How to Out-Fox a Fox

... or the sad, sad story of Jonas McGuillicuddy!

Old Jonas McGuillicuddy was as shrewd
as a fox with sixteen college degrees, including
one from Harvard. He took great pride in
bragging far and wide how he could stretch a
dollar bill further than anybody.

Jonas was a farmer, and a good one. He
was as careful with his tools and equipment as a
mother cat with her kittens.

But . . . one day he broke the handle out
of his garden hoe . . . went to town to look for a
new one... and ain't been the same ever since

Jonas bought most of his hardware stuff
from a guy named Willard Davis. He'd run the
store for thirty years, and knew everybody for
miles around. Awful quiet fellow. Wouldn't get
excited if his Hair caught on fire.

“Need a hoe, Willard,’ Jonas said.
“Whataya got in a good hoe for not too much
money?”

Willard hauled out three hoes and laid
‘em on the counter. Before he could say a word,
Jonas picked up one and remarked that it was
just like his old hoe.

“How much?” Jonas wanted to know.

“$13.79,” said Willard.

“Too much,” said Jonas.

“Oh?" said Willard.

“Too much,” repeated Jonas. “Why | can
get the same darn hoe exactly from Whoozis
and Whatzis for $13.49, ‘cause | looked in their
catalog before | came to town. That's a whole 30

cents cheaper than your price!”

Willard didn't say anything for a minute.
Just chewed a couple of times on his pipe.

Finally he said, “Jonas, | ain't. going to
argue with you. You're a good customer. My

price of $13.79 is fair and square. . . but I'll tell
you what I'll do. I'll sell you that hoe ‘mail order
catalog’ style.”

“Let me get this right, Willard, you'll sell
me this here hoe for just what it'd cost me by
mail?”

“For-you, Jonas, | will.”

“It's a deal!” Jonas barked, before
Willard could back down. “Here's your $13.49.”
He grabbed the hoe and started for the door.

“Hold on, Jonas, you owe me just a little
more money,” Willard said quietly.

“How so?” Jonas wanted to know.

“Well, said Willard, and he started to grin
.. “it'd cost you 36 cents for a stamp to send in
your order. That's $13.85 right there.

As Jonas started to turn purple, Willard
wenton... “and then it'll cost your $3.00 more
return postage from Montreal on your hoe.
That's $16.85 and that’s what you owe me.”

Ever see a fox in a trap? He'll look
everywhere for a hole to sneak out of. But,
Willard had plugged every hole . . . and old
Jonas was caught fast. He knew it, too.

Jonas was breathing a little hard-as he
hammered $16.85 down on the counter. Willard
thanked him, nice as could be. ~

Once more Jonas reached for the hoe.

“Git your hands off that hoe, Jonas!”
Willard said. He was grinning again. “You know
darn well what kind of service you get fro
catalog outfits!" *

Willard took the hoe out of Jonas’ stun-
ned fingers, and laid it back on the shelf. “Come

in two weeks from now, Jonas, and you can
have it!”

Oi

astlegar News

Display Advertising 365-5210

Moy 22,1988 81

Need a mortgage?
Welll make ithappen.

.C. Lions chop veteran kicker

By BRIAN KENNEDY

38

VANCOUVER — Veteran kicker Lui
Passaglia, No. 2 on the Canadian
Football League's all-time scoring list,
has been given the boot by the B.C.
Lions. a

General manager Joe Galat, calling it
a football decision rather than a cost
cutting move, said. the Lions have
elected to go with Tony Martino, the
team's top pick in this year’s Canadian
college draft.

“What looked like what was devel-
oping was that Lui probably wouldn't
make our ball club because of the leg of
Martino,” Galat said. “He (Martino) is
an excellent kicker and of course he's

Checke

By CasNews Staff

Gary Fleming of Checkers Pub
continues to lead the Castlegar Men's
Fastball League hitting race with a
sizzling .520 average. He has 13 hits jn
25 at bats. Don Savinkoff of Labatts is
second with nine hits in 19 at bats for a
.474 average. Doug Knowler of K and
A Tire rounds out the top three hitters
with a .444 average on eight hits in 18
plate appearances.

Meanwhile, Eli Soukeroff of
Checkers remains unbeaten on the
mound, posting six wins in as many de-
cisions. Labatts’ Pete Evdokimoff has a
record of three wins and one loss, while
Checkers’ Fleming has two wins.

