
tor of the Jalna novels, will
never be ranked — wit!
Shakespeare or Dickens. But
she was an excellent crafts-

woman, with a shrewd
knowledge of the reading
public, able toe blend roman-
ticism and realism into a
mixture that had a universal

IL.

was the same old
story. Practically unknown
in Canada, she submitted
her navel Jaina to a U.S.
contest and: won the Atlan-
tic — Moni prize of
$10,000 a ‘hen for best

a of the yeas

She had found arich vein
of gold, Like Ian Fleming,
who wrote the James Bond
nonsense, and that character
who churns out the Carry
On Doctor stuff, she mined
her lode to the ‘depths, ex-
tracting every last nugget,
and even panning for grains
toward the end. Don’t mis-
take me; she was a far better
writer than the others men-
tioned._

The novels deal with a
large, extremely complex
family, the Whiteoaks, living
on a big farm near Lake On-
tario, and it covers ‘several
generations.

Our ‘pioneer aricestors
were about as much like the

+ Whiteoaks as Pierre Trudeau
is like me. And Jalna is
about as real in rural
19th-century Canada as
Camelot was in the barbaric
dark ages, But this i is part of

. And t
hate relationships within the
family are believable, be-
cause they are familiar.

I predict a run on the
Jalna novels, if the TV series
is any good. . Regardless,

yourself. They are
in’ most public

ies.
A little incident during
the war proved to me that,

despite their regionalism,
the novels have an interna- ©
tional appeal.

It was about May 2nd,
1945. The Russians had just
“liberated” our prison

camp. They were pretty
drunk and disorderly, still
celebrating May Ist, one of
their big holidays, and they
let us out for the evening.

(Next day they locked usall

up again.)

But we had one glorious
spring evening of freedom. I
set off for the little town
near the camp with Nils
Jorgenson, a huge Nor-
wegian who spoke German.

We watched the Russians
still pouring into the town,
a mottey and colourful
crew. I remember a huge
Cossack-looking type, with
vast moustaches, riding a°
stallion. Slung over one
shoulder was a machine-

few moments, a_ stately,
white-haired lady with great
+ poise appeared, and imperi-
ously demanded to know
what we wanted.
Nils said we. were just
visiting, told her we were
.W.'s, a Norwegian and a
Canadian,
She turned to me, and in
but grammatical
English, asked _ eagerly,
“You know ze Vhiteoaks of.
Jalna?”
I confessed that I didn't
* know them

Trette and

THE STORY OF MURRAY -

He the . scarf

The tat Taree mand on the

clock, which situated

above 'te spare desk in the

corner, was on its final
ul

roports,
were many more to come,
Murray jotted down his
marks and placed
part on the finished
glanced at the
five", he

eket: he ou fed out a a cig:
Ut it. Leaning
he inhal-
ed the smoke Wkly into
his lungs, and then exhal-

LORD OF
THE DAWN

By Michael Scott
The dawn had come
slowly to us, A nebulous
light slowly became appar-
ent above the ‘range of
mountains far to the east.
In the. diff wilight,
eer
‘here was

back in

Pp
ed my th
nothing
simplicity of nature about,
and the indelivie scars of
Man I had strived to es-
cape, seemed thousands of
es aw
* white glow was
inereasing almost imper
ce tinty, but as it grew,’ tt
ened even more and

took on the pale blush of a
eae ripening on the

by the ever-growing num-
ber of colours in fhe palette

had come.

Greenhook Out

Forerunners of what of-
be a bum:

the
£50: 000 Y copies will be prin-
The B.C. Tourist Direc-

ments in_the province,
—

ground his neck. Unfortun-
he wrapped it too
ry ight and it began to cut off

pening.
shoes, and pulled his seal
skin boots onto his feet. He
was in a hurry, and so he
put his coat on and didn't
je up his laces on his boots,
Murray ran out athe door
and part way id lown the
slairs, then he tripped on his

ed it, His thoughts wander-
ed with suiting smoke from
the tip of the cigarette, mak.
ns about the room,

ray's min le

lized that smoke was
burniie the nylon fabric
Crushing the life

from ‘the cigarette, he pick-
ed himself up from the dark
green carpet, and walked to
e medicine cabinet, and
be adjusting the reflections,
and brushing his hand
through his hair, he could
see thai ihere hadi't been

striding back
realized that

took his coat from the han-
ger, and pulled bis woolen
scarf from his coat sleeve.

shoe ‘aces and rolled down

‘and bones, and all, Murray
couldn't hack it, so he died
at fvet fifty-five,
urray had no family,
and - aire) in the garbage
can at the back of the bulld-
ing. All his little friends in
the alley would miss him for
he used to bring them pen-
cil shavings and particles of
erasers, and on occasions,
even a plece of paper,
Perhaps it Z well fat

from the office.

