11, 19918

Bonehead Brack’s back and he’s bad

m In the upcoming battle to
decide B.C.’s strongest man,
there are some things you just
can’t do

I was shamelessly abusing fruit
at the local supermarket the other
day when I ran into long-time
Castlegar resident and pillar of
society, Brack Raquetsquash.

- “Brack, you goof, what're you up
to these days?” I said, with a
playful but painful punch in the
arm (which I heard was a jock’s
way of being sensitive).

“Hey Ted (we've been friends for
years), check it out,” he said,
indicating with a nod the little red
shopping basket he was toting.

“What ya got there Brack?” I
asked, bending down to take a
closer look. “Hmm, spinach,
sardines, steak, liver, vitamins.
What gives? I always had you
pegged for a greasy pizza-sloppy
burger, kind of guy.”

“I’m going to be B.C.’s toughest

Getting Ready

man,” he said.

“Yeah, right and mn going out
with Morgan Fairchil:

“Really, when?”

“Shut up Brack.You don’t really
mean to tell me you're going in that
B.C. Tough Man Challenge in Trail
in October, do you?”

“You bet..I’m going on this all-
protein diet, lifting a few weights,
then I'm gonna get in that ring and
crack some heads, not to mention
picking | up a crisp G-note in the
process.”

“Brack, I don’t care if you eat the
liver out of every animal from here
to Hudson’s Hope, you're going to
get pulverized if you go in this

“How do you figure, Ted?”
“Listen Brack, do you know
anything about boxing?”

“No, but who cares? Whats
boxing got to do with it anyway?
This is a brawlfest Ted, and I figure
Tl do what all the great brawlers
T’ve known do.”

“What's that Brack?”

She shoots, she. . . : Andrea Hughes, a forward on ti

school's senior girls field hockey team, sd Gocush Gio paees Wctiag Ga Caaan Yorn
Chemott in a practice at the school. The senior girts play their first game Sept. 17 in Trail.

“It’s simple, I just cozy up a chair in
the local establishment of my choice,
get superwaitress Sue to serve me up
enough imbibables to K 9e me juiced,
then I can step into that ring with
ent courage to destroy a small

“Oh , you're in big trouble.”

“How’s that?”

“First of all, you can't drink in these
things. If the organizers smell booze
on your breath, you'll probably get

punched out ant fee! the pavement
outside before you ever hit the vga

“Secondly, you have to take, and
pass, a medical. And just looking at
your sallow exterior, I can'tell you
haven't coughed for a doctor in
some time.

“And thirdly, the best part about go-
ing to these things is to see guys like
you, the tough guys with bad atti-
tudes, get garbled goofy by the guys
who know what they're doing.

“I mean, I'd bet on Audrey Moore
over you if I knew she’d taken even
one boxing .

“Ted, you're & downer, you know
that.”

“The name’s Ed, Brack. And basi-
cally, | Jay death wat to,a09 Jos Bet
art.”

bled ofc spganenlly mare thon 0 tas
> BDI iy a le
miffed.

Call it coincidence, but on my way
out I saw — right there, shoved be-
tween two boxes in a Kraft Dinner dis-
play —a package of liver and two cans
of sardines.

Manpower shortage
hurts soccer teams
in under-12 division

@ Kickers lose to
Rossland while Tornado
take it on the chin at
Kiwanis field.

News Staff

Lack of manpower com-
pounded a lack of scoring
punch for Castlegar’s two un-
der-12 soccer teams.

Both the Castlegar Kickers
and Tornado were forced to
play a man short in games
Monday and both paid for it on
the scoreboard.

The Kickers were beaten 7-
2 by the Rossland Hotspurs in
Rossland while the Tornado
‘were on Kiwanis field in a 4-1
loss to the Beaver Valley
Flames.

Tyler Thompson scored the
lone Tornado goal in the loss
while Ryan Fontes and Craig

Davis scored for the Kickers.

‘Tornado coach Joe Duarte
Chris Mansbridge

In the other game Monday
in the Trail Minor Soccer Asso-
ciation, the under-14 division
X-Men were beaten 1-0 by the

Greg Swanson

Warfield Lions at the Commu-
nity Complex.

Contrary to a report re-
ceived last week, the X-Men
did not lose a game against the

Glenmerry Sting in Glenmer-
ry last Wednesday.

In fact the X-Men actually
led the game 2-0 at halftime

Craig Swanson scored twice
for the X-Men in the tie. The
names of the other goal scorers
weren't avai .

The Beaver Valley Hustlers
are in town today to play the X-
Men in a 5 p.m. start at Kiwa-

This year you'll be surprised
who's following NHL Hockey.

HOCKEY DRAFT

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