Checkers also remains unbeaten atop
the five-team league standings with
eight straight wins. Labatts is a distant
second with four wins in seven games.
Tu-dor Sports has three wins, four
losses and a tie to give them seven
points on the season, one back of
Labatts.

Hi Arrow Arms, a perennial favorite,
is a surprising fourth with only two
wins ‘and a tie in six games. K and A
Tire has yet to win in seven outings.

Checkers added to their lead this
week with two wins — a 4-2 decision
Thursday over Tu-dor Sports at
Playmor, anda 10-2 pounding of K and
A Tire on Monday

Soukeroff picked up the win for the
pubmen in the Thursday game, hurling
a four-hitter. Cam Sookro was tagged
with the loss, allowing six Checkers’
hits, including two by Bob Larsh.

Checkers’ Clay Liber started the
game on the right foot, banging out a
home run to lead off the first inning.

On Monday Checkers scored eight
runs in the sixth inning in the 10-2 win

younger. Lui’s 34 years of age.”

“I'm 33,” corrected Passaglia, adding
with a touch of bitterness: “but all of a
sudden I'm ancient.”

Martino, 21, is a native of West Van.
couver who played college ball at Kent
State.

Told of Galat's comment about Mar
tino's talents, Passaglia’s agent, Mike
Sullivan, said: “That's interesting.
Joe's exact words to me were the
younger, cheaper player.”

TALKS STALLED

Passaglia, who has led the Lions in
scoring the last 12 seasons, said the
club’s decision to opt for Martino was
strictly financial, even though the
veteran kicker offered to play for half

rs leads

.
over K and A Tire. Terry Taranoff
started the game on the mound for the
pubmen, but gave way to Fleming in
the fifth. Together, they allowed seven
K and A hits. Fleming picked up the
victory. .

P. Kabatoff led Checkers with two
hits, while Doug Knowler sparked the
K and A attack with three hits in three
at bats. Knowler also scored both K
and A runs. Teammate Terry Nazaroff
went two for two. Gerry Trubetskoff
suffered the loss but allowed only six
Checkers hits.

of his 1987 hase salary of $150,000.

Passaglia, who ranks second in
all-time scoring behind former Edmon
ton kicker Dave Cutler, said Galat
increased his offer to $65,000 and told
him to take it or leave it.

The kicker, who signed a four-year
contract in 1984, said the Lions had
advised him in January they planned to
pick up his option. In February, how
ever, he was placed on waivers and
became a free agent.

Despite his free-agent status, Pass.
aglia said Galat continued to assure
him he was still wanted. On Thursday
night, however, Passaglia said Galat
called him to determine his salary
demands.

league

The game was tied 2-2 at the end of
five innings when Checkers combined
several hits with four K and A errors to
put the game out of reach,

Finally, Labatts edged Tu-dor Sports
2-1 behind the seven-hit pitching of
Pete Evdokimoff. Frank Loukianoff
and Don Savinkoff led Labatts with
two hits apiece. Bob Marsh sparked the
Tu-dor offence with two hits in three
appearances.

Tony Kabatoff took the loss, giving
up five hits.

Risen Star takes
Preakness Stakes

BALTIMORE (AP) — Risen Stat
took the lead on the final turn and went
on to win the Preakness Stakes on
Saturday as Kentucky Derby winner
Winning Colors finished third, ending
hopes fora Triple Crown this year.

The filly Winning Colors was in the
hunt but was carried wide on the turn
into the stretch and was never able to
catch the strapping colt, whose owner
was reluctant to enter him.

Winning Colors ‘finished behind
Brian's Time and failed in her bid to
become the first filly to win two Triple
Crown races.

Risen Star, ridden by Eddie Del
ahoussaye, was third in the Derby.

Louie Roussel III, co-owner and
trainer of Risen Star, hedged all week
on whether he would start the colt,
despite his good showing in the Derby

Roussel was especially reluctant

because rain had made the Pimlico
track muddy. However, the track
condition was changed to good after
the sixth race.

“This is the best racehorse I'ye had
in 20 years and I don't want him to run
on an off-track if I don’t have to,”
Roussel said.

RACE OF LIFE

Risen Star ran the race of his life,
carrying scale weight of 126 pounds
over 1 3-16 miles in 1:56 1-5.

Risen Star's winning margin over
Brian's Time was 1'4 lengths. Brian's
Time was another 1' lengths over
Winning Colors, who was 21% lengths
in front of Private Terms.