Government

Publishes

Wage Booklet
Hon... James R

The
Chabot, minister of labor,
announced that the research

klet en-
Work

* Provisions in
British Columbia Collective
Agreements,
stu Hlustrates

the types of provisions deal-
ing with wi wage appearing a

amples of wi © guare antees
are recorded, gether with
evaluative comments con-

RECOGNITION for many hours of rules
to minor hockey was made to Mike‘ Laur-
iente during the big game-on Saturday. The

Presentation was made to Mr,

Lauriente by

Rudy Martini,-representing the Minor Hoc-
key League. Behind him Is Linda Evin, Ald.
‘Stave Jankola of Kinnaird and Ald. R. WS
Cook of Castlegar.

cerning thelr

ies are available,
free of charge, from de-
partment of labor, Victoria.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY —|

nr : staid’ routine.
tall “There

and weigh 1:
the oldest
girl

My brother, Mat-

people.
Tew is fourteen years old:
Our dog’s name
No, I think that i is'a bit
too ‘dry for another run.
Perhaps the faithful old
Het opera story would be

“As we peek in upon
St. Paul’s ho: ospital t
aint old building “in the
mn section of Vancouver
— we catch a se of
several of the devoted nur-
ses (who have such tangl-
ed. lives) wheeling a aa
nant woman into the ne:

ery room. Sat Isn't that
Mrs. Allen? ti wife to
eology student who
searetiy «oa Fn to be
priest? (ausie Sells to at

ing porn, Here comes Dr.
Hen

“ Well, that — approach
does become rather unbe-
lievable as it goes on. I be-
eve this for the fam-
us: ‘tshock "em' where: they

ére ‘ain't ‘a?heltuva
lot i’ want to tell you bout
iis jormal kind

a no
bers ‘lot eek

ution is to refus

out any real information by
talking around the subject.
Yes, that’s it. Keep up the
good work, kid.

at homel

Save Time!

it Pays...
oh O SHOP LOCALLY!
Tine and Transportation Costs are ‘Saved

Instead of wasting time travelling to distant stores, the wise shopper puts
that time to use in o more careful selection from the large varieites carried
by our local merchants. The money’ saved on transportation is put to better
use too — on the items themselves. Every day it will pay to shop right here

Save Energy!

Shop in Your Hometown Stores!

CASTLEGAR NEWS

Save Money!

eo acane

Porter Named {572 Chairman
- Robson Recreation | Society

Castlegar Area
Donated $1,900
To Seal Drive

In Castlegar nearly $1,-
900 has been dunata 35

diseases such as emphyse-
ma_ chronic bronebitis and
seine compared to.a: fin-
otal of $2,165, for last

pene t last year’s final

The gaimpeten i Feb.

close officla

“It bas been our” “ex:
perience in ‘other years,”
sald James D. Helmcken,
Society resident, ‘that peo-

ue to answer ilieir ,
ters all ¢

during February, particu-
larly with : thelr. own, a Ber.
sonal rush being over.

revious years and
us to achieve our
ir, Helmcken add-

total

pert thousand, i
74,091 nave been donat-
ed around B.C.

‘Those g to answer
their  Chrisumas Seal let-
ters can send their dona-

CONSGIENCE
& COMMENT

* Com:
done Popov th the comple:

at the pool and stated this
would Eom enhance: the.
pools’ usage this summi

;By-Rev. K. Neill. Foster
bor troubles in Can-

Lal
ada, the United States and -
have focused pub-

lic atfention once ‘again, on
fhe, right fo. Strike, collec-

lect-
ed to the vexecitive for 1972
Sani

re A. P
ent GE ‘Vanderpol, secretary-
eu Va Directors for the

Castlegar Socials

Mrs..R.- Johnson 5-8294
Mrs. H. Johnson return-
ed home at the weekend af-

ter spending ten days visit-
of bh

at the ho!

ide,
Banger, wider Br during. the:

past year as. well as
the badminton

home Friday after
ending a vacation in Haw-

less income tax

this year

as you bulld your retiremeni t

income.

And; the nice thing: ‘Is.the
Government: doesn’t mind

you taking a tax-break if you =
do it through a. Registered *

Retirement Savings Plan...
Let me help you work ‘out
the plan that best suits your

needs for today and tomor-:..”

row: Life is a Mutual Affair,

CHR. (ANDY). ANDREW

Days 365-7961

BA) The Meutsal Lite of Canada

Evenings 365-5992

36.

vermn-
ment intervention, eee
"President Nixon has al-

troll
not settled soon, they could

be legislated back,,to. work’

— even before this ‘appears
in print... -. PPS

small segment of the ju
lation pa paralyze’ the
whole — and stir violent
passions in the process.

