Aarts ays CASTLEGAR NEW 2.1079 Looting, april S, Thursday, April 5, 1979 BEYOND REASON The Margaret Trudeau Story From Page Cl Even better were our trips to his remote log cabin and square mile of land at Morin Heights in the Laurentians. It was on these occasions that I came to admire his self-suffi- ciency, the way Pierre did things because he wanted to do the, and not for social con- ventions. “Choose your own life," he kept repeating. “Do what you want to do.” We sat by great log fires: Pierre cooked steaks and pre- pared salad while I told him about my childhood holidays, my Moroccan adventures and Yves, These were idyllic days. Pierre knew I smoked marijuana but he had made ‘it quite plain that he wasn't going to join me and that he was at least a little contemptuous of my need for it. It was an often lonely life. I had few friends in the civil service. Many evenings 1 wound up at a Chinese restaurant on my own. I was loath to let him see that he was fast becoming the only point of my life in ttawa. My work was boring, I had no friends. When I was with him my gloom miraculously vanished. I simply forgot how very lonely I was the rest of the time. As we became happier and happier in each other's company, so I lived from date to date. Then came the day when Pierre asked me to a costume ball at the National Gallery. It was our first public outing. From the instant I stepped out of the car to the flashing of photographers’ cameras, to the But it was all too much for me. | couldn't cope with Pierre and my rotten job and sharing an apartment with a lesbian. moment I got home, I was in hell. It wasn't only that we were gawked at, shoved, and cut off from one another, but that every group we joined fell silent on our arrival: jolly laughter froze and jokes were broken off midway — “Here comes the prime minister.” Wandering around in a lonely, aimless’ way I could sense people whispering, “Who is that dopey looking girl?" When we danced, people stop- ped to stare. As soon as we got into the car I burst into tears. Thated that and everyone was foul,” I sobbed. “I know they're nice people but why did they treat us that way? Why ‘are they so nervous, so stilted, so false? I'm never going out again with you publicly that way.” si “My country mistress,” Pierre used to call me, Meanwhile my life in Ot- tawa without Pierre remained far from satisfactory. I had moved into an apartment with a middle-aged woman who work- ed in the civil service. She had lived in India and the place was crammed with oriental art..I came to depend on her. + All my life I have been surprisingly naive. One morn- . wen 4 oR 1¥ WAS SKIING for four hours straight on our first day of marriage, but then I did marry un sportif. ‘ © Canada Wide Feature Service Ltd, ing I walked into our kitchen for coffee. There, in-her uni- form, though clearly having just got up from bed, was a policewoman. My landlady was appalled by the sight of me, and whispered apologetically in my ear: “Sometimes I get so very lonely.” I pretended total calm, and the policewoman, who turned out to be no ogre, kindly dropped me at work. But it was all too much for me. I couldn't cope with Pierre and my rotten job and sharing an apartment with a lesbian. Happily an old” Ottawa friend called Julie sug- gested we share an apartment, It was wonderful leading a normal life again, with. parties and friends. But it was some- thing of a break with Pierre. We started cancelling our regu- lar dates, and before long I had taken up with a divinity stu- dent. T even agreed to an en- gagement with my would-be pastor which came to a hasty end after Pierre went west for a skiing trip to Whistler Mountain for Easter, 1970. Joyfully, I bade farewell to my divinity student, and to the horrified astonishment ‘of my parents proceeded to spend the most romantic, flirtatious holi* day with Pierre and one of his great friends, Jean Marchand. My mother was full of dire warnings: don't be the mistress of a politician twice your age, she kept repeating. Pierre will never marry you. She might have been proved correct, but for my determination and a series of lucky events. After Easter I quit my job and was accepted | as a graduate student th te psychology department of Ot- tawa University, to st the fall. These changes unsettled ‘me to the point that I realized that I no longer wanted to be Pierre's country mistress. I wanted more. I wanted to live with him. I wanted his children. The end came one weekend when Pierre was holding a caucus party at Harrington Lake. I was staying in the house, but since there were workmen around all day I had to stay hidden indoors. I sud- denly found that I couldn't stand the futility a moment longer. I packed and left. I saw Pierre once again as 1 was leaving Ottawa for the east. The airport was closed because of a crash and in that rather heightened mood of fear and nostalgia for a lost love, I went to call once more at 24 Sussex Drive. I was dressed for the part of romantic heroine, since I had decided to fill in the waiting hours by attending a garden More on Page C11 : ~ By STELLA WILDER ming week. Willingness CI of individuals to make the required changes {s essen- tlal for a- smooth, transl. | ton. + : Those-who protest, aloud or silently, will find them- selves’ fighting against a natural flow of time. For it is in th ; ie nature of present’ environmental!cireum-': stances that:the old order should yield place to the new without further delay. ARIES:(March 21-April 4) i: Seek the advice of those who,have thick enough skins not to be upset if you fail :to. implement .. their suggestions. (April 5-April 19) .~ Financial success depends upon a knowledge of the history of projects involved. Don't-try to start from square]. © <- TAURUS:(April 20-May 5) - + The beginning of'a new opportunity for gain proves exciting this week. Take: advantage of anoth- er’s knowledge. . (May 6- May. 20) '— Don’t try.to get something | for. ‘nothing, * ; are worth what you pay for them this week. No bargains avajlable | any- where. i ‘ GEMINI:(May.21-June 6) - - Take care that you are not influenced into a finan- clal deal you can't handle. Seek wisdom as well as gain. (June 7-June 20) — Prospects for gain twice from the same source are poor. Make up your mind to change. Set new. goals. CANCER:(June 21-July 7) — Seek to involve yourself in projects that promise steady employment, steady profit. Be wary of important relationships must‘be reduced edi- ately.. Emotions run high throughout the week. * LEO:(July ~23-Aug. 7) - Follow another if you are not brave enough yourself to break with precedent. © Originality pays off hand- somely. (Aug. 8-Aug. 22) — Sensitivities may make it difficult for you to grace- - fully ;accept changes in personal relationships. Try to accommodate. -VIRGO(Aug. 23-Sept. 7) - You would do well to swim with the current this week. Don't: be afraid to be thought lacking in starni- na. Get your rest. (Sept. & Sept. 22) — Highlight per- sonal methods of operation this week. What you lose in .. time you will make up in fit profit: LIBRA:(Sept. 23-Oct. 7) ~ Practical matters take your immediate attention this week. The Libra who dreams may lose materi- ally now. (Oct. 8-Oct. 22) — Interest. in.another’s prog- ress Could keep you from making advances. of your . own. ‘Keep some trade - secrets to yourself. SCORPIO:(Oct. 23-Nov. 1) — Don't be confused by strong emotions this week. You can bring much influ-| © ence to bear — if you are tactful. (Nov. 8-Nov. 21) — Don't-allow reality to take over ‘completely. Keep calm in the midst of confu- sion. Let fancy soften a few of the blows. SAGITTARIUS:(Nov. 22- Dec. 7) ~ This is the week when what you reap proves what you’sowed. Be ready to defend your own choices now. 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