Completing the order of finish were
Cefis, Regal Classic, Forty Niner,
Sorry About That and Finder's Choice.

Front
office
needed

The Castlegar. Rebels will be
making wholesale changes to the
front-office and coaching staff be
fore next season. New faces will be
seen from the president's spot right
down to the trainer.

It's kind of frightening to think
that team which ended up in first
place in the KIJHL West Division
with 27 wins and 15 losses in the
regular season is losing most of the
off-ice people who made it happen.
Certain events have led the Rebel
coaching staff and executive to
leave the fold.

Coach Ted Hargreaves recently
signed on as coach with the Nelson
Junior Maple Leafs, a move which
he says will make it easier on him
He says he enjoyed coaching the
Castlegar team but the travel time
from his home in Nelson became too
tiring to justify coaching another
season with the Rebels.

“I enjoyed coaching the Rebels”,
Hargreaves says. “(But) that was a
fill-in job as far as I was concerned.”

Hargreaves says one of the prob
lems the club faces is that there
aren't enough kids playing hockey in
the area. The player pool between
Trail, Nelson and Castlegar is
getting thin because there aren't as
many playérs as there used to be
The Rebels had five Nelson players
in the lineup last season

Gary McQuaid, the other Rebel
coach, has also indicated he will not
be back for another season behind
the bench with the Rebs.

“I'm trying to get some rest,”

Sporting
Views

By Brendan Nagle

says the Nelson resident. “If asked
to coach the Rebels I would lean
towards no for next year.”

McQuaid cited the same reasons
as Hargreaves for not wanting to
come back to Castlegar: too much
Aravel. McQuaid says the Rebels
have a good organization and a good
front office.

“They've got a great executive,”
he say And) the kids played well
for me.”

But how can you have a good
executive if it doesn't exist?

President Jim Rysen has thrown
in the towel and Dorothy Martini
the Rebels’ hard-working, dedicated
secretary-treasurer- registrar.stat
istican — has also called it quits

The fact that the Rebel front
office is bailing out was appallingly
clear at the team’s annual general
meeting at the Community Complex
two weeks ago. Four people at
tended

Martini says the meeting was
poorly attended because it was
scheduled on Mother's Day

“There were a number of people
who showed interest,” she says.
“Two who weren't there have ex
pressed interest.”

Just great, the people who may
be taking front office positions can’t
even make the annual general
meeting.

Rysen — who's been with the club

for five years — says it's time for
him to get out.

“Five years is definitely enough,”
Rysen says. “My kid is playing
minor hockey and I want to be a
part of it.”

Rysen says he is also tired of his
position with the Rebels.

“I'm definitely burnt out,” he
says.

But it’s not all doom and gloom. A
few familiar faces will be with the
Rebels for next season. Manager
Peter Semenoff will be back with
the club along with vice-president
Rod Zavaduk and Fred Planidin.
Zavaduk has been with the club for
four seasons; Semenoff started last
year as did Planadin. The thrée will
have to work hard over the next few
weeks to get the front office back on
track for the upcoming league
annual general meeting in Cran
brook June 3 and 4.

The team needs executive mem
bers, coaches and a trainer before
next season. There is a solid core of
young players who deserve solid
team representation from the top of
the organization right down to the
ice

There is plenty of time to get the
organization back into shape before
the start of next season and it will
be tough to fill the shoes of some of
the people who have left. But those
shoes must be filled.

Passaglia cited $75,000 and said
Galat replied: “We can't go that high.”
UNFAIR TREATMENT

“I was willing to take the largest pay
cut on the club when other members
were only asked to take a 30 per cent
cut,” Passaglia said. “I'm not bitter, but
I don't think I'm being treated fairly.”

Galat, however, said he withdrew his
offer after his coaching staff decided
that the job belonged to Martino. He
also said Passaglia had asked to be
freed so he could pursue employment
im the National Football League.

Passaglia set CFL single-season
records last year for most points scored
(214) and most field goals (52). But as a

punter, he ranked last in the league in
1987 with a 41.2 yard average.

CFL teams are operating with indi
vidual budget caps of $3 million this
year, covering all football operating
expenses.

Passaglia now says B.C.’s loss may
be the Cleveland Browns’ gain

“Cleveland said they need a punter
and although I haven't talked money
the team seems very interested in me,”
he said.

Passaglia also said he would be
interested in playing for other CFL
clubs if the Browns offer fails to
materialize.