Certainly the answer
sees not lie In the direction

And we'll leave it to
Politicians to discover
bo Dooly that Eanes

But we must say this:
Soluttons: which _ Presume

men are basi
and charitable v

— The human heart is st!
“deceitful and ‘desperately
wicked.” Ornery and mean

Fancy political: theories

; are no substitute for hard-

Westerns Cal across a
broad fenvniaae ional spec
frum, there are signs of

* just. tha:

‘WOODLAND PARK (Esso) SERVICE LD.

ATLAS TIRES, BATIERIES AND AUTOMOTIVE ACCESSORIES

2 Expat Tune-Up by Pastronic Sunscope

@ Expert Carburator R

See :@ Electronic Wheel Balancing
. @ All Brake Repairs
— All Work. ia Fully Guaranteed —

sea Agent

"PHONE FRANK HOLDSWORTH AT 365.3955

; "OAS Is, our BUSINESS. — SERVICE is OUR SPECIALTY”

ditioning

or iv Hert Rent-a-Cars and re,

Open 7 Days 0 Week Mon. to Sat. 8 a.m. to 10 p.m,

e Exhaust Systems

Sun. 9 am, to 9 pam

Ruth Townsend
Named Hospital :
Auzxiliary Head
Praise for the work of
the Women's Ai

Mr. Young gpoke son "beh
of the hospital bo:
With

“

CASTLEGAR NEWS, Thursday, February 3, 1972

CUT FROM CANADA
CHOICE, CANADA GOOD
MATURE GRAIN-FED BEEF

Round Steak :
Rump Roasts
Turkeys 6 win. conmo nec
Bologna 22.
Fish” n Chips

JUBILEE :
LUNCHEON MEAT
DADS COOKIES

CHOCOLATE CHIP. .V UB. BOX

CUT FROM CANADA
CHOICE, CANADA GOOD
MATURE GRAIN-FED BEEF .....

dy di

FRASER VALE,
24 OZ. Pi

a | SALMON
[Gais 5-59"

CATELL! DINNEDS 7 Clow Mein mooaies 3. $i

3. 59¢ |GRAINRICE ——-2. z= gage
FROM: OUR INSTORE HoT BREAD =. sy |

WHITE OR BROWN poreentaestet esse

Do! ae
rovincial Doris Sweeney
of B.C... Hospital Auxil-
fficiating officers f

d
candle-light ceremony.
new - executive cons’

Ruth : Townsend, “president, 2
residen:

‘Vera: Cooke,

CAP

VEGETABLE OIL. 128 OZ. TIN ......

- MARGARINE

KRAFT . PARKAY

‘GATELU NoouEs “TEXAS LONG, UNCLE TOM’S

BAKE SHOP
PONDER MILK3 3251. 39 _$2.58
PEANUT BUTTER _59

KRAFT. 36.07. JARS .

ip.
»o The meeting also heard
feports: from out-goin:

P. ;
<2 amed to eee the -

uxiliary on the — hospital
board was Inga Lamont.

PATRICIA
YOUNG |

SAYS
What society needs is

man’s pri-:
j been so invaded — by °-

be

lara. publicit city. i
iy Ey, Fnember-

Ay BURNS. "12° OZ. TIN

. ICOFFEE = == 99:

FIVE. ROSES FLOUR 0.

BUNDLE BARS

NEILSON’S. 20 —

CAT CHOW.

PURINA, 42 OZ. PKG.

Jor

JOHNSON’S.

1.39]

‘MIRACLE WHIP gg

BOX OF

| SURF

y
door-

telephone solicitors,
to-d salesmen and gov-

loor
ernment
get “me _ wrong.

people. Neither

those people

Who! have to cram their ev-

waking hour wi
sound. Even without trying,

our lives are a kaleidascope |,’

of sound — the

Husbands particularly,
frog hop from .one pool of ©

» Sound to another — from a

ry.
a noisy lunchroom, its back
to a noisy office, highway
and home -:— ereu on
many a:housewife finds
husband yearning for peace:
and quiet.

‘he -trouble is, sound
lias become ‘such a part of
our way of-life that we are
unaware: ‘of its accumula-

whole new world — of lea-
ves cracking - underfoot,
birds: .and breeze an
breath,

Then, and often then
alone, one becomes truly.
aware of self,

superficial . sound,

relationship to God and na-

ture becomes: ane nis exciting
ity.

CRISP TENDER LETTUCE _

FFRESH MUSHROOMS _

‘FOR SALADS
OR SLICING. ©

TUBE TOMATOES 2
CALIFORNIA LEMONS.

FULL OF
SUICE ...

Q

Westfair
Associate