a The Castlegar Sun Wednesday, October 21, 1992 ‘anger. Oh, gosh see ene Sader ot deten, Anyohe who claims never to feel angry may be in serious trou- ble. I for one used to claim frus- tration, hurt, helplessness, incredible sadness yes — but I never got angry, at least not so I'd recognize it. At one point during a very intense experiential exercise at a course I was taking, I was asked to write down everything I was angry at my parents for. I had a blank sheet. Hmmm... I've now allowed myself to dredge up memories from “who knows what hole” they were buried in. At first I was absolute- ly horrified! I really didn’t have fantasies about murdering my sis- ter with my tail comb, did I? Or pushing her swing a little too hard 80 she'd go right into orbit. Once T relaxed it all came back... When my sister was always “too little to know better” was I angry? You're darn right I was. However, I focused on my hurt and “poor me” rather than anger. You see our family was predomi nantly female (except my father) and being raised as polite little Birls, anger was not considered lady-like or acceptable. And now, in looking at the concept of “sup- Pressed anger” I realize the incredible human energy we lock within ourselves. It's no wonder some of us feel that we're about to explode some- times, Let's face it, anger is a powerful emotion and _ it's extremely important that we learn to express it in a healthy effective manner, To deny ourselves a safe outlet breeds violence and domestic abuse. Anger, after all is a very healthy and necessary defense, in many Cases, masking genuine hurt. If we do not deal with our anger, the underlying hurts may accompany us as “excess bag- gage” throughout our lives Expressing anger is a release which validates one's feelings. So what about children and anger. A very scary combination, don't you agree? As adults, we must first learn to deal with our own feelings honestly before we can even begin to teach our chil- dren. I believe that in each of us resides a child. If we were wise enough to acknowledge our feel- ings through the years, that child lives peacefully within us, is now @ special part of us. However if we chose to deny our feelings in Order to be “strong” that child remains locked in the pain of yes- terday and causes havoc within our souls. I used to be terrified to express anger, so sure I would go off the “deep end”. You know, totally “lose it”. As a role model and Anger is a healthy and necessar parent, what do I do now? Well, . AQUARIUS SATELLITES Your comfort zone dealer for all your programming needs. Nowhere else will you get the entertainment value per channel that SKYLIGHT PROGRAMMING offers. Make sure you have the best... 30 day trade in program of old VC II boards for new VC II + x -_ when all else fails, I do exactly as my parents did. There's no quick- er way to anger than to be con- est. 1982 Kootenay Stone Institute is not only organized and promoted bya woman but is now teyght by a woman. 7 Iris) Bakken, a Salmo entrepreneur who owns and Oper- ates Kootenay Stone Company, realized that part of the problem in selling stone was the lack of fully qualified stone masons. She conceived the idea of having a school for stone masonry in the Kootenays. She took the idea to several educational facilities, including Selkirk College, but expires October 30, 1992 (or while supplies last). October sale $375 ex¢ hange plus programming regular suzvested retail approx. $750 Your local contact: Al Burt J Call after 6:00 p.m. - (604) 447-9453 fronted by anger, especially a child's, Children are very moti- vated by the “right now, what about me, and why not” syn- drome, And how dare they? We cannot believe this child would have the audacity to speak to us like that. Well, the little children inside of us were never allowed to get away with that and by gosh, nei- ther will this child. So we come up with all the usual threats, manipulations and control tactics to make our child behave and “show us some respect”. To be realistic, it’s not like we have fifteen minutes to sit down, reason this out and come up with a solution. We have to deal with this and “act” now, or do we? An interesting question. Of course if your child is about to set fire to your home or somé other similar form of destructive behavior, it would be in your best interest to was turned down. Being con vinced of the necessity of such an institution, she started her own school in 1990. Bonny Klovance Salmo Impressions She hired Fruitvale stone mason, Al Tater, who had been Charging & Starting System Test Body Shop Specials WINTERIZE AND SAVE ATTENTION KALAWSKY PONTIAC BUICK CUSTOMERS! Fall is here and winter is on the way. So we here in the service department for some preventative maintenance work. Let us offer you the followimg specials for your car a safe and worty free winter. Includes checking all hoses, Includes: pressure testing system and adding new antifreeze $2 395 + parts & taxes ng System Flush Automatic Transmission Service drain & flush fluid, inspecting for wear, replacing with NEW filter & oil. + parts & taxes $H3°5 Winter Tune-ups NOW think it's time or truck to have Includes testing alternator, battery, starter and checking all belts. $4995 + parts & taxes Check and replace or adjust as necessary, spark Plugs, fitters, ignition timing, idie speed, drive belts, emission components and scan test 4 cyl. - $64°5 + parts & taxes 6 cyl. - * 69 + parts & taxes Protect your car this winter from rock damage with our custom 2 cy, °8 75 For an appointment call Dick Dunlop or Brian Panchiv + parts & taxes y defense “subdue” them. I do, however have this mistaken belief that | have to deal with this child's anger now! I walked into parenthood armed with the knowledge that! impart on these pages today. So why don't I always practise what I preach? For starters, it’s a tad risky for the inexperienced such as myself. Further, I find I still am intimidated by that “feeling” and tend to fall back on automatic responses when put “on the spot” I believe that allowing our children their feelings teaches them respect for their fellow human beings’ feelings as well And as parents we must teach them to effectively deal with their feelings, non-destructively. And of course our role as parents does not end there, for there is no bet- ter teacher than by example, right? Stone masonry a solid idea in Salmo injured in his line of work and was no longer able to do stone masonry, as her instructor. Unfor- tunately, his disabilities have become more severe and he is no longer able to teach the class Bakken found another instructor but he disappeared one week before the school was to start. So she did the only thing she could. She taught the course herself. Not that Bakken is a stranger to stone masonry. She has been the Presi- dent, Manager and Owner-Opera- tor of Kootenay Stone for twenty years. In this capacity and as the organizer of the Stone Masonry and Small Business Program, she is very familiar with every aspect of stone work. She has even writ- ten a book about it. So, when the instructor crisis arose, she hired a yard man to take care of her day- to-day business and became’ the instructor to three students from the coast “I was a little apprehensive about it, not knowing how men would take me as an instructor, Bakken stated, “But I had a great time teaching and they are a great bunch.” Keith Ferguson from White rock, Jim Mitchell from Rich mond, and Shawn Keller from Campbell River have now com- pleted the course and are back at the coast soon to be putting their skills to work “The fact of having a woman mstructor was never an issue,” stated Ferguson. He is a former truck driver and owner-operator See SALMO IMPRESSIONS 2A ; Cryst al \l Crystals Rocks + Jewellery ” POLLAINE £. EMDE 1480 COLUMBIA AVE. CASTLEGAR, B.C. VIN 3K3 (604) 365-7616 Wednesday, October 21, 1992 The Castlegar Sun Christmas Seals seek $5,635 from Castlegar ‘SUBMITT ED Castlegar residents are looking at a goal of $5,635 in the annual Christmas Seal Campaign that begins this month to raise money for the British Columbia Lung iation (BCLA). That represents a five-per- cent increase over donations made last year by area residents, said Bunny Charters, Castlegar- area Christmas Seal chairperson, who noted that the figure is part of a province-wide goal of $1.5 “Despite uncertain economic times, we hope that people will be generous because the need is great,” said Charters. “One in five British Columbians suffer from lung problems, but every- one is affected. “The fact is, everyone pays for = Salmo Impressions Continued from 1A who read about the school in the local newspaper and was always interested in stone work: When asked what attracted him to the field, he replied, “A visit to Scotland gave me a love for stonework. I have an artistic flare and I saw this as a way to express myself and still earn a living.” His experience in i trucking business gives him a good basis for the business aspect of the training and he states that is very good. He appreciated the friendliness of the people in Salmo, especially on the Golf Course. He stayed at Hidden Creek Camp Groups and boarded at Uncle Al's and enjoyed his month here. “T gain satisfaction from work- ing with my hands and creating something permanent in this ‘throw-away’ society. The work will be here long after we depart.” Keller saw the writeup of the first course in the B.C. Govern- ment publication and, being out of work due to the closure of the boatworks where he was , employed, he applied. He had worked for a stone mason and is an artist with some training. A visit to Victoria peeked his inter- est in stone work and he saw it as @ way to combine his artistic tal- ent with the hard work he enjoys. “I liked the mural and find the random ashler work interesting and artistically challenging. I pre- fer to work on a small job and do quality work than to be expected to produce quantity on a big job.” He plans to combine his wood- working skills with stone mason- ty and build his own log house. As soon as he can fund the pur- chase of the necessary tools, he hopes to work as an independent Operator. He has been boarding at Uncle Al's but looks forward to getting home. He is married with one ‘child. Mitchell had the course recom- mended to him by Youth Services in Richmond. He needed a perma- nent job and really liked the work. He found the stonework “really interesting and said Iris is unique. T learned a lot I didn’t expect to Jeam including working with light and heavy stone,” he said. He finds Salmo much cheaper . to live and has stayed at Hidden Creek Camp Grounds and the Sil- ver Dollar Hotel. He has a job to go back to in construction at Whistler and hopes to eventually have his own business. Bakken treated her students and some visitors to a Graduation Ceremony at Trapper John’s lung disease in one way or another — through personal suffering or higher health care costs or losses to the economy as wage-earners become too ill to work.” “Changing that is a big job, and British Columbians,” said Chanters. Christmas Seal gifts support advanced research conducted in B.C. , Health education stressing Patient independence and informa- tion programs on air quality issues. The Ch Seal i your Lung Association d entirely oa help from individual runs through the end of January, and every household in the Province receives a package of seals and a reply card for dona- tions. Charters hopes that people put the seals on all their mail, even if they can't afford to give this year, as a sign of support for BCLA Powerful story of sexual abuse coming to Castlegar SUBMITTED Castlegar again, this time with dysfunction i Headlines Theatre, known throughout the Ki for its dramati tions on important social issues, is coming to ‘& piece on fumily #8 sexual abuse and related issues affects all of us. In Headlines i first has a chance to fe There with the play and local counsellors as well to answer andi and the action fora second. per- i be a counsellor travelling native groups in the province, but it was felt the issues represented were of concern to all familics IMMUNIZE WITH FLU VACCINE FLU CLINIC LOCATION: St. Rita's Parish Hall 513 7th Avenue, Castlegar DATES: Wednesday, October 14 Wednesday, October 21 Wednesday, November 4 TIMES: 9:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. AVAILABLE TO: ¢ Anyone 65 years and older ¢ Adults or children with heart or lung problems under doctor's care. WEAR SHORT SLEEVES BLOOD PRESSURE MONITORING AVAILABLE TEA AND COFFEE AVAILABLE Bakken d ifi and gifts to each graduate. A highlight of the evening was a faxed con- gratulations from ex-premier Bill Vander Zalm. Bakken is very pleased with her first experience as an instruc- tor and Salmo now has its sixth stone mural thanks to her school. Local businesses and organiza- tions have contracted her to con- Struct the murals on their Properties. Local artist, Charlotte Planidin who now lives at the Coast, drew the murals, often using a photograph for accuracy. Then the students, with Bakken’s assistance in picking the coloured stones and putting them in place, completed the murals. These works of art add another dimen- sion to Salmo architecture and are well worth seeing. 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Chris Darcy and his two sons, Mr. and Mrs. Howard Dirks, Dennis Beaulieu, Jim Mitchells’ brother Greg, this reporter and the graduates enjoyed a delicious supper. We Install 6 cyl., 5 speed, 235x15 all terr. tires, 3.55 rear end, Am radio, manual hubs, cloth bench seat, undercoat, 4 cyl., auto., air, cassette, power mirfors, whitewall tires, tilt steering, front arm rest. 4 door, 4x 4, 4L., auto., rear wiper washer, air, cassette, rack, 365-2155 Castlegar & area ‘364-0213 Trail, Fruttvaie or Rossiand trimiine. 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