Veteran slotback John Pankratz,
meanwhile, is another Lion who won't
be back with the team. The eight-year
veteran was cut this week after reject-
ing a final contraet offer of $45,000.

Quarterback Roy Dewalt was de-
clared a free agent by the courts earlier
this year after successfully launching
legal action to recover unpaid bonus
clauses in his contract.

The Lions are also having trouble
signing four other veterans.

Player agent George Chayka said
enly $44,000 stands between the club
signing offensive tackle Jim Mills,
gadrd\Gerald Roper, centre Ian Sin
clair and defensive tackle Rick Klassen.

MAN ON MAN... . Castlegar’s Andy Smith (left) puts o
tackle on a Trail player yesterday at the Castlegar

soccer tournament at Kiwanis Park. The Trail junior
squad beat the Castlegar junior team7-0.

CasNews photo by Brendon Nagle

Expos bounce Giants

innings while improving his record to 5-0 in Fenway Park

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) Floyd Youmans pitched a

two-hitter for his first victory of the season as the Montreal this year.

Expos beat the San Francisco Giants 6-0 on Saturday.
Youmans, 1-3, struck out seven and walked one en route

to his first victory since Sept. 6, 1987. He reitred 18 of the lead

first 19 batters he faced.

Youmans allowed gles to Candy Maldonado in the
second and Chris Speier in the seventh. It was the

right-hander's fourth career two-hitter.

The Expos scored three runs inthe fourth inning off
Rick Reuschel, 5-3. Reuschel has been shut out in all three of

his losses.

Consecutive doubles by Tim Raines and Hubie Brooks
gave the Expos a 1-0 lead in the fourth.
followed with a single that sent Brooks to third and
Galarraga moved to second on the throw home. Jeff Reed

followed with a two-run single
Johnny Paredes was hit by a pitch

Robinson leading off the seventh and went to third on a

Hurst survived a shaky third inning when California
combined three hits and an error for three runs for a 3-2

Chili Davis homered with two out in the eighth off

Hurst and Lee Smith came on to get his sixth save
Krawczyk, 0-1, got one out before the Red Sox went

ahead 2-0 in the first on consecutive singles by Marty

Barrett, Wade Boggs, Dwight Evans and Greenwell.
With two out in the third, the Angels took a 3-2 lead.

Mark McLemore beat out an infield hit and scored on Johnny

Andres Galarraga

Ray's double off the left-field wall

Ray scored as Evans fielded Wally Joyner’s routine
grounder to first and threw wildly to Hurst covering. Davis
followed with a triple to centre, scoring Joyner.

Barrett was hit by a pitch in the third and Boggs
from reliever Don walked before Greenwel! hit his homer. It was a line drive to

grounder. Paredes was trapped off third on a missed corner

squeeze attempt by Youmans and made it back to the bag on
a throwing error by catcher Bob Melvin.

Paredes scored on Youmans’ single and Youmans came
around on a groundout and a run-scoring single by Tim

Wallach.

With one out in the eighth, Galarraga hit his ninth home

run to make it 6-0.

RED SOX 8 ANGELS 4
BOSTON (AP) — Mike Greenwell drove in four runs

night

BALTIMORE

right which Davis just missed on a dive into the stands in the

ORIOLES 3 MARINERS 1

(AP) — Keith Hughes eighth-inning
triple scored Bill Ripken with the tie-breaking run as the
Baltimore Orioles beat the Seattle Mariners 3-1 Saturday

Jeff Ballard, 1-0, in his first start since being recalled

from Class AAA Rochester on Thursday, got the vietory..He
allowed 10 hits, struck out three and walked none in 8 1-3

with a three-run homer and a run-scoring single, leading the save

Boston Red Sox past the California Angels 8-4 Saturday

Greenwell singled home a run in the first off Ray
Krawezyk then hit a three-run homer in the thrid to put the
Red Sox ahead 5-3. Greenwell also singled in a three-run

fifth.

Backed by a 12-hit attack, left-hander Bruce Hurst won
his sixth game in seven decisions, allowing four runs in 7 2-3

innings. Tom Niedenfuer got the last two outs for his third

Ripken opened the eighth with a walk from Dennis
Powell, 1-2, and Hughes then tripled to centre. Fred Lynn
followed with a single to make it 3-1.

It was only the Orioles seventh victory in 41 games.

Eddie Murray
Scott Bankhead and tame around to score when Larry
Sheets doubled to give the Orioles a 1.0 lead in the second.

who went 4-for-4, singled